Egg Sandwiches Are Evil

A train steward refused to sell a passenger an egg sandwich . . . because he might choke on it.

I think this is a misprint,  it should read 

A train steward refused to sell a passenger an egg sandwich . . . because he might be choked for it.

There is nothing more anti-social than an egg sandwich in an enclosed space.

The only reason for their sale is that the seller or manufacturer has a hatred for mankind to a depth that even the worst mass murderer could only dream of.

The only people who buy them are those that want to piss off everyone in the vicinity and make their lives as miserable as their own.

I mean people don’t even eat them at home, who stands in the kitchen and says

“You know what, I fancy an egg mayonnaise sandwich, I’ll make myself one .”

No one, that’s who.

Speaking as someone who came close to tears and then violence after being stuck next to a Swedish student in cattle class on an 8 hour trans Atlantic flight,  who had decided to pack a lunch that seemed to consist of a whole loaf of egg sandwiches because he ‘Didn’t like airline food’

8 frikkin hours, munch munch, stink stink, munch munch. stink stink.

The smell stuck with me for days, even today I can’t see a picture of the Statue of Liberty without having an olfactory flash back. In my mind New York smells of egg. 

So I think the steward should be given a medal for saving this mans life, as I’m sure the other passengers, tired and frustrated after being crammed onto a broken down train would have torn him limb from limb as soon as he pierced the cling film.

And another thing

He saw some egg sandwiches on sale behind the bar that looked appetising,

Not even if presented next to a fresh turd garnished with dog sick, can an egg sandwich ever be considered ‘appetising’

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Way Cool

What ever your opinions of Google Street View as it applies to the modern day

You have to admit, this is really a splendid use of the technology

Ancient city of Pompeii added to Google Street View

(Enter ‘Pompeii ruins’ into search to take you to the centre)

Poets Day (22)

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

Meditation XVII – John Donne

Donkey Bomb

Artists Impression

Taliban use donkeys to launch bomb attacks on British troops

The latest threat to Allied soldiers has been uncovered after insurgents sent a donkey loaded with high-explosives galloping towards a military camp in Helmand Province.

A suspicious sentry killed the animal with a single shot after flares failed to halt it.

Are they really? 

Is it not the case of 

Donkeys use Taliban to launch bomb attacks on British troops

Just saying, the evidence is mounting

Water Buffalo kills 18

Grandmother killed by cow

Deer kills motorist

Many others to be found at Mark Wadsworth’s blog 

I’ve also posted about other non-Bovine animal attacks

Although I feel Mark must share some of the blame for this escalation, with his taunting of Donkeys in his post

Donkeys Just Don’t Get It

If I was a donkey, I’d be pissed off.

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Where Do I Join The Queue?

 

Bono: 'I'm overpaid, so shoot me'

OK job done.

But decisions, decisions.

In the face or KGB style in the back of the neck?

Hand gun or rifle , Glock or MP5 or even shot gun.?

and then there’s the ammo

FMJ or Hollow point ; pellets or sabot?

Never mind I’ll work on it.

Guidance On Photographers Just Not Getting Through, Go Figure

Following on from

BBC man in terror quiz for photographing St Paul's sunset

in which a Met spokesman said

"We recognise the balance between effective policing and respecting the rights of the media and the general public to take photographs.Guidance around the issue has been made clear to officers and PCSOs."

Comes the latest harassment of a photographer from that prime terrorist target Burgess Hill.

Brighton photographer stopped for taking 'terror' festive lights photos

Andrew White, 33, from Kemp Town, Brighton, was taking snaps of the decorations in Burgess Hill town centre when two Police Community Support Officers started following him as he walked to work.

The two female PCSOs then stopped him and asked why he had been taking pictures and if he was a professional photographer.

What the blithering difference does it make if he was a professional or not.  Can professional photographers not be potential terrorists or is it vice versa.

And comes the cracker.

A Sussex Police spokesman said the officers spoke to Mr White because they were concerned he was taking too many photographs in a busy shopping area.

By who’s definition is ‘too many’   he was using a film camera and most would say you take 3 for each shot to bracket the exposure. Is three now suspicious.

With digital you can take even more, I regularly take 5, 6 even more of the same shot to get the angle , exposure, DoF that I want.

He said: “They were acting in good faith, balancing individual liberty against the need to ensure public safety.”

No they weren’t they were screwing with a law abiding citizen acting perfectly legally because they could.
After all, it’s easier than confronting any of the real antisocial behaviour because those people would just tell them to ‘Fuck Off’

This is one of the reasons I am loathe to take my camera out in a public place these days.
I feel if I am stopped, my anger with these tin-pot  jobs-worth's might get me into trouble or at least onto the DNA database.

Jim Davidson ( the ‘comedian’) used to say that Policemen used to have their brains removed at Hendon and replaced with a Nickommeter. and spend their days ‘Nicking’ easy targets.

It was a joke then, but nobody's laughing now.

Binge Drinking? There’s An NHS App For That

The NHS has released an iPhone app that lets you tot up the amount of fake units you’ve had.

I don’t know how much it costs to develop an iPhone app, but you can bet the NHS was charged 10x the going rate by Crapita or EDS or whoever's turn it was for the dip in the pork barrel.

Money well spent?  I don’t think so

Still it’s down with kids and otherwise they’d have to spend the money on all those bothersome things like cleaning products or cancer drugs.

Every day there’s one more twist of the knife

H/t  and story at The Register - NHS hurls iPhone into booze abuse fray

Sense Of Humour Failure

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A garden centre has provoked a feminist backlash from customers after suggesting men made their wives "feel special this Christmas" by buying a rotary clothesline as a present.

Best quote from Margaret Green of women's equality group WAITS*

"If you insist on buying your wife something for the house at least buy her something she can use over the Christmas period - a cooker perhaps."

If that’s not gender stereotyping, I don't know what is.I mean that’s up there with:

Q: Why do brides wear white?

A: So they match all the other kitchen appliances

And yet all us chaps are supposed to laugh heartily at this sort of thing.

Sorry can’t get video to embed, click link to view Feminax Express

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Cheap Hair Cuts

 

Another uniformly grey & depressing day, weather’s miserable, the News just as bad.

So I am indebted to Roxanne for pointing this my way.

Reminds of the old Pearl & Dean cinema adverts 
“Johnson’s Auto’s only 300 yards from this cinema for the best in Used Cortina's and Escort’s”

 

 

H/t Roxanne and a link to AlterNet (views expressed there not necessarily those of Pavlov’s Cat)

Sunday Signage

click 4 larger

My friend Shaun spotted this one near where he lived in Tokyo. We came to the conclusion that it meant.

Beware!
This Area Troubled By Fat Kids Carrying Axes
Riding Frikkin Bears And Giving ‘The Finger’ To All

To our great disappointment, we found out the more prosaic explanation was that it was a warning to cyclists to take care as there was a children's play area ahead. (The fat kid is Kintaro from Japanese folklore)

Yesterday Was A Good Day

I was wrangling my Grandmother around Sainsbury’s yesterday and was delighted to find that Blue Dragon had released a Japanese Curry Sauce.

Those readers that know me personally will know that apart from seared meat an authentic Japanese Katsu Curry is possibly my most favourite food ever.

Unfortunately it is particularly difficult to get a decent one in the UK, the best I can recommend is at the Tokyo Diner off Leicester Square, London.

I cooked one up with the sauce last night (with additional cooked potato & carrot chunks) served over couple of bread-crumbed chicken escalope's and white rice.

It was very, very good.

(They also do a Katsu Curry Kit , that includes sauce, sticky rice & breadcrumbs)

Give it a try, If you don’t like ‘Curry’ It is a ‘Japanese Curry’ it bears no relation to Indian ‘Curry’

Also I found out I am to be an Uncle again, my brother and my lovely sister in law found out yesterday that they have finally been approved to adopt a young lad.

This has been after what seemed at times a Sisyphean ordeal that has lasted 3 years,

But fair play to them, they stuck with it and in the end Social Services could not find a reason to deny them the chance of providing an unwanted child a loving family and home.

So congratulations to them and I’m looking forward to doing all the nice things with the sprog and not having to take it home at the end of the day.

[Ed*: Shouldn't this be the other way round?]
[PC: Get to fuck]

*There is no Editor

Darwin Award Attempt Ends In Failure

Motorists in a flood-hit town have been risking their lives by using a bridge which is in danger of collapsing.

Calva Bridge in Workington has been closed to traffic since it was damaged by floodwater.

However, three vehicles were spotted driving across it on Thursday after occupants removed temporary barriers.

Personally I’d say let them get on with it, they’ve been told the bridge is condemned and could collapse at any moment. They can’t say they weren’t warned.

If they want to take that risk to save 45 minutes driving time who are we to stop them..

I can’t say it’s on my list of ‘Things That Are Worth Risking Death For’ but some people have different priorities.

And some people are also morons.

Poets Day (21)

He thought he saw an Elephant,
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
'At length I realise,' he said,
The bitterness of Life!'

He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
'Unless you leave this house,' he said,
"I'll send for the Police!'

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
'The one thing I regret,' he said,
'Is that it cannot speak!'

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
'If this should stay to dine,' he said,
'There won't be much for us!'

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
'Were I to swallow this,' he said,
'I should be very ill!'

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!'

He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
A Penny-Postage Stamp.
'You'd best be getting home,' he said:
'The nights are very damp!'

He thought he saw a Garden-Door
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
A Double Rule of Three:
'And all its mystery,' he said,
'Is clear as day to me!'

He thought he saw a Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
'Extinguishes all hope!'

The Mad Gardeners Song – Lewis Carroll

I’m Definitely Going To Hell

 

And you probably are too

You may understand why if you read This Story

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‘Good Character’ Means Nothing Anymore

It used to be that if you were up in front of the beak or giving witness, that both the prosecution or defence may describe you as a person of ‘Good Character’

It was a legal euphemism, in British law  I believe during trial you are not allowed to refer to a defendants previous convictions or even a witnesses.

So if you had not been convicted of any offence previously as a defendant or as a witness you were described as a person of  “Good Character”.

This was a nod and a wink to the Jury and Judge , that as a Defendant it was a first offence and if not mentioned  the Defendant had a record.

Or as a witness it meant they were an upstanding member of the community.

And yet here we are in 2009  when a defence brief describes someone  as

“Normally of good character', with 'very few offences' on his record.”

and what did this ‘normally of good character’ person do ?

Vile thug spits in pensioner's face and beats her after she bumps into him on

I would say that a person of 23 with 'very few offences' on his record.”  can never be described as being of Good Character,

To do so, is to insult the millions of us who don’t have a single offence on record.

To add further insult to the victim, it seems they are trying to make out that it’s not the poor darlings fault and he’s ‘sick’

‘we ordered psychiatric reports to be carried out to understand why he behaved towards an elderly woman in such an awful way,'

I’ll tell you why he behaved that way, because I bet in all his previous ‘very few offences’ He was never sufficiently punished to a degree that showed to him that his actions were ‘Wrong’. 

Still as he was shameless and stupid enough to pose for the local rag, hopefully someone will give him a good thumping.