.
If it had been me, the conversation would have gone something like this.
Mr Pavlov's Cat then beats Library Assistant to Death with a hard back copy of Anathem by Neal Stephenson.
We really are through the looking glass now people.
*I refer to them as a Library Assistant as I guess that's who it was, rather than Librarian. Librarians are sensible people who have degrees and such and would hopefully have more sense than to espouse such bollocks.
Note: I am warming up to a post about how librarys have gone to shit.
.
If it had been me, the conversation would have gone something like this.
Mr Pavlov's Cat: "Hello, could I borrow a pair of scissors please? I'd like to cut up these leaflets that I've just photocopied on your machine over there"
Library Assistant*: "No you can't"
PC: "Perchance, could you explain why not?"
LA: "It's for Health and Safety reasons."
PC:"Come now Sir/Madam, I can assure you I been using scissors for many years now for the cutting and dividing of things with no injury to myself or others."
LA: "You might stab me with them."
PC: "Honestly, the thought never crossed my mind. But rules are rules I suppose, and if anyone can be a kiddy fiddler these days, it stands to reason we may all be potential homicidal maniacs. Better safe then sorry."
"In that case perhaps I could use that guillotine that I espy on the table over yonder?"
LA*: "No you can't"
PC: "Perchance again, could you explain why not?"
LA: "It's for Health and Safety reasons."
PC: "But it has no sharp points and the blade is adequately guarded, the risk of stabbage I would guess is infinitesimal"
LA:" True, but you might hit me over the head with it"
PC:"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!!"
LA:" Sir, you are being abusive and bullying and I have a right to work without being subject to abuse. Not only that, your use of the word 'insane' may upset any of our clients stroke customers who happen to suffer or know someone who suffers or suffered from mental illness. As such after calling the Police to charge you with assault, I will be reporting you to The Diversity & Equality Officer and have you banned from ALL council services and offices once you are released from prison. "
"By the way that's £1.50 for the photocopies"
Mr Pavlov's Cat then beats Library Assistant to Death with a hard back copy of Anathem by Neal Stephenson.
We really are through the looking glass now people.
*I refer to them as a Library Assistant as I guess that's who it was, rather than Librarian. Librarians are sensible people who have degrees and such and would hopefully have more sense than to espouse such bollocks.
Note: I am warming up to a post about how librarys have gone to shit.
No Win No Fee Lawyer: So you'd like to claim for an injury?
ReplyDeleteLibrary Assistant: Yes, I received stab wounds at work.
NWNFL: And how did this happen (gleefully rubbing hands together, pound signs in eyes)?
LA: A Woman approached me and started stabbing me
NWNFL: What did she use to stab you?
LA: Some scissors that I'd lent to her a few minutes previously
NWNFL: She used a weapon that you'd supplied to her?
LA: If you put it like that then I suppose yes she did
NWNFL: Goodbye!