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Further to my previous post on the rise of animal attacks comes this story from the African veldt
Elephant Attack Man Played Dead
Further to my previous post on the rise of animal attacks comes this story from the African veldt
Elephant Attack Man Played Dead
"A man from West Yorkshire was gored by an elephant while holidaying in Kenya"Nasty
"They saw the animal which then disappeared into bushes.
"This noise started behind the bush and it just came running out, just charging out at me basically", Mr Sykes said.
The group fled but the elephant followed Mr Sykes.
It had probably gone for a shit, I'd be pissed off as well if I'd just retired for some 'me time' with the QI Book of Interesting Facts and a bunch of people burst in and tried to take pictures.
"It was really strange, lots of decisions were being made in my head really quickly", he said.
I bet they were, along the lines of "Do I piss or shit myself first? or both together?"
"I decided to run off to the side and start zig zagging because with the elephant being larger it can't turn as quick as a human."Unfortunately for him a completely bollocks decision though, he needs to watch a few more National Geographic specials. Elephants are quick when they want to be, surprisingly nimble and can turn on a sixpence when required, so in fact it just slowed him down and allowed the elephant to catch him.
Pedants Bit:
"During the attack the elephant pierced Mr Sykes's leg, causing him to lose five pints of blood"Given that the generally accepted average for volume of blood in an adult human is 10 pints and losing between 4 and 5 pints causes death if not immediately replaced with some sort of blood volume expander. Do they actually mean they had to put 5 pints into him whilst trying to stop the bleeding in hospital. In which case technically he did 'lose' 5 pints, but as it was being continually replaced the quote is incorrect. A small, petty point, but I'm a small petty man.
Anyway given the increasing amount of attacks by these homicidal herbivores and rampaging ruminants, should we really be breeding enormous frikkin horses that look like they could kick the turret off a Main Battle Tank .
click for even larger More picture of the huge horse at The Daily Mail
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"I'd be pissed off as well if I'd just retired for some 'me time' with the QI Book of Interesting Facts and a bunch of people burst in and tried to take pictures"
ReplyDeleteUnderstandably so, but you wouldn't pick one at random, chase him down and gore him would you.
If only 'cos you had your kegs around your ankles...
Animals can be surprisingly fastidious about such matters. Waiting for a train, I idly watched the cat who is in charge of the station car park going about its duties. It completed its tour of inspection and came to a halt on the grassy perimeter of the car park, about 10 feet from where I stood. A small hole was dug in preparation for the ritual of ablution as I continued to watch proceedings.
ReplyDeleteAt this point the cat looked up and gave me a very direct and prolonged stare. Cats can't exactly manage very much in the way of facial expression, but if the animal had been granted the power of speech and spoken the words, "Do you mind? Can I have a bit of privacy here?", the meaning couldn't have been clearer. I politely averted my gaze.
Edwin, I have never seen a more perfect description of the behaviour of my old cat. In fact if you did not take the hint and continue to stare impolitlely he would shuffle off affecting the gait known to all as 'one in the bomb-bay' for a bit more seclusion.
ReplyDeleteEr, yes, we should be breeding tank-busting horses, cos thats all we'll be able to afford to supply our soldiers with soon!
ReplyDeleteOnce more into the breach!
Delphius - Well put, except when the MOD and Government get through with it, they would have 5 legs all moving in different directions, 3 eyes, be the size of a labrador, not be able to carry anything without it's back breaking and faint at loud noises.
ReplyDeleteIt will cost 10 times as much as estimated and not be ready for service till 2035
To quote the old saw " A Camel is a Horse designed by committee"
Oh these are strange days we love in, they are that.
ReplyDeleteElephants are quick when they want to be, surprisingly nimble and can turn on a sixpence when required, so in fact it just slowed him down and allowed the elephant to catch him.
ReplyDelete