Friday, 31 December 2010

Poets Day: New Year Reprise

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.'

And he replied,
'Go into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!'

So I went forth and finding the Hand of God
Trod gladly into the night
He led me towards the hills
And the breaking of day in the lone east.

So heart be still!
What need our human life to know
If God hath comprehension?

In all the dizzy strife of things
Both high and low,
God hideth his intention."

At The Gate Of The Year - Minnie Louise Harkins 1875-1957

Thanks to all for stopping by this year and commenting if you wanted to, This Cat may not break any records, but I appreciate every single visitor and also by following back discovered some truly excellent blogs.

I am sure many of you like myself await the coming New Year with trepidation as to how our Masters are going to try and fuck us over again. (add in my contract finishes at the end of May, so job hunting begins in earnest in January)

Still in a triumph of hope over expectation may I wish you all a Happy New Year to you and yours.

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king."

card

Thursday, 30 December 2010

Giant Cock Photo’s

I realise the last two posts have been a bit angry.

So to lighten the mood and as an interesting experiment as to how my hit rate may go up.

Here are some photo's of a MASSIVE COCK I once saw* .

click images for LARGE COCKcock_1

cock_2

cock_3

 

*I wish I could tell you more about this, but unfortunately all the information is in storage still, brochures, train tickets etc.  The photo’s are labelled under ‘Totoji, Japan’ but a Google search doesn’t show up anywhere of that name.

All I remember is it was done on a day trip from Tokyo (although with their trains it does extend the distance from what it would be in the UK)  Also due to the age and delicacy of the statues it only take place about once every ten years and that’s it I’m afraid.

Unless of course ‘you know different’

.

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Flying Fuck Meet Rolling Donut

Ministers Urge Giving To Charity At The Cash Machine

“They could also be prompted to give money when they fill in tax returns, or apply for passports and driving licences, the Cabinet Office suggested.”

What makes them think after receiving a threatening letter  like this one.

by_law_web

I’m going to say  “Tell you what, here’s my cheque for £20 for the new licence and I’ll add on another tenner for you to spunk on a fake charity as you see fit, I like that ASH one that has already stopped me going to pubs and made me a 2nd class citizen or perhaps you could send it to India so they can advance their space program as they seem to be having trouble”

As I’ve said before “I gave at the office via PAYE”

Quite frankly they can all take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

 

UPDATE: Lynne at Counting Cats shares her views on this, as does Long Rider who also notes that it does include a possible plan for a mandatory 1% grab via PAYE

Monday, 27 December 2010

The DVLA, Demanding Money With Menaces

A brown envelope arrived from the DVLA on Christmas Eve. I didn’t open it as I knew it would make me angry and spoil Christmas. I left it till Boxing Day and how right I was.

by_law_webclick for larger

You see I MUST, BY LAW get a new photo, when did that sneak in? 

It’s not even hidden, not politely phrased, not a ‘Did you happen to know?” No it’s “Give us money or we break you kneecaps and it’s legal” All in the first sentence. (and they put it in bold to make doubly sure you get the picture)

And it’s a Strict Liability offence as well,  if my current licence expires and I have not BY LAW renewed my photo, I WILL BE BREAKING THE LAW .I am automatically GUILTY. There is no defence. I wonder how soon the fines go out after the expiry date, are they just sitting there ready formatted on the computer, just waiting for the calendar to expire.

And all it will cost me to avoid this LAW BREAKING is  £20 (+ £4 for photo’s) plus postage.

I don’t currently own a car, but still having once been issued a permit by THE STATE that I am competent by THE STATE’S set standard to drive one on PUBLIC (our) roads (for which test I also had to pay THE STATE a fee.)  I must pay my abeyance under strict penalty or risk eventually having my liberty removed (Hard to imagine?, how many people have been imprisoned for non payment of Council Tax or other state imposed fines (taxes)?).

"The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them...you create a nation of lawbreakers – and then you cash in on guilt."

Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand

That’s it, we are all criminals now in one way or another.

I am slow to anger, I thought my demoing days were behind me. But I find myself reading blog’s like Captain Ranty’s more avidly everyday, with it’s ideas of lawful rebellion, freeman, and civil disobedience.

Oh and in case that didn’t boil my piss enough, have a look at this bit at the end.

partner

What commercial partner? I don’t have a car at present, so it wasn’t an Insurance company. I rent a room from my Dad so all the utility bills are in his name.

In fact the only ‘Commercial Partners’ I can think of that they could check my address with are my bank, my mobile phone company and the Co-Op (I have a divi card).

What gives the sodding DVLA the right to check my address with any of them and why the flying fuck would they not tell them to go to hell.

 

NOTE: I realise I am castigating the DVLA as if they were an individual entity or a private company, but I do know they are just another arm of THE STATE and the PTB that siphons more of our money (that is left after direct taxation) back up to the cunts in Westminster to steal or spunk as the whim takes them.

Sunday, 26 December 2010

Saturday, 25 December 2010

Happy Christmas

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you;
Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Luke 2:8-14

So to you all; believer, unbeliever, agnostic or atheist*  I wish you all a Happy Christmas, we could all do with a bit of peace on earth and goodwill toward men.

 

*Not telling you what I am, but the sentiment should be the same for all

Friday, 24 December 2010

DIS RADIATOR IZ MINE

radiator

Too cute? ah c’mon it’s Christmas Eve.

 

For more cats on radiators buzzfeed.com 20 hot cats

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Needs More Electric Monk

dirk-gently-cast

I watched the latest version of Dirk Gently again last night (watched it first last week)

I’m not sure how to describe it, it’s not an adaptation, it couldn’t be really  as Steven Mangan [Dirk Gently] says in this article, the book is practically un-filmable as written.

And I agree, too much to shoe horn in, too much that only works in the imagination.

Is it perhaps an homage? they probably think so, the character names are the same, there’s a time machine plot and it briefly touches upon Dirk’s theory of the interconnectedness of all things.

But there are none of the quirks that nail it as ‘Douglas Adams’ they even manage to bugger up the ‘Schrödinger's Cat’ tale. Dirk comes off more as a conman rather than someone who wholeheartedly believes in his theory. (Case in point, in the flashback MacDuff accuses him of selling him the wrong answers to an exam. In fact in the book Dirk gets the answers correct ‘down to the last comma’ but can’t get anyone to believe it was study and coincidence)

If I had not read the book, I’d probably have enjoyed it more as as a stand alone. Without prior reference I can see how it would work for people. (If that makes sense)

However having read the book it seemed lacking, more so than I expected even given that I agree that as a one off hour of TV the book is un-filmable.

Perhaps if someone at the BBC might have had the balls to commission  6 one hour shows, we might of had a truer representation and include ‘The Professor Chronotis ‘Reg’, The Electric Monk and The Man from Porlock.

But I suppose Strictly and other reality shit puts more bums on seats.

.

Monday, 20 December 2010

Saturday, 18 December 2010

Internal Passports Next?


Two English Defence League supporters have been banned from joining protests outside their home city for 10 years.

I am not a historian, but I have read a lot of books (some with no pictures) , so even I know that one of the main ways that totalitarian regimes and the ‘Powers That Be’ down the centuries have tried to keep the peasantry in their supposed ‘place’ is the restriction of freedom of movement often accompanied with the harshest of punishments.

From serfdom in the middle ages where you had to obtain your Lords permission to travel off his estate, to the internal passports of Soviet Russia. The right of free travel and freedom of association has been suppressed at every turn. by the ruling classes either Royal or Elected (hah)

Because you see, if people can travel they may see things are done better elsewhere and might want to change the status quo.  They might talk to other people and exchange ideas, ideas that the Political Class don’t like and that do not fit with their global agenda.

That’s part of the reason I’m sure for all these travel taxes in the last few years, sod the Green agenda, they don’t want the serfs going to Greece and seeing how they stuck two fingers up to the smoking ban, or going to the US and seeing how petrol is the same price per gallon there as it is per litre here. (It never seems to stop ‘them’ holidaying or conferencing though does it.)

No, don’t broaden your mind, don’t experience other cultures, don’t meet with people just like yourself and perhaps organise internationally over the evil internet.

Oh, they tell us it’s for ‘Public Safety’ or ‘ Saving The Planet’ you see, they love us, and just want the best for us.

“Yes, it’s really unpleasant standing in line for 3 hours for a 4 hour flight, is it really worth all the aggravation, you could always stay home and No, we can’t adopt the El AL model as they are Israeli and it would racist to profile (and didn’t you know you must hate all things Israeli, the BBC says so) But that 78 year old IC1 grandmother from Dorking might also be a terrorist, so everyone must be screened. You wouldn’t want to be blown up would you?”

“Oh, the extra surcharges and Green taxes have added so much to your fare that you can’t afford the holiday anymore? Never mind have a ‘Staycation’ it’s the done thing thing. I hear Norfolk’s lovely and best of all you get to keep the pittance we’ve left you after tax in this country and that’s a good thing isn’t it? You’re helping your fellow Britons and saving the planet at the same time. Who could argue with that?”

You see the thing is, ‘They’ are having trouble with the internet, ‘They’ hate it, it is everything they abhor, it is free association, it is exchange of ideas, things secret in one country are available under ‘Freedom of Information ‘ laws in another. Would we have known about the expenses scandal without the internet, I doubt it and yet even now they are trying to close down the agency set up to police the expenses.

They are rooted in a feudalist mindset, they didn’t see the internet  coming or percieve the ramifications and are now on the back foot, the Global hysterical reaction by the PTB to the Wikileaks (Even though they were pretty meh) should tell you that.

‘They’ are fighting back though, not a day goes by without a government sponsored lobby group shilling for Government control over some small part of the interwebs and once the precedent has been set, once the ‘Law’s’ done. Well you can guess the rest.

Supposedly a General once said to an Air Commander “I don’t care how many bombers you have and how many missions you fly, it’s boots on the ground that will win the war.”

And if we can’t put our boots on the ground, they win.

The ‘Powers That Be’, The Cleggeron and the Bliar’s children know that

So, what they still have control of is travel, this was sown up centuries ago, they are the ones who issue the passports, driving licences, VED, they are the ones that set the taxes on airlines and on fuel. They allow the train and bus companies to set fares that allow you to just manage to travel to work and leave nothing left over in your purse to travel elsewhere.

They can still control our movements.

It’s all well and good organising on the interwebs for a demo, but what if petrol is so expensive  you can only afford to fill your car up with enough to get to work and back next week and no further, the work where you haven’t had a pay rise for 3 years due to the ‘recession’ and yet your gas and electric supplier just posted a profit and raised their prices along with your council tax, water rates and VAT going up.

Never mind I’ll go by train, Oh noes, they’ve just put their prices up to cope with meeting new ‘Green targets’ or new rolling stock that will come in in 5 years time possibly.

OK, I’ll walk it, it’s only just down the road “What do you mean I’m banned from leaving town without permission and will go to prison if I cross the county line?”

And there you have it, job done, nasty ideas [to their minds] suppressed, status quo restored.

If you can’t get there, you can’t put ‘boots on the ground’  and no matter how large your interweb campaign it can be ignored, because only when their own personal safety or wallets are at risk will they listen.

Anyway to get to my point as I fear my tinfoil hat is getting a bit warm.

I know nothing about these two men other than the report on the BBC (draw your own conclusions). There is nothing about previous convictions or details , they could be a couple of football hooligans out for starting trouble on any excuse, I just don’t know.

And yet at the end of the day a so called court has denied them the Right of Travel and the Right of Assembly on a possibility and the word of the state controlled Police.

We are back to feudalism

That we have come to this in this day and age is obscene,

That is all for now.

Friday, 17 December 2010

The Dancing Bear

Never let it be said that I do not hold my own self to ridicule.

As I previously mentioned in my post about the section night out my dancing style has been compared to a ‘a bear on roller-skates, on an ice rink, having a fit’

A helpful reader reminded me that there is photographic evidence of this particular style.

Now in my defence it was back in 2002 and I have lost a lot of weight since then. [Ed. You mean ‘a bit of weight’  you’re still a fat bastard]

So ladies and gentlemen I give you. The Dancing Bear  (and still no sign of Simon Smith, the bastard)

I like to think the dance floor was cleared in respect of the awesome moves I was bustin’ and not through any fear of being crushed or worse being invited to join in.

“Get up offa that thing. And dance till you feel better”
                                                       James Brown

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Watch Out There’s A Lurgi About

There’s a very nasty lurgi going around our parts at the moment, so watch yourselves.

I’m a pretty robust individual, in fact the last time I saw a doctor (apart from spinal surgery or Happy Pills) was for a nasty and bizarre* case of ‘swimmers ear’ in 2001 and the time before that I cannot remember.

Most colds, coughs etc. I just put up with feeling shit for a couple of days knowing nature will take its course, helped on the way with a few Nurofen to dampen the symptoms.

But this one has caught me out and knocked me for six, for a start it’s lasted about 5 days now from  the beginning on Friday to starting to finish today.

It’s characterised by cold like symptoms, runny nose, headaches, joint pain, plus a semi-dry, semi chesty cough. Throw in in spells of random feverish hot flushes, followed by acute shivering spells and a lack of appetite.

It all adds up to a few nights of little or no sleep and pretty shitty work days (Not ill enough to call in sick, but not really well enough to go in)

It’s going round the office at the moment and as we are currently under surveillance for the amount of sick days taken, people dare not take time off (even those like myself with no sick days this year or for many a year). So the cycle is unlikely to be broken until the Spring.

I hope I don’t get it again, it’s shit.

So wrap up warm, eat well and take your vitamins.

Let’s be careful out there.

.This seemed to help

covonia

 

*Bizarre in the fact that I hadn’t actually been swimming for ages, it was due to the 98% humidity and 36+C Temp in my first summer in Tokyo.

Monday, 13 December 2010

Well That’s Good News

headline

It’s always nice to have options, although it’s not something that’s been keeping me up nights.

Story Here.

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Could You Keep The Noise Down Please?

315f_fragile_handle_with_care_label
It was the section Christmas party last night and I’m beginning to think that the Long Island Ice Teas were a mistake or maybe it was the Fuzzy Navel’s. It could well have the the several [Ed. you mean loads of] pints of 1664 though and I probably didn’t need that shot of Jameson’s as a night cap either.

You see that’s the problem, if there’s no Guinness on draught, I’m at a loss as to what to go for.

Still a good time was had by all (I think). Indeed such a fine time was had, even I succumbed to the terpsichorean muse [Ed. You mean you were pissed] and ‘got down with my bad self’ on the dance floor.

Which is an event in itself as my dancing style has been described as ‘ a bear on roller-skates, on an ice rink, having a fit’

So my ankles hurt as well,

Add in the fact that in the great tradition of these lands, I fell arse over tit trying to step up a kerb on the way home.

Although fear not gentle reader, I am mostly undamaged, being a seasoned professional, I was able to tuck & roll on the way down and turn what could have been a major ‘face plant’ into a semi forward roll, so I just have a bruised shoulder.

So, really if you could just keep it down a bit for a while, at least until I’ve had a few more cigarettes and cups of tea and the Nurofen Plus has kicked in. I’d be really grateful.

Then it’s off to the pub for an ‘All day Breakfast’ at lunch time.

Friday, 10 December 2010

Haters And Wreckers

What a miserable, nasty shit hole England has become, run by socialists , thieves and pimps (sometimes all the same person) cheered on by the bastard BBC. The youth want respect but show none. You can’t have anything nice anymore or someone will break it or steal it.

I can’t add anymore to what the others in the side bar have said.  esp.Blue Eyes

All I will say is that all involved in these stories deserve to have their testicles crushed between two house bricks, it can be painful I’m told ,

But only if you don’t tuck your thumbs in.

Defacing the Cenotaph, urinating on Churchill... how young thugs at student protest broke every taboo

cunt arsehole

Vandals destroy 2000 year old Holy Thorn tree in Glastonbury

vandals

BBC stunt branded 'sacrilege' as they turn a  Blue Peter Christmas tradition into ashes

noakes

Thursday, 9 December 2010

A Nasty Case Of Crabs

crab

Not being able to read Japanese, if only there was some sort of sign that indicated the specialty of the house

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

A Terrible Resolve


click images for larger

“I fear all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve”

attrib. Admiral Yamamoto
on the attack on Pearl Harbour, Hawaii 7th December 1941

Thanks once again.

The Arizona Memorial

Sunday, 5 December 2010

My Favourite Commutes #2

Roppongi to Toranamon, Tokyo, Japan.

I’m not sure if it is true of all ex-pats or in all countries, but there was a thing amongst the ex-pats in Japan known as a ‘Tokyo Moment’.

It normally kicks in after about 6 months or so, the initial culture shock has worn off, you’ve got used to not being able to read most signs, you don’t tend to get lost anymore, double or triple Decker roads through the middle of town raise not an eyebrow anymore, you can work the subway, the whole just ‘being’ of life has settled into a rhythm, working, shopping, eating and so on. Pretty much like home, in fact it has now become home and then it hits you, the Tokyo Moment.

It can be something trivial, waiting for a train, buying a loaf of bread, giving a taxi driver directions and so on. Then you freeze and your brain goes

“Holy fucking shit, I’m six thousand miles from home, living and working in a completely different culture, I never would have dreamt it, how fantastic is this?” 

Then the world rushes in again and everything continues as before. But for that brief moment in time, you know how Dorothy felt.

So the commute.

I was working in trading floor support, so had to be in the office for stupid o’clock, so most days I took the subway. But if it was a nice day and I’d got up early, I’d walk in,

Leave the house and walk along Roppongi-Dori, pretty standard high street, shops, offices, bars. thinking about what you’ve got to do when you get in. Then you get to Roppongi Crossing. 

Wait for the lights,

Look left

Look right

and BANG, there’s your Tokyo Moment

 click for larger

.

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Spare A Thought

If you can for a very good friend of mine whose Mum passed away in the week after a long battle with a brain tumour. She even got written up on the BBC news

Very sad and never pleasant, but losing parents is a fact of life, we get old, we die, ‘No Here Gets Out Alive’. We grieve and we move on. 

But really the reason I’d like you to spare a thought for my friend is that she has to get from Hitchin to Orkney for the funeral.

After a life spent in South East London, they decided to retire to Orkney, I cannot think of a place with in the British Isles that you could get further away and still remain with in these borders. Thanks a bunch Mum and Dad.

So safe trip ‘eddle, we’ll meet up when you get back for a katsu curry.

flowers

Friday, 3 December 2010

Sweeping Generalisation

I appreciate that a headline reading.

Some people in England who would stand to gain political kudos, earn lots of money for themselves,  or have been gulled by the previous two into believing it would be ‘a good thing FOR The Country’ for a World Cup to be held in England in 2018 are disappointed.

Is not really pithy enough.

But as an Englishman I couldn’t give a shit, so therefore it’s inaccurate. In fact I’m grateful as it means my pocket is not going to be picked for an event I never asked for or wanted (Olympics anyone, and ask the South Africans how much they actually made?).

Quite frankly ‘Huzzah’

dismay

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Shark Tale

I am not one for stereotyping, I judge each on their merits and how they treat me, be they; white, black, brown, man, woman, Catholic, Jew etc.
In fact it can probably be summed up in this exchange of A.N. Other and my friend  Matt.
“You guys don’t like me because I’m black!”
To which Matt responded with typical Aussie insouciance
“Nah mate, black has nothing to do with it. We don’t like you because you’re a cunt.”
But (and there’s always a but isn’t there)
Three tourists have been injured by a shark in three separate attacks at the Egyptian resort of Sharm el-Sheikh.
The Associated Press news agency quoted a local conservation official, Mohammed Salem, as saying all the victims were Russian.
Attacks by oceanic white tip sharks are extremely rare and shark attacks of any kind are very unusual in the Red Sea.

[emphasis mine]
They must have been really unlucky to come across the same crazed shark ON THREE SEPARATE OCCASIONS considering how unusual and rare these things are, it’s almost as if it’s hunting people down like JAWS 3
Oh wait.
 
I have been diving to Sharm and Dahab several times and have seen the behaviour of Russian divers first hand and it has been appalling. In one incident a party was grabbing onto a whale shark for joy rides  and then getting picked up, driven ahead of it  and getting dropped off in front of it so pictures could be taken of them putting arms & legs in the sharks mouth for ‘danger’ photo’s. It is a plankton feeder FFS where’s the danger there?. This led to a formal complaint by several Dive centres against the centre that guided the party. One which I happily put my name to as a witness.
 
On talking afterwards to several Dive Masters and Dive Guides, I was told that quite a few Dive Centres in Sharm will not accept Russian divers or parties. This being due to their total refusal to follow any of the general rules accepted now by nearly all divers globally.  They will not obey instructions even when it involves their own safety, they do not follow the Dive Guides and go ‘off piste’ putting themselves and others in danger, they break coral off for ‘souvenirs’ and they generally harass the wild life.
 
So here’s the stereotyping. I would imagine that they were trying to get some sort of ‘macho’ shot ala Putin of them either patting a shark or waving an arm in front of it’s face and came off second.
As usual in these cases, I would expect that the shark will wind up dead for being a shark and doing what a shark does, whilst already the bitten are ‘victims’.
 
Victims, yes, but victims of their own stupidity.
 
Full Fathom Five Pavlov’s Cat Lies
(yes that is me)
Jackson Reef, Red Sea, Sharm El Sheikh
sharm_4
20070529-200025
20070529-200200
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