Darwin Award Challenge Ruined By Rescue Services

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Connecticut native James Boyden's (17) attempt to win the 2009 Darwin Award was spoilt yesterday by interfering Firemen, Paramedics and passers-by.

James was well on his way to his award, after digging an 8ft deep hole in the sand and having it collapse in on him, when local Health & Safety nuts in the form of the emergency services called a halt to his challenge. After a 2 hour operation, a clearly upset James was dragged from his hole.

Local resident Ernest Shitkicker said:

"It's Big Government gone mad, it is every Americans inalienable right to remove themselves from the gene pool in as stupid a way as possible, it's in The Constitution (can we check this? Ed.) right next to 'The Right to Bear Arms' and the 'The Right to Believe In Angels and Alien Abduction' ( check this one as well. Ed.) "

He went on to add:

"I blame Obama, this would never have happened under George W. There's a man who knows what it's like to drive drunk at speed on a dark night"

The so called 'rescue' was completed in front of a large crowd expressing equal amounts of approval and disapproval.

Local Fire Chief Barry Hunsendeutsch III summed up by saying.

"We would never normally interfere with an Americans God given right to off themselves in an amusing way. But this was on a Public Beach and we were concerned over potential 'trip hazards' and subsequent litigation, so we had to act."

He added :

"If Americans wish to top themselves in a hilarious fashion, say by cleaning a chainsaw with your teeth, lighting a Bar-B-Q with 'homemade' Napalm or digging an enormous unsupported hole to search for leprechaun gold. Please do it on private property, we will be more than happy to come over afterwards, pick up the pieces and enjoy a good laugh."

Full story The Daily Mail
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