Further to my previous post on the rise of animal attacks comes this story from the African veldt
Elephant Attack Man Played Dead
"A man from West Yorkshire was gored by an elephant while holidaying in Kenya"Nasty
"They saw the animal which then disappeared into bushes.
"This noise started behind the bush and it just came running out, just charging out at me basically", Mr Sykes said.
The group fled but the elephant followed Mr Sykes.
It had probably gone for a shit, I'd be pissed off as well if I'd just retired for some 'me time' with the QI Book of Interesting Facts and a bunch of people burst in and tried to take pictures.
"It was really strange, lots of decisions were being made in my head really quickly", he said.
I bet they were, along the lines of "Do I piss or shit myself first? or both together?"
"I decided to run off to the side and start zig zagging because with the elephant being larger it can't turn as quick as a human."Unfortunately for him a completely bollocks decision though, he needs to watch a few more National Geographic specials. Elephants are quick when they want to be, surprisingly nimble and can turn on a sixpence when required, so in fact it just slowed him down and allowed the elephant to catch him.
"During the attack the elephant pierced Mr Sykes's leg, causing him to lose five pints of blood"Given that the generally accepted average for volume of blood in an adult human is 10 pints and losing between 4 and 5 pints causes death if not immediately replaced with some sort of blood volume expander. Do they actually mean they had to put 5 pints into him whilst trying to stop the bleeding in hospital. In which case technically he did 'lose' 5 pints, but as it was being continually replaced the quote is incorrect. A small, petty point, but I'm a small petty man.
Anyway given the increasing amount of attacks by these homicidal herbivores and rampaging ruminants, should we really be breeding enormous frikkin horses that look like they could kick the turret off a Main Battle Tank .
More picture of the huge horse at The Daily Mail