Too Cynical?

I have my own moral code, built up down the years and based primarily on Christian ethics. It really boils down to ‘Do Unto Others As You Wish To Be Done By’

So, I don’t steal, kill, fight, break things on purpose, or lie if I can help it. I own up to my mistakes and don’t let others take the fall. I don’t join in with ‘blame-storming’. I don’t connive or plot. I try to be as honest as I can. I hope down the years that I have done no action on purpose that has hurt or worsened another persons life. (By accident maybe or ‘knock-on’ but never deliberate)

I am in no way a paragon and do not think myself such, before the abuse in the comments starts. Nobody’s perfect, not least me.

The unfortunate side effect to this, is I tend to transfer this onto other people / organisations and think that they, like myself  would not do all the things above. (Yes I know call me Pollyanna if you like).

I always used to think the best of people / organisations to start with until proved differently, again unfortunately when the realisation does come that not everyone is like me and has no compunction in ruining my life, taking my money, job, freedoms or lying to me , it can prove doubly devastating.

Whilst I still hold to what I’ve said above. The last fifteen years (hmmm 15 years I wonder what happened around 1997) have been a bit tough to continue in this regard.

I lost my mum to undiagnosed cancer, that the doctor insisted was a thyroid condition, was lied to and thrown as a sacrificial lamb to regulators by others out to save their own hides (but never considered taking them down with me). Was told on 2 occasions that my job was safe and that was a cast iron guaranty (heard that somewhere recently)  only to be made redundant a week later. Been used and discarded by lovers who I thought I knew. I won’t go into the ways of our political masters who have made shafting me and fucking up my life an art form.

Still, I dust myself off and get back up again, although it is taking longer to rise back to my feet each time. In a boxing analogy I’m probably reaching an 8 count nowadays.

So what I’m trying to get to in my rambling Saturday morning way, is that whilst I try still to hold to the first part of the above. By others deeds, the second part of ‘thinking the best of people/organisations’ has been whittled away by their own actions.

I am no longer the trusting naïf, I used to be. Now you have to prove to me, be it a person, a company or a government, that you deserve my loyalty and trust.

They have made me a cynic.

So much so that when I read stories like the below, my first thought is merely

‘How convenient for the governments that this should happen days after someone called for relaxing airline security’

not

‘Gosh, what good work by the security services, I’m glad there are such people looking out for me.”

As I said “Too cynical?”

Wednesday 26th October

UK airlines back call for airport security changes

The UK airline industry has backed British Airways chairman Martin Broughton's call for changes to airport security checks. Mr Broughton said some "completely redundant" security checks should go. Practices such as forcing passengers to take off their shoes should be abandoned, he added. He also criticised the US for imposing increased checks on US-bound flights but not on its own domestic services, saying the UK should stop "kowtowing" to US security demands.And he questioned why laptop computers needed to be screened separately

 

Friday 29th October

UK and US probe terror risk after Yemen cargo finds

The US and UK are investigating the extent of a terror threat after explosive material was found in packages on two cargo planes bound for the US from Yemen on Friday.The two packages - one found in the UK, the other in Dubai - were addressed to Jewish synagogues in the Chicago area.President Barack Obama said the devices were a "credible terrorist threat".

Two Weeks Off

 

After a final hellish week (over 50% of colleagues are on term time only contracts)

Today begins 2 weeks off, I’m not back in the office until 15th November. My first time off since that day way back in May. Huzzah

There will be drinking, sleeping, a week in Fuerteventura  and a chance to really read all your excellent blogs and get some commenting done.

Now back to the vino collapso.

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Uncanny Precision

Artists Impression
(not Pavlov’s Cats Bedroom)

On returning home from the daily grind, first order of business, is kettle on. Then into the bedroom to strip off the ‘uniform’ of shirt and tie, climb into a pair of old jogging bottoms and a well worn t-shirt.

With that done. to my mind the working day is officially ‘over’ and I can relax.

Yet what do I find this evening?

With an accuracy that the USAF could only dream of. The cat had managed to throw up in the only item of clothing on the bedroom floor, to whit my jogging bottoms.

Bastard

The Culprit
”Feel better now?”

Now Soldiers March Away

 

The Battle of Agincourt: 25th October 1415

Steak And Eggs For The President*

I fancy a real blokes tea tonight

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Not exactly as the above,  but on tonight's menu will be

Lager (during cooking)
Cigarettes (during cooking and then après)
Rump Steak (well seasoned, pan fried)
M&S Potato and Onion Rosti
Mr Heinz’s Baked Beans
Button Mushrooms (fried in garlic butter)
A fried egg (possibly two)
Two rounds of Bread and ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’ on the side.

All to be accompanied by a bottle of Tasman Bay , Cab Sav ( 1/2 price Sainsbury's)

Yum

*I believe there is only one person in the UK who will get the title reference. If I am wrong and you get it as well. We should immediately meet, get married and move to a desert island, as we obviously don’t need anyone else. Or if you are a bloke and get it, a serious Bromance should be considered.

 

h/t failblog.org for the photo

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MONA’s IN DA HEATH

BEXLEYHEATH: Shots fired outside town centre pub

Police were called to Market Place, just off the Broadway,
outside the Furze Wren pub at around 9pm, but whoever was
responsible had already left the scene.

Oh dear, I wonder who they were?

Who should we be looking out for to assist the police with their enquiries?

There appears to be no description as to; how tall they were, how many, what they were wearing.

Oh wait.

Detectives from the Met Police's Trident shootings team are looking for witnesses.

Nuff said really.

ADDENDUM:

Now with added unfortunate headline juxtaposition.

Yep, let’s celebrate that diversity

(yes I’ve got the afternoon off)

Daily Telegraph Sub-Ed Gibberish (cont.)

How’s that outsourcing working for you guys?

story here

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Molōn labe!*

It seems the heirs to Lycurgus, Leonidas, Plato, Aristotle, Herodotus, Xenophon and many more. Have decided to claim back their title as the land of democracy ( demos=people , kratia=power)

Greek Bars Defy Ban And Put Ashtrays Back On Tables

Greek bar and restaurant owners put ashtrays back on the tables on Monday, openly defying a smoking ban introduced by a government struggling to implement changes across society.

and what does ‘the government’ have to say.

"This is the worst thing that could happen to a lawmaker and the government which has to enforce the law -- the refusal of society to comply with the rules," Health Minister Andreas Loverdos told Skai radio.

‘a lawmaker and the government ‘ Tellingly he’s already trying already to distance himself from the fact that The Government make the laws, and with the case of the smoking ban, by influence of people outside their own country and not by mandate of his own people, it’s a dictate of the EU socialists that it must happen and fuck their own 'Demos”

“The refusal of society to comply with the rules”

What those rules (laws) that you brought about with no mandate apart from your own desire for EU approbation.

I really hope to Jebus this is the start of the backlash, small though it is and the cradle of democracy proves it’s worth again after 2500 odd years. Not just for smokers, but for all the civil liberties taken away by the socialists / federalists  of the EU parliament.

Good for you Bubbles

You tell them “If you want our ashtrays,. Come and Get Them”*

.h/t  Dick Puddlecote

20:10 20/10/2010

I tried to impress upon them at work to let the little cheeldren stay up to witness it, as it will never come again.
But they looked upon me as if I was mad.
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On Sunflower Seeds And Zen Gardens

Being as now the Sunflower Seeds installation at The Tate Modern is, thanks to elf n’safety jobsworths not the installation that the artist had in mind and is actually pointless. (You were supposed to walk on it and handle the sunflower seeds, so now what use is it)

It could be renamed ‘Section of Gravel Drive Seen From A Distance. No Trespassing’

 

But then I had a brain wave, why not get a few of these fellows over with their rakes and a few rocks.

Hey presto!  A fantastic Zen Garden

What do you think?

View Full Album

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In Which I Do Not Risk Death At The Tate Modern

So off up to that there London I went yesterday to get some culchah and to not risk a possibly hideous choking death.

It was a nice afternoon, so I took the camera along as I’m off on holiday in a couple of weeks and felt I was a bit out of practice. Good thing I did, as on review, I was over exposing like a bastard. So will try and get out a couple more times to get my ‘eye’ back in.

Friend Heddle was on time despite a traumatic journey of cancelled trains and engineering works, so off we trotted to the Turbine Hall balcony to gaze (from a Health & Safety mandated distance) at the artwork.

Our opinion: Distinctly underwhelming, as Heddle pointed out (and you can see from the pictures) Unless someone told you they were sunflower seeds, from above they could have replaced the whole lot with gravel and you’d be none the wiser. All very ‘meh’ and certainly not what the artist intended, so what is the point in continuing to exhibit it.

View Full Album

So that was done, and I can tell you that as far as we were concerned there is no danger of repeated or prolonged exposure on our parts (unless they open it again and I will then go back).

Off we strolled for a very pleasant walk  along the South Bank to Charing Cross and thence repaired to The Garrick for some much needed liquid refreshment.

Then the second disappointment of the day, ‘quelle horruer, zut alors’ The Tokyo Diner had a power failure. No Katsu Curry. 

“Come back in an hour” they said “It might be fixed by then”

So there was nothing for it, but to retire famished to the Slug & Lettuce for some more liquid refreshment. The hour passed quickly as it always does, when in good humour, good company and good conversation and back we went.

Nope, still closed. What to do, you’re all geared up for a Katsu Curry and it’s whipped away from you, I have to tell you best beloved, we were downcast and had to return to the Slug & Lettuce for some more liquid refreshment to bolster our sagging spirits.

(and before anyone pops up in the comments with “But Waggamamas do a Japanese Curry and it’s just round the corner”. Let me tell you Waggamamas Japanese Curry is as close to an actual Katsu Curry as a Findus Crispy Pancake is to actual food)

But then like a flash of lightning on a dark night, a memory surfaced of Little Bro telling me they were opening a Japanese Diner at the Japan Centre, a quick call to confirm this was the case and garner the location and we were off. 

It being several minutes walk away, we did have to stop en-route for more liquid refreshment at The Captains Cabin and then….

Yes the diner was there, yes it was open and yes, they did a Katsu Curry, Huzzah!!!

The curry certainly tasted authentic, (and they had sweet pickles, my favourite) however it was more of a gravy than a sauce, a bit thin. With none of the lovely chunks of carrot and potato that you get in the Tokyo Diner. Price £10. However that was the only reasonable price in there, the rest was ridiculously priced e.g. £4.00 for 2 yakitori sticks and £4.00 for a small tin of Asahi.

As a fall back, it certainly saved the day for the Katsu Curry craving, but I don’t think I’ll be going back.

Suitably replete, we heid back to The Garrick for some more liquid refreshing and chat. I then saw the Heddle off at the tube station, hugs were exchanged and a wave goodbye.

I then wended my merry (very merry) way back to Bexleyheath, to sleep the sleep of the innocent, bathed in the warm golden glow you only get when you know you’ve had a thoroughly good time.

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So Long Then ‘Manimal’

 

Simon MacCorkindale
1952-2010

A fond farewell to actor Simon MacCorkindale who died on the 14th October after a long battle with cancer. Only 58, no age these days.

His IMDb page lists him with 62 credits for named roles (but that includes countless episodes as the same character in series, 229 appearances on Casualty alone).

He was also married to Fiona Fullerton (divorced) and Susan George, which is a win double in anyone's book.

But to me, as someone from the early Eighties he will always be ‘Manimal’

“Dr Jonathan Chase... wealthy, young, handsome. A man with the brightest of futures. A man with the darkest of pasts. From Africa's deepest recesses, to the rarefied peaks of Tibet, heir to his father's legacy and the world's darkest mysteries. Jonathan Chase, master of the secrets that divide man from animal, animal from man... Manimal!”

Only 8 episodes, but they seared themselves into my consciousness.

The only question then as now, was.

If he can turn himself into any animal, why was it always a black panther or a hawk?

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Sunflower Seeds @ The Tate Modern : Elf & Safety Strikes

Via the excellent Diamond Geezer  it appears that my day trip to London is going to be slightly less fun than I thought it would be.

Further to my last post, they were not just thinking of the cheeldren. But all of us. Bless.

Update: Friday 15 October 2010

Although porcelain is very robust, we have been advised that the interaction of visitors with the sculpture can cause dust which could be damaging to health following repeated inhalation over a long period of time. In consequence, Tate, in consultation with the artist, has decided not to allow members of the public to walk across the sculpture.

Did you get that.

can cause dust

“which could be damaging to health following repeated inhalation over a long period of time.”

Well I for one Tate Modern wasn’t planning on camping out in the Turbine Hall till March. In fact I was going to pop in. Take a few snaps and then off for a Katsu Curry and a pint or three in The Garrick. At most I’d be an hour, in fact probably a lot less.

Thank you for saving my life (not)

If it’s the staff you’re worried about, give them face masks, loft insulators wear them, carpenters wear them and many other trades.

Today (Friday 15 October 2010) the installation will be viewable from the Turbine Hall bridge. Revisit this page for updates.

Well, whoop-dee-fucking-doo!

Please do not remove any of the seeds.

No chance of that anymore, can’t get near the buggers.

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The ‘Won’t Somebody Think Of The Cheeeeldren’ Of The Day

So the new Unilever installation in the Tate Modern Turbine Hall has opened ‘Sunflower Seeds’ was created by Chinese dissident artist Ai Weiwei

It consists of supposedly of a 100 million porcelain sunflower seeds spread across the floor (and means all sorts of things, you can read about in the article).

I normally go and check these out and I’m up in town on Saturday, so may well pop in and take a few pictures. I liked Rachel Whiteread’s Embankment and The Weather Project by Olafur Eliasson was stunning, I went back several times.

But won’t somebody think of the …..  oh you have
 

Firstly it’s an art installation not a deluxe sandpit for Jocasta and Tarquin, keep control of your little shits for once. Secondly if they haven’t taught their little brats not to put in their mouths anything they find on the floor by now and that people are actually walking on, that’s pretty piss poor parenting and I’m getting sick of it.

And finally the only safety aspect I can see if they do swallow one (being porcelain I would guess they are pretty inert) is the fact that they might crack the bowl when they shoot out the other end.

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Yum!

click for larger

And no it wasn’t ripped off from an Engrish website. It comes courtesy of my friend Matt in Tokyo taken at a buffet.
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10:10:10 10/10/10

Well I thought it was pretty cool.

And I’m going to watch it again this evening [Blows raspberry] So there

UPDATE:

Told you I was going to watch it again


So that’s it for another 100 years.

Still we’ve got  11/11/11 and 12/12/12 to come, so that’s exciting and something to look forward to.

I just realised that ten past eight in the evening of the twentieth of October is going to be in the 24 hour clock  20:10 20/10/2010

How exciting.
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I May Not Know Much About Art…..(14)

But I know what I like and I like this.
(On time this week)

click for larger
 

St Paul At His Writing Desk

1629: Rembrandt Van Rijn

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Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Those of you who may glance at these peripatetic musings will know that I use Windows Live Writer for composing them and have done for some time. (Blimey, October 2009, where does the time go)
 

So I’m not going to wax lyrical about it again, but add it together with the new Blogger design tool  and I've got a system of posting / blog that I’m really happy with. 

There were a couple of flies in the ointment, firstly underlining post titles. Via the comments Mark suggested a way to fix this and it did. 

Secondly, you can’t schedule posts from Windows Live Writer.

What you do is post them to Blogger as a ‘Draft’ then go in and set the time in Post Options and all is well. Otherwise you can just post ‘Live’ to the blog.  But on occasion I want it to appear the next morning and in case I forget, it’s already lined up ready to go. 

All so far, so excellent, until 

Blogger has new editor, it’s just as fubared and clunky as the old one. 

But it comes with an added FUCK YOU! , it now removes all the line breaks and some of the formatting from anything you post to ‘Draft’ via Windows Live Writer. 

So if I want this post to appear at 06:30 , I’m going to have to post it to ‘Draft’ set the post time and then re-edit the fucker to put back all the stuff in their wisdom they decided I don’t need. 

Excuse me whilst I Face/Palm 

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I May Not Know Much Art……(13)

But I know what I like and I like this….(belatedly, sorry)

 

Click for larger
View Of A Harbour

1815-16: Caspar David Friedrich

That’s Nice K.T. Can We Have Some Of The Royalties?

Being as I was a tax payer in those years you were ‘unemployed’ I helped fund your future career, I don’t mean the tax you’re paying now, but when you were taking the piss.

I know I am slightly biased as I do work (under contract) for the Job Centre, but I have also claimed JSA (several times) and had to abide by the rules.

One of the rules is that you are ‘actively seeking employment’  and in this article in the Daily Mail the winsome K.T Tunstall admits she wasn’t doing that and was in fact sponging off the tax payer with no intention of actually taking a job.

It’s a pretty clear case of benefit fraud, now where’s that ‘Hotline’ number.

I chose to stay on the dole so I could be a musician.

It took nine years but I never stopped believing. I knew I couldn’t take a job even as a waitress because I had to put all my time and energy into writing, making music, doing little gigs. Between the ages of 21 and 28, all I had was my dole cheque of £52 a week. I remember very clearly not having the money for a 26p stamp and another time I put on a balaclava while my boyfriend at the time pinched some broccoli from a farmer’s field. My mum still hasn’t forgiven me for that.

By the way, some of us didn’t ‘choose’ to stay on Job Seekers Allowance (which is what it actually is, not ‘The Dole’ or ‘Unemployment Benefit’), We were on it because we couldn’t get a fucking job and at times in 1998, 2003 and 2009 I’d have fucking cried to get a job as a waiter, you sanctimonious cow.

K.T Tunstall. Remember you paid for her ‘apprenticeship’

NOTE: I do like her music and I was going to add a video at the end here, but apparently everyone I tried had ‘embedding had been disabled by request’.

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Drinking Games…. (Part Two)

Further to my post about Okayama and drinking games. I was inspired by MacHeath in the comments and some Vino Collapso ( plus access to Photoshop)

I thought that I would depict the scene as it would be in the UK today

Before (c. 1600 Japan, same 2010 Japan)

After ( Transported to Britain 2010 )

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Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn

 

BEFORE

AFTER

Cunts