If You Go Down In The Woods Today

You’d better not be a bear.

Grizzly bear kills 70-year-old walker just hours after it was tagged with a tracking device and is then shot dead for being a bear and doing bear stuff.

Now I’m normally on the side of the animals in situations like this (except those evil bastard cows, who deserve all they get).

But this story really makes me weep for the bear.

So imagine you’re a Grizzly Bear, wandering the forest, eating berries, roots, grubs and stuff. Doing all sort of beary stuff (which I am sure involves shitting at some point if the old saw is to be believed).

Then suddenly, some whirring thing comes out of the sky and begins to chase you around. (In an earlier version it said the bear was originally darted from a helicopter)

You’re then shot in the arse with a big fuck off dart (which probably stings a tad) and pumped full of enough ketamine to drop a, well a bear.

Whilst unconscious, you’re prodded, measured, manhandled and anal probed as well for all I know.

You are then fitted with a delightful fashion accessory, that you didn’t ask for and can’t take off.

On waking up, you’re bruised, sore, disorientated and feeling like you’ve been on a five day bender with Richard Harris, Richard Burton and Oliver Reed.

I defy anyone not to feel a little tetchy.

So along comes Mr Erwin Evert, after ignoring all the signs that said that pissed off bears might be around.

Now we’ll never know what passed between them, maybe harsh words were said, insults given and received, maybe blows were exchanged. But who threw the first punch?

However we all know the result though, at the end of it, Mr Evert lay dead.

Well 70 year old man vs. grumpy Grizzly, no contest really.

Well bear kills man, what’s a Park Ranger to do?

Why use the self same tracking device you just fitted to said bear in the name of conservation, track it down from a helicopter, chase it through the forest and shoot it dead.

Bastards

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H/t Mr Pavlov’s Cat’s Brother

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