The constant hectoring, the nannying, the bullying, the shouting.
Can we not just be left to get on with our lives as we see fit.
I had to purchase a new keyboard yesterday, as there was a spillage incident at the weekend (wash your minds out you filthy bastards) It was red wine I'll have you know.
It seemed to have dried out OK, but the bottom keys started sticking, but it was 6 years old anyway, so time for a replacement.
So I purchase said keyboard (one of the many advantages of a desk top over a laptop, £12.99 for a keyboard rather than £500+ for a new lap top)
I open the box and take out the plastic wrapped keyboard and what the first thing that greets me wrapped around the USB cable
click for larger
WTF it's a keyboard, what sort of health hazard could there be?
If I press the wrong keys will frikking lasers shoot into my eyes or spikes shoot into my palms if I try and access the Girls Aloud website again.
And what a warning it is, it nearly takes up the whole width of the base.
click for insanity
In Douglas Adams book ‘So Long’ And Thanks For All The Fish’. Arthur Dent goes to visit Wonko The Sane a man who declared that the world had gone insane when he read the instructions on ‘How To Use A Tooth-Pick’ on a packet of tooth-picks. He then builds a house inside out to keep the inmates comfortable.
I’m sort of feeling how Wonko must have felt right about now.
.
Well bugger me, I must be getting old and my eyes are letting me down. I only purchased a keyboard a couple of months ago and what do you know, it has the same warning. It's a Microsoft keyboard.
ReplyDeleteFunny though, I feel constant pains on my backside because I have to sit whilst using my computer keyboard so I'll try standing on one leg while balancing my ergonomic keyboard on the other. The warning is begining to make sense now. Thanks nanny, now on to the next threat to mankind, biscuits.
It is indeed an Microsoft Keyboard, maybe it's a Septic thing.
ReplyDeleteBugger is I realise how knacked the keyboard actually was and wondering if a new mouse is due as well.
"It seemed to have dried out OK, but the bottom keys started sticking,..."
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. I once did that with Benedictine, or Cointreau, or some other sticky drink. At Christmas.
Try finding a shop open at Christmas to sell you a new keyboard in a hurry!
That's why I have a steam powered keyboard and a wired mouse in the loft.
ReplyDelete(That's a computer mouse and not a small rodent strung out on Crystal Meth in case you were wondering)
Certainly came in handy when the PC decided it wasn't going to recognise any USB devices
(I think it's from about 1988 it's like working an electric typewriter)
Yeah that bugs the fuck out of me. If people are dumb enough to hurt themselves with basic stuff like keyboards and are then dumb enough to sue (even if it does work they're still dumb bastards) then they should be dragged outside and beaten for spoiling it for the rest of us who just like to muck on it.
ReplyDeleteThat said I turned the electricity off in my house last night being naughty (not that kind of naughty) with a toaster.