Tuesday, 30 June 2009
From The Evening Standard.
Sir George Young, Conservative chairman of the Standards and Privileges Committee, tabled an amendment to the Bill removing the clause on the code of conduct.
He believes that giving legal force to the code of conduct could "fetter MPs' discretion" in dealing with their constituents' concerns. He added: "I want to be held accountable to the ballot-box, not to the courts, for what I do as an MP."
You ginomous cock end. Everyone should be accountable to the courts and the law of the land, even the Queen can be made to answer to the law.
But no , not you because some how you're better than us, because a few thousand people voted that you were the least worst candidate of the lot ( only because 'none of the above' wasn't an option )
I have to stop now as I think I'm having an aneurysm , I hope some more widely read blogs pick up on this.
All I can say is, thank fuck he wasn't elected Speaker
Monday, 29 June 2009
But in doing so I came across the pictures of these handsome chaps, the photo's were taken in a town called Mashiko, Japan,
It is famous for it's pottery and there are lots of independent potters shops to look in and some splendid examples of Mashiko-ware can be had, if that's your bag.
What they also make are these chaps, thousands and thousands of them, all over the town. they are called Tanuki which is Japanese for a Raccoon Dog . The Tanuki is considered a sort of patron spirit of the restaurant, bar trade and you will find him outside these establishments all over Japan welcoming visitors.
He's shown with an empty Sake bottle in one hand, an IOU in the other and a fat stomach.
And what got my attention unfeasibly large testicles , in fact legend has it his scrotum can cover 8 tatami mats. Oh my the japes he gets up to with his enormous balls are myriad
The children even sing songs about him.
there isn't even any wind
but still go swing-swing-swing."
But enough wittering, follow the links if you'd like to know more. So to my point, if there is one.
The massive Tanuki pictured above* is one of the first things visitors to the town see if they arrive by train or car ( it is on the edge of the main car park, and all the tourist buses off load here as well). You look at it, do a double take and then just smile and think "Well this must be a pretty cool town."
So my feelings are perhaps, sod the Angel of the North or the White Horse of Kent, lets every town have a huge statue of a cartoon animal with massive bollocks.
Then perhaps we wouldn't take everything so seriously. I know I wouldn't.
* I have left the Ex-bitch in the picture purely for scale (5'5'') but have carefully obscured her face, in case the evil gets out out.
Building work announced for Westminster Abbey
What is it with these people, that they can't leave anything alone . I realise that the type of person who rises to these positions are vain glorious fools who think they know better than everyone else. Then once they have done their 'Doing Good'
They look around at our great buildings and monuments and feel they deserve something similar, to seal their legacy, 'make their mark' and show they actually existed outside of their court of lickspittles, fuckwits and dancing fools.
They can't have a new one ( I mean face it, who would put up a statue or monument to any of the fuck wits we've had since WW2, I think even Churchill was short changed by the little men out of spite that they could never measure up, he should be in St Paul's between Nelson and The Duke of Wellington.)
So if they can, they clear away the old, to put up their iconic buildings designed by architects of same vain glorious bent as themselves. Buildings they will never try work in or try to let (Gherkin), buildings that will seem like mayflies to St Paul's , Westminster Abbey, The Monument, Nelson's Column.
If they can't get rid of them, they try to block them from view, they are old, we are new, you must listen to us, then they get upset when we tell them to fuck off.
They hate Portland Stone, Bath Stone, they hate sweeping crescents, they hate high ceilings and Georgian terraces, they hate medieval craftsmanship because it's better than they could do themselves.
So if they can't get a new building or a monument, what's next, additions: a new wing of a museum, a new court inside a museum ( where control was so slack they didn't realise they were using the wrong fucking stone until it was finished, or did they?) or perhaps a new rich cunts estate next to the Royal Hospital whose design suggests that the architect would actually really have liked to go and piss on Wren's grave 24/7.
Can somebody tell me why architects hate Christopher Wren so much?
So now they want to put a 'corona' ( this is a crown like structure and not a pissy beer) on top of Westminster Abbey.
No! leave it the fuck alone, you interfering meddling fools. I am no opponent for change, but change for the sake of change is stupid or to some how 'mark your place' is akin to carving your initials on Stonehenge.
The phrase is I believe "We are only seeing so far, because we are standing on the shoulders of giants" Well you're not, you are standing at their feet poking them with toothpicks, they do not even notice you and you would not like it if they did.
Got a bit carried away there, add something I feel strongly about to a bout of depression, not a good combination.
Re-reading the article, it seems this is not a done deal.
The Dean said "I don't think we would go against the bulk of public opinion. If there was an adverse reaction, I expect we would drop it."
So it's possibly this was only a PR exercise to get a reaction and get The Abbey back in the news, during the summer holidays and tourist season.
If it was "You Bastards"
Sunday, 28 June 2009
Now I know that will have the anti-globalisation Guardianistas spitting out their fair trade coffee in their bijou little cafes in East Dulwich.
But I find a Big Mac tasty and filling, not for everyday, not even every week, but every now and then. Like this evening , I really couldn't be arsed to cook myself something, so Maccy D's it was and I enjoyed it.
I can also add that when you're in a new country, particularly one in which you can neither speak or even read the language, there is something comforting about the Golden Arches , a Big Mac is a Big Mac in Japanese, Cantonese, Mandarin or Thai and can save one from starvation on the first few days in country.
It also seems to be the case that in certain countries, where restaurant hygiene is not perhaps to the standard you might expect back 'home' ( I won't name them, but let's just say you won't see any pork or bacon on the menu's ) . The franchise enforced standards of cleanliness and hygiene can seem a large step above local eateries ( and no one wants diarrhea in a wet suit.)
Sorry for the mundane post, but the Black Dog (©Winston Churchill) has come to visit and will be a few days before I can shake it off.
Saturday, 27 June 2009
Thursday, 25 June 2009
General sightseeing will be done , he always likes to look in on the National Portrait Gallery,
Where as I'm looking forward to going to the new Photographers Gallery
Beers will probably be drunk along the way and I hope I can keep him off the Stella.
If it's not too hot, we will probably go to The Tokyo Diner for lunch, for the most authentic Katsu Curry outside of Japan.
Before wending our way to London Bridge and possibly a hostelry closer to home.
It should be a good day and I'm looking forward to seeing all the young ladies in their summer wear and 'over the shoulder bolder holders' © Mark & Lard. ( The one thing I miss about working in town)
So if you see two grown men looking like gone to seed bouncers, stumbling around the galleries of London, it's probably Pavlov's Cat and his brother on their jolly boys outing.
In the case I would like to put forward a woman who sued Slough council for libel after she was labelled 'potentially violent' for daring to complain strongly about the way she was treated when trying to report ant-social behaviour to the councils anti-social behaviour officer .
It's libel because they entered her on a so called 'Violent Persons Register' and disseminated an email informing people of such. This 'Violent Persons Register' is nothing to do with the police or any previous criminal acts. Purely if a council officer believes someone has been 'violent' towards them by either word or deed, they can be placed on this register and I assume find great difficulty in accessing council services from then on. As we all now know the old adage 'words will never hurt me' no longer applies and even a manager telling an employee that they have done a job wrong can be considered bullying, if care is not taken to protect the little flowers feelings ( I know first hand)
So she sued and won, the council has to pay her £14,000 damages and all the costs, the judge has also said a further £50,000 must be set aside to cover any appeals.
So the council has to pay, not the manager, not the anti-social behaviour rep, the council.
But the council has no money of it's own only what it gets from the local council taxpayer. So in fact it is the council taxpayer who is losing out to the tune of probably £100,000 in services they have already paid for.
Where is the accountability? I have only ever worked in the private sector, but I know that even if my company backed me in court, should a guilty verdict be returned against the company, that would be considered gross misconduct as I would have acted or condoned an act considered now illegal. My feet would not touch the ground.
But what will happen to these snivelling jobsworths, I would bet the precise measure of FUCK ALL, and the ability to go on fucking up other peoples lives once 'lessons had been learned'
I have often wondered why councils let these cases go on to court, when surely they take legal advice that tells them that they haven't got a hope, I used to think it was a robust defence of their employees.
But now I realise, when you're playing and paying with Other Peoples Money. Win or Lose you never lose.
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
"I'll Leave Britain for a million pounds" says everyone
In fact £500,000 would do it for me and I'll sign any promise you like that I won't come back.
H/T From the always superlative The Daily Mash
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Passengers Asked To Balance Plane.
Now you've got to ask yourself, why would the pilot say that if it was not, He's not being forced at gunpoint to fly the plane, he gets paid whether he flies the plane or not, in fact he has as much chance of dying if it crashes as you do. Commercial pilots as a rule are exceptionally well trained, sensible, cautious people. More so in fact than bus drivers, train drivers and any number of others in whose life you put your hands each day.
If it was not safe to fly, he would not fly, end of , shut the fuck up.
And I thought Geordie's were supposed to be tough, ha!
I also share two anecdotes about plane balancing;
I used to fly backwards & forwards to Japan quite a bit, on one trip approaching Narita, the steward came back to me a whispered, "If you look out the window to your left, there's a great view of Mt Fuji" and it was, perfect snow capped cone, poking above the cloud layer, with a back drop of a red sunrise, magical , a sight never to forget.
On the pre-landing toilet trip, I thanked the steward and asked why the pilot didn't announce it.
He told me they used to, but everyone particularly the Japanese on board, would rush to the left side of the plane at once, causing the pilot to make some harsh flight control adjustments to keep level, so for safeties sake they thought it best to discontinue it and just give a discreet heads up to those they thought might appreciate it.
Which was nice.
The other time, myself and Ex-bitch , booked a helicopter flight over the Volcano National Park on Hawaii. It was a five person helicopter , pilot , four passengers. So us and an American couple.
Before the flight you had to stand on a set of old time parcel scales, so the pilot could balance out the seating. The Ex-bitch and the American lady did not want to do this, but the pilot said he couldn't do it by eye and it was important not only for balance, but also to calculate his flying time, you did not want to run out of fuel over a lava field.
So they did, both were found to be well over their claimed weight, ha ( fat arsed cow) .
Anyway, all be it I am a bit husky , I was lighter than both the Americans, so I was placed between them in the middle of the back seat, while the fat arsed EX sat up front with the pilot.
I saw FUCK ALL
On a lighter note, after we had landed, I complained to the EX and said I wanted to do it again, when we explained to the company, they gave us a 50% discount for the next day as they had no bookings in one slot and it just the two of us. Being as weight wasn't an issue, I sat up front.
It was FANTASTIC.
As we had heard all the spiel the day before, we just chatted to the pilot and he told us about how he started as a Medevac pilot in Vietnam and how he ran trips for former GI's back to Nam, to try and heal old wounds and about his life on the islands, I swear he took us lower & faster than we were supposed to go, it was one of the best hours I've ever had.
Monday, 22 June 2009
Council execs' £500K after falling out with leader
The Tory opposition claim Mr Rahman has engineered the ousting of the chief executive to bring in his ally, Lutfur Rahman Ali. Despite the almost identical names they are not related.
I bet they are related in the only way that counts these days, let's take a look at his 'cabinet '
Councillor A M Ohid Ahmed (East India and Lansbury)
Councillor Rofique Uddin Ahmed (Mile End and Globe Town)
Councillor Anwara Ali (Bow West)
Councillor Abdul Asad (Whitechapel)
Councillor Marc Francis (Bow East)
Councillor Rania Khan (Bromley by Bow)
Councillor Joshua Peck (Bow West)
Councillor Lutfur Rahman (Spitalfields and Banglatown)
Councillor Oliur Rahman (St. Dunstan's and Stepney Green)
Councillor Abdal Ullah (St. Dunstan's and Stepney Green)
Oh look there's an Uddin in there, any relation to the Baroness?
You can draw your own conclusions , I have mine and they are nothing to do with 'race'
Sunday, 21 June 2009
But sometimes it's hard not to feel a little schadenfreude.
MP Allegedly Assaulted in Boscome.
Bournemouth East MP Tobias Ellwood was said to have been punched in the head by youths
Bournemouth East MP holds meeting to explain his expenses
A Bournemouth MP has become the latest to publish details of his expense claims, including a £1,100 bed and mattress and almost £1,000 worth of furnishings.
Maybe once he's had a nice lie down in that lovely new bed WE PAID FOR , he'll feel a bit better.
Now if we can only give the other 645 a good punching in the head, may be they'll start to listen.
* except WW2 Which even the most anti-war would probably agree was 'a good thing'
Saturday, 20 June 2009
"Iranian politics is incredibly complicated, but the short answer is, they both do," says expert
Shamelessly stolen from The Daily Mash
Bike Shed CCTV Camera Stolen
a crime-cutting CCTV camera was stolen.
It didn't cut that crime did it ?
The camera was stolen from the station in Elmstead Lane, Chislehurst, between 11.30pm on May 31 and 1am on June 1.
Surely the tape would show when the feed went off line and give a more precise time? or is it not recorded, in which case what fucking use is it? Like all the other CCTV cameras.
"The man is described as white and in his early twenties. He was topless and wearing a trilby hat.”
Topless, not shirtless and why the emphasis on a 'trilby' hat. Is it to differentiate between all the other topless hat wearers that were around at that time?
In addition, I would be embarrassed to admit my CCTV camera was stolen and not put up a poster proclaiming the fact and also letting the local pond life know the area was no longer covered.
Friday, 19 June 2009
Was the drink involved? Where was this fight , pub car park, outside McDonalds, in the High Street?
Would Joanna's longer reach have negated the fighting skills of the gallant hillside warrior?
But no, it was all rather a let down.
Remark Lead To Lumley Gurkha Fight
I really should get out more.
Thursday, 18 June 2009
For those that are looking for work or soon to be, here's a handy guide to understanding those job adverts
What they say: Competitive Salary
What they mean: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
What they say: Join our fast-paced team
What they mean: We have no time to train you.
What they say: VP entry level
What they mean: Even the Post Boy is a VP, it looks better on business cards.
What they say: 3 years experience essential
What they mean: Let someone else train you.
What they say: Must be Self-Motivated.
What they mean: Management doesn’t show up till 11.00 AM, if at all.
What they say: Casual work atmosphere
What they mean: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
What they say: Must be deadline oriented
What they mean: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
What they say: Some overtime required
What they mean: Some overtime required every night and some overtime required every weekend.
What they say: Duties will vary
What they mean: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
What they say: Career-minded
What they mean: Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
What they say: No phone calls please.
What they mean: We've filled the job internally; our call for CV's is just a legal formality.
What they say: Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience
What they mean: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
What they say: Requires team leadership skills
What they mean: You'll have all the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
What they say: Must have good communication skills
What they mean: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it
What they say: Only successful applicants will be contacted.
What they mean: There never was a job; we just wanted to see who was out there and if they were better than our current mouth-breathers
What they say: Closing Date 31st XXXXX
What they mean: The job has already gone to a friend, nephew, niece, cousin or a bloke from the pub but HR says we have to advertise
What they say: Good presentation skills required.
What they mean: Total public humiliation will be a regular feature as will be made to stand at front of room with no warning and made to talk on subject you know nothing about for 10 minutes.
What they say: Ability to multitask
What they mean: Must be able to juggle photocopying, making tea and licking boss’s boots. Oh and smile whilst you are doing it!
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
The above is the latest TV spot for the new SEAT Leon .
Like most car adverts, it is by turns both patronising and nauseating, the buyer asks questions and the salesmen responds with a series of gestures and motoring noises.
The one thing the buyer doesn't ask is "Why is the steering wheel on THE WRONG FUCKING SIDE?"
Now this is a British advert, shot for the British market with British actors. Not one of those badly dubbed glitzy Global/Euro adverts where they flip the film to make it appear to be RH drive or just ignore it all together.
Now I know the car industry is in big trouble, but are you telling me they are waiting to see how many orders they get from the UK, before they start building RH drive models.
Or being as it's a Euro company are they just readying us for the day after they've forced the Euro currency on us, when the EC demands we swap to driving on the right in the interest of European harmony.
I'll get my tinfoil hat.
but no, it's an actual zebra.
Zebra collision inquest adjourned
I want to know more , how did this collision come about? what were the speeds involved? don't leave us hanging.
Although after reading the story a better headline would be:
Whale, Zebra Collide! Woman Dies!
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
2) Boris commissions ( pays for with your money) a report into an amnesty for illegal immigrants
3) Report declares that an amnesty would be a good thing
Amnesty for illegals would bring boost
What don't they understand about 'illegal' it means against the law, forget how insulting it is to people who have jumped through hoops and crawled over bureaucratic broken glass to arrive in the correct way, who pay taxes and contribute. Have they no fucking idea of the public feeling on legal mass immigration at the moment, let alone giving a free pass, to those that deliberately circumvented the law of the land.
Meanwhile people like Bella Gerens , who arrived in the proper way , had a job to go to, pays taxes, is a teacher and a valued addition to our country. She now risks being tossed out due to arbitrary changes in the law.
I surely hope somebody fisks this report and highlights the bits they don't want you to know.
Monday, 15 June 2009
I girded myself this weekend to finally start sorting out my photo's and removing the ones with or connected to the Ex-bitch. Previously this action has been curtailed by depression and nausea. I don't delete them, after all, it happened, we were together, and you can't change history. I look on it as a learning experience, if only the lessons hadn't been so expensive and in the end brutal. I just want to remove them into another folder that can be filed away, so that when I go browsing I am not confronted with her hateful visage all the time.
Any how that's by the by , the reason for this post, is that I came across this image of the above 'objet d'art'. I found it in a gift shop near The Kegon Falls, Nikko, Japan, if I recall it cost the princely sum of ¥750 about £5.00 at the time.
The question is, I find it funny, does that make me a racist?
Am I laughing at the stereotypical depiction of black people, then yes it probably does make me racist.
Am I laughing at the pure kitchness of the object, then I would say no.
Am I laughing at the fact that in these enlightened times a Japanese gift shop, still considers such an item worthy of display and sale. Then I should imagine that yes that is racist against the Japanese as I am imposing my culture on theirs and to the Righteous, that is a complete no-no.
I am in a quandary, but I still find it very funny
Sunday, 14 June 2009
And much like the great explorer Major Burley feel it can only be cured by vast amounts of medical Champagne.
Ref: The Ascent of Rum Doodle by WE Bowman
I will always be grateful to Mr Bowman for introducing the word 'lassitude' into my vocabulary, from what is still one of the funniest books I've ever read.
1. weariness of body or mind from strain, oppressive climate, etc.; lack of energy; listlessness; languor.
2. a condition of indolent indifference: the pleasant lassitude of the warm summer afternoon.
Saturday, 13 June 2009
by Carol Ann Duffy
How it makes of your face a stone
that aches to weep, of your heart a fist,
clenched or thumping, sweating blood, of your tongue
an iron latch with no door. How it makes of your right hand
a gauntlet, a glove-puppet of the left, of your laugh
a dry leaf blowing in the wind, of your desert island discs
hiss hiss hiss, makes of the words on your lips dice
that can throw no six. How it takes the breath
away, the piss, makes of your kiss a dropped pound coin,
makes of your promises latin, gibberish, feedback, static,
of your hair a wig, of your gait a plankwalk. How it says this –
politics – to your education education education; shouts this –
Politics! – to your health and wealth; how it roars, to your
conscience moral compass truth, POLITICS POLITICS POLITICS.
h/t The Guardian
It's something we still do well, pageantry, history, a celebration of our troops and their illustrious forebears, full of patriotism and national pride.
How our present overlords must hate it, I can see Gordon and his cabal of troughing scum wincing as the troops march past. It must have been terrible for them in the Cabinet this week, listening to the bands practice and the troops drilling just down the road, it must have been like in the Fuhrer Bunker listening to the Russian bombs fall on Berlin.
I've never understood why the Left hate the military so much, so we see our troops sent in harms way with inadequate kit and substandard vehicles, all decided by a committee who couldn't give a shit, apart from making sure, our Euro partners get the contracts.
Just remember Gordon when the British people do rise up, those self same troops, who you will call on to protect you and point their guns at their own countrymen, be sure they will remember you and your deeds.
And I'm not letting the Tory's off either. Call Me Dave has shown no love for the military either, his shadow ministers and MP's have been useless in Defence Committee, with the exception of Mrs Winterton.( Example: by the time of the Major Govt, we would have been unable to mount an expedition the same as the Falklands only 10 years previously, such had been the gutting of the armed services.)
So remember you politicians , you lords & ladies and lickspittle toadies.
“We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.”
I know I do.
UPDATE 9:08 BST Britsh Soldier dies in Afghan Blast
Friday, 12 June 2009
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Watchdog to probe Malik complaint.
He was hastily returned to government after being cleared by the report that nobody was allowed to see, only Gordon. So that was alright, end of chapter , draw the curtains , nothing to see here.
But it seems some people just won't let it lie.
Sunlight Centre for Open Politics
Good luck to them, lets hope the odious turd gets his just desserts this time.
or to use his own popular phase 'Inshallah'
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
"A hate filled individual"
Man Jailed For Murdering Sisters
Two things spring to mind from this report however.
"He originally arrived in the UK as an Iraqi asylum seeker, but had told friends he was Moroccan".
So someone else playing the asylum card allowed to remain, it doesn't report it, but I can't believe someone who used this level of violence was unknown to the police.
In mitigation, defence barrister Michael Bromley-Martin QC told the court Ali had led a difficult life before his arrival in Britain in 1999 and called him a "troubled, if not damaged" man.
WTF! This not only insults the court, but insults all those who have had difficult lives, both here and overseas, that don't go on and savagely murder people.
At least he got 34 years, But although not being a fan of vigilante justice, I would have no problem flying him to Algeria and handing him over to the girls extended family, I'm sure their aunts could come up with something suitably creative.
Is this true? If so I wonder how it stacks up against what has happened in the UK.
But then again Gordon never promised to save any jobs when he was pissing our money away, just to save the banks. So can't catch him there.
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
It appears that certain of the Righteous Taff's are upset that Welsh language programming has been dropping on ITV Wales.
So they want to give them £25mio of public money to produce more programs of people sounding like they are gargling phlegm.
Now ITV Wales is a commercial broadcaster , it makes its money by selling advertising time during programmes, now the more people that watch said programmes, the more they can charge.
If your programmes are crap, nobody will watch and advertisers won't pay you to advertise to 3 people and a sheep. ( Just look at the Freeview channels after 11pm, all ads for mobile chat lines and call in casinos). So I guess ITV Wales has just been doing the sensible thing and dropping the programmes nobody watches for those that they do, a sensible business decision.
Now what gets my goat ( or sheep if you will ). We already fund BBC Wales through public money ( the licence fee) and S4C is a Welsh channel, boyo. Why on earth should the public fund a commercial enterprise that has already adjusted its business model to ensure it remains viable.
It really does just beggar belief how many special interest groups still have their fucking hands out for our cash even in the midst of a recession.