Damn, That’s Lovely

 

I want one, can you imagine showing it to a small child (or even a large adult) and watching their eyes light up.

Rainbow In Your Hand

By  Masa-Ka

This book started as a personal project in summer 2007, and was soon published from a Japanese bookstore "Utrecht". It's a flipbook, but rather than seeing animation, it creates a 3D rainbow in your hand. Since being published it has been featured on Japanese TV, Newspapers, major news & blogsites like yahoo news, coolhunting and fffffound. This book won this years NY ADC silver cube.

h/t www.BuzzFeed.com

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If You Say So Mr Zhihang

The photographer and TV personality Ou Zhihang crisscrossed China photographing himself doing push-ups naked at sites that have hit the headlines

Ou Zhihang explained that he created this series because news passes, while art lasts forever

’I want the world to understand China through these pictures.’

I personally think it says more about Mr Zhihang than it does China, but them again I don’t ‘get’ most modern art.

click images for larger buttocks if that’s your thing

 

If you want more pictures of a naked Chinaman’s arse (and some other possibly better photo’s click here  Times Online Photo Gallery.

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With All Thine Offerings Thou Shalt Offer Salt*

The ever excellent JuliaM points out the latest cock-waffling job justification from CASH (Consensus Action on Salt and Health)

Leg Iron also gives them a pounding

CASH in case you didn’t know is a classic example of a Fake Charity

I’m not going to go into the article as The Ambush Predator and The Underdog do that admirably. But one thing Julia did say got me to thinking.

“They're going to have a conniption when they see what Hollywood has named one of its proposed summer blockbusters...”

In which case let’s hope someone sends them on a fact finding tour to Japan. Whilst there they might go to Shibuya and should their wanderings take them in the direction of Yoyogi Park, they might come across the below.

Then hopefully their heads might explode in Righteous apoplexy.

click images for larger

I have no idea who the Indian gentleman in his tobacco leaf kilt and chapeau is..
(I am also intrigued by the addition of the suitcase)

“But” I hear you cry “Won’t somebody think of the cheeeeldren”

Well actually they have. They get cheap rates.

Tobacco & Salt Museum

General admission fees:

Single, or in groups of 20 or more
Adults and students over high-school level: single 100yen (groups 50yen per person)
School pupils to high-school level: single 50yen (groups 20yen per person)

Excellent

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*Leviticus 2:13

Poets Day (34)

Ah God! to see the branches stir
Across the moon at Grantchester!
To smell the thrilling-sweet and rotten
Unforgettable, unforgotten
River-smell, and hear the breeze
Sobbing in the little trees.
Say, do the elm-clumps greatly stand
Still guardians of that holy land?
The chestnuts shade, in reverend dream,
The yet unacademic stream?
Is dawn a secret shy and cold
Anadyomene, silver-gold?
And sunset still a golden sea
From Haslingfield to Madingley?
And after, ere the night is born,
Do hares come out about the corn?
Oh, is the water sweet and cool,
Gentle and brown, above the pool?
And laughs the immortal river still
Under the mill, under the mill?
Say, is there Beauty yet to find?
And Certainty? and Quiet kind?
Deep meadows yet, for to forget
The lies, and truths, and pain?... oh! yet
Stands the Church clock at ten to three?
And is there honey still for tea?

Excerpt from The Old Vicarage, Grantchester by Rupert Brooke

Tripping The Flight Fantastic

New Zealand company to make personal jet packs

Well it’s no flying car. But it’s a start, well done chaps.

However what’s the betting that after today’s news. there are groups of grey men and women, now huddling in grey rooms in the CAA, the DoHS, DVLA etc.

Working out how they can restrict, ban, licence and kill this stone dead before it can get off the ground (sorry).

It’ll go the way of the Segway, motorised skateboard, unrestricted electric bikes etc.

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Gone To My ‘Happy Place’

 

Days of rain,  everybody miserable, vomiting virus going round the office, only a matter of time before it reaches me.

So excuse me for the light posting, I’ve retreated to my photo album for a dose sunny skies and happier times.

Heron Island, Queensland. Oz

Click images for larger

Confidential – Let me Look That Up

From the Oxford English Dictionary

Confidential

1. Confident, bold. Obs. rare.

2. Of the nature of confidence; spoken or written in confidence; characterized by the communication of secrets or private matters.

3. Betokening private intimacy, or the confiding of private secrets.

4. Enjoying the confidence of another person; entrusted with secrets; charged with secret service.

It seems that Christine Pratt of the charity The National Bullying Hotline works from a different dictionary to everyone else.

'We are not suggesting that Gordon Brown is a bully, what we are saying is staff in his office working directly with him have issues, and have concerns, and have contacted our helpline.'

(The Daily Mail)

Well thanks for that Christine, it pretty much guarantees that those people will be hunted down and expelled, whether on Prime Mentalist orders or by lick-spittle's hoping to curry favour.

I don’t think many people will be calling your Hotline from now on even with this lovely sentiment attached below, because it’s obviously just bollocks.

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Subject: ripped and gipped* [Incident: 100217-001028]

There comes a time when even the most reasoned of us, when confronted by labyrinthine bureaucracy, utter incompetence or corporate obfuscation, not to mention the dreaded offshore call centre.

We devolve back to our primitive hind brain and just start mashing at the keyboard, pounding with two fingers in utter rage at the sheer incompetence and indifference to us of these corporations that take our money.

We are but a single step away from screeching and flinging shit at the monitor.

Below is, I believe a classic example of a man who has been pushed too far.

Note; the misspelling, the lack of punctuation (Although the decimal point survives in money quotes), the extra exclamation mark and the lack of capitals.

This is a man so angry, he cannot press ‘shift’ for capitals, yet can find it for ‘ !! ‘ and has lost track of both ‘ and ,

I should point out that the email is not by our humble author, but Brother Mr Pavlov’s Cat.
Who is normally most erudite, he normally writes rationally and well (and uses spell check).

He is known in the family as the ‘Go To Guy’ as someone who can actually deal with call centre’s and corporate bull shit merchants, if any incidents occur.

Click for larger

*For those not from Sarf Lahdan

Ripped (ripped off, rip) = You believe you have had money taken from you by use of monopoly or contractual situation.

Example: “Fuck Me, I just had to pay £1.50 for a quarter litre of water in this concert venue / airport, when they made me throw away the 2 litres I had bought at ASDA for 00.67p, what a fucking rip”

gipped = Misspelling of Gypped (See below)

Gypped = A disparaging, racist comment that you believe you have been taken advantage of, conned or robbed in a similar manner to which people of Gypsy, Romany, Traveller or Pikey descent. are said to behave.

Example: “I paid £500 for these guys to TarMac my drive, but all they did was paint it black, fuck was I Gypped”

Late Night Ponderings & Photoshop

Tesco To Launch Property Website

Click images for larger should you so wish.

Poets Day (33)

for a modern home and cheap electricity
streamlined functional neat simplicity
put yourself on the slum clearance list
dial a dialectical materialist
find out what your net potential is
get married to an existentialist
don't doubt your own identity
dress down to a cool anonymity
the pierre cardin line to infinity
clothes to climb the meritocracy
the new age of benevolent bureaucracy

i like to visit all the big cities
museums and municipal facilities
i strive for critical ability
i thrive on political activity
i'm alive in a new society
i arrive quickly quietly
the car that i drive is the family variety
roman catholic marxist leninist
happily married to an eloquent feminist
a lapsed atheist all my memories
measure the multitude's deafening density
psycho citizens are my enemies
crypto nazis and their remedies
keep the city silent as the cemetery's
architectural gothic immensity
a new name on the less-than-kosher list
the euro-communist / a gucci socialist

Euro-Communist / Gucci Socialist – John Cooper Clarke

Life’s A Riot With Spy vs. Spy

Terror of innocent Britons named as assassins:

Why choose us? ask men whose identities were stolen by Mossad hit squad

I may be in a minority here. But apart from possible revenge attacks and it being made slightly more difficult to fly anywhere than it already is.

I think it would actually be pretty cool to be linked to a Mossad hit squad.

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Why I Love Aldi (cont.)

 

Marvellous

And they come in their own foam lined hard shell plastic chariot. With an extra battery and a 3 year guarantee.

Things I now know the measuring of ;

The internal diameter of the rim of my coffee mug – 85.70mm

The internal diameter of the rim of my wine glass – 82.35mm

Left Thumb, 1st knuckle to tip – 37.43mm

Right Thumb, 1st knuckle to tip – 38.33mm

Thickness of watch – 10.13mm

Depth of ashtray – 34.85mm

Width of cats skull – inconclusive (Cat refused to cooperate with measurement and nearly lost an eye in the process*. Will wait until asleep)

Twix – L 109.00mm, W 20.38mm, D 14.96mm

Can of Right Guard – Diameter 49.50mm

Wrist (Side to side)
Left – 56.47mm
Right – 56.53mm

and I now know that the internal diameter of my camera lens is 58.00mm for a FACT and not just something written on the side.

Hours of family fun.

 

*NB. The blades, arms, tangs? of the instrument are pointy and sharp and should not be used for measuring intimate body parts or even babies heads.

Trust me

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Valentines Day

I have nothing else to add apart from this

Why I Love Aldi

 

I’ve never used callipers and sitting here now cannot think of any present or future use to which I would put them,

Other than occasional body part measuring that is. (If they go small enough)

But come on, £8.99, that’s a bargain and a must have.

click image for more info

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Poets Day (32) Late Again

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune,
It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.

The World Is Too Much With Us – William Wordsworth

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The Nation Must Be Told

Is it the left one or the right one.

From The London Evening Standard .

Then They Came For The Drinkers

The Righteous obviously believe the war against The Filthy Smokers is all but won, with just a few pockets of resistance still to stamp out.

And so from Dick Puddlecoat and others we are beginning to see the opening salvo’s in The Righteous war against ‘The Drinker’ , the bogus reports, the cost to the NHS, the binge drinking stories placed in the MSM.

From The BBC

Bridlington Off-Licence Fingerprints Customers

An off-licence owner in Bridlington has started using fingerprint technology to deter underage drinkers and smokers.

Wearing my freshly polished tin-foil hat, is not not possible the progression now goes

Off-licence owner uses fingerprint technology to deter underage drinkers and smokers.

Other Local Off-licence owners encouraged to follow suit, possibly by being given grants for equipment

Local Off Licences data bases linked

Scheme extended to Local pubs, all in the name of cracking down on underage drinking. Refusal brings threats of removal of licence

Scheme rolled out nationally. Still being promoted as to combat underage drinking.
Database now national soon to be merged with National ID Database.
Assault on adult drinking also continuing along other lines.

Pub / Off licence scheme linked to National ID Card Scheme.
Now mandatory for Under 21’s to have National ID Card and be fingerprinted to purchase Alcohol or Cigarettes.
Guidelines indicate anyone looking under 25 to be carded and fingerprinted as proof. Refusal of sale to anyone who does not comply.

Government introduces law that ANYONE wishing to purchase alcohol or cigarettes must swipe your National ID Card and be finger print scanned.

Government introduces Daily Alcohol / Tobacco Unit Ration for Adults.
Information to be held on your ID Card. Any attempt to exceed your daily ration will be blocked and will result in an intervention by your Local Alcohol / Tobacco Misuse Officers including mandatory behaviour retraining courses.

Any attempt to transfer your ration or pass on to others who have exceeded theirs will be ruled illegal and punishable by 3 years imprisonment and re-education.

I may have missed out a few of the insidious steps, but I’m sure this is the way some in The Righteous community are thinking right now.

Don’t think it could happen? Let’s wait and see.

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Reason Beauty Thing

Lazy posting, cold is still lingering and feeling like shit.

So you’ll have to amuse yourselves with something from those wacky Japanese and their crazy Engrish. (Very rarely is so much contained on one sign)

I think the 3rd camera is for clumsy people

click for larger

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If You Laugh, You’re Going To Hell*

Man who saved dogs killed by dogs

A Slovenian man who saved his three dogs from being put down after they were accused of attacking humans has been found mauled to death by the same dogs.

 

*I’m already ahead of you

It’s A Tough Job

But somebody's got to do it

Katy Perry frisked at airport security as fiancé Russell Brand is waived through

 

NB Not actual airport picture

Poets Day (31) Late Edition

Drake he's in his hammock an' a thousand miles away,
(Capten, art tha sleepin' there below?)
Slung atween the round shot in Nombre Dios Bay,
An' dreamin' arl the time O' Plymouth Hoe.
Yarnder lumes the Island, yarnder lie the ships,
Wi' sailor lads a-dancing' heel-an'-toe,
An' the shore-lights flashin', an' the night-tide dashin',
He sees et arl so plainly as he saw et long ago.

Drake he was a Devon man, an' ruled the Devon seas,
(Capten, art tha' sleepin' there below?)
Roving' tho' his death fell, he went wi' heart at ease,
A' dreamin' arl the time o' Plymouth Hoe.
"Take my drum to England, hang et by the shore,
Strike et when your powder's runnin' low;
If the Dons sight Devon, I'll quit the port o' Heaven,
An' drum them up the Channel as we drumm'd them long ago."

Drake he's in his hammock till the great Armadas come,
(Capten, art tha sleepin' there below?)
Slung atween the round shot, listenin' for the drum,
An' dreamin arl the time o' Plymouth Hoe.
Call him on the deep sea, call him up the Sound,
Call him when ye sail to meet the foe;
Where the old trade's plyin' an' the old flag flyin'
They shall find him ware an' wakin', as they found him long ago!

Drakes Drum – Sir Henry Newbolt

The Pheasants* Are Revolting

Artists Impression
(NB. May not be accurate, or to scale or plausible)

I thought it had gone quiet on the animal attack front.

And so indeed it appears that they were just biding their time for the Spring Offensive.

From The Daily Telegraph comes this tale of avian aggro.

Pheasant Terrorising North Yorkshire Village 'Attacks People In Street'

The vicious bird has launched several unprovoked attacks on villagers in recent weeks.

Men, women, children, prams, bikes, dogs and cars are said to have have fallen foul of the bird in Newsham, near Richmond, North Yorkshire.

Not only is it attacking, it appears it is stalking it’s victims beforehand.

Local Vet Joanne Metcalfe (31) said: "The pheasant followed me for three days running when I was out walking the dog. I didn't take too much notice and I think it was spooked by the dog so it didn't go for me.

"But I have heard about the attacks which sound terrible."

Won’t somebody think of the cheeeeldren

Oh, Bob De’Ath (snarf) has

The Chairman of Newsham Parish Council said: "Although it seems humorous, there is a serious concern that this pheasant could injure young children if it goes for their face.

He goes on.

“I have written to the RSPCA and the RSPB to ask for advice on the matter."

Actually Bob, I think you’d be better off writing to Rules

Let’s be careful out there.

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*When I first read the headline, I did indeed for a nanosecond believe it read ‘Peasant Terrorising North Yorkshire Village”’ and my initial thought was, “Well times are hard, it is The North, it is The Daily Torygraph and we are well on the road back to serfdom, but surely that’s still a bit of a harsh way to describe someone these days.

True story

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Lacklustre

1. Lacking brilliance or intelligence
2. Having no shine or lustre; dull
3. Not exceptional; not worthy of special merit, attention, or interest; having no vitality

   The actor gave a lackluster performance in his latest film.

Apologies for the lacklustre and sparse posting,

I think this due to several reasons; another onset of SAD, general ennui and the fact that I am on another 3 day frikking training course*.

In the meantime, here is a Mejiro sitting in some plum blossom.

click for larger

*Since I started on 14th Dec, I have not yet done a full week of what they are actually paying me to do. Which personally I find very frustrating

‘Predicts’ Or Causes?

Komforter or Killer?

Cat Predicts 50 Deaths In Rhode Island Nursing Home

A cat with an uncanny ability to detect when nursing home patients are about to die has proven itself in around 50 cases by curling up with them in their final hours, according to a new book.

Could be coincidence.

When nurses once placed the cat on the bed of a patient they thought close to death, Oscar "charged out" and went to sit beside someone in another room. The cat's judgement was better than that of the nurses: the second patient died that evening, while the first lived for two more days.

He obviously knows something they don’t, like he did it.

If it was a Nurse doing the same, the Police would be involved before now. (I believe the term is ‘Angel of Death’)

Dr Dosa noted that the nursing home keeps five other cats, but none of the others have ever displayed a similar ability.

That’s because they are not serial killers

I think they should rename him Shipman

(Even the Telegraph is not sure, the file name for the above photo is Death-Cat_1570116c.jpg )
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