A ‘No Smoking’ Sign On Your Cigarette Break

Well as we all know that isn’t actually ironic, no matter how often Alanis tries to tell us it is.

But I think this instance is hopefully going to cause a few heads to explode at ASH.

Why No Smoking Signs Actually ENCOURAGE Smokers To Light Up

Telling smokers not to light up may increase their desire for nicotine
No smoking signs may be driving more people to light up, a psychological study suggests.Scientists say the messages have an 'ironic effect' on smokers that increases their craving for tobacco.Without being aware of it, they react to the signs by thinking of and wanting cigarettes.

You can imagine the scene at ASH HQ .

“We must have ‘No Smoking’ signs everywhere, these scum must be reminded at every turn that their filthy practice is banned, banned I tell you, remind them at every turn. In fact draw up legislation that even where they wouldn’t smoke anyway, it is the LAW that a ‘No Smoking’ sign be displayed from hospital ward to churches. Throughout the land ‘No Smoking ‘ signs shall be engraved upon the walls as if writ by the finger of God for we do his Holy Healthy work. We shall also make them of a mandatory size and colour and place strict requirements on their display, so they cannot be avoided and we shall bring down our righteous wrath on those who would seek not to display the Holy Scripture ‘No Smoking’”.

           “But chief, it now appears that humans are contrary buggers and the more you tell them not to do something, the more they are likely to do it, that’s what the scientists say. So all these ‘No Smoking’ signs are actually self defeating and only make the scum want a smoke more”

“But, but, but …………..” [Head Explodes]

I can’t say for sure that I am affected by the ‘Ironic Effect’. I do know that I am a contrary bugger and tell me often enough not to do something and I will bloody carry on doing it, especially if it is something that was perfectly acceptable and legal to do up until July 2007. and with all your fake statistics you cannot come up with any more convincing reason to me that I should stop smoking than ‘You don’t like the smell’

The signage doesn’t worry me except for it’s all pervasiveness from park bench to indeed churches and hospital wards*  I don’t want to light up every time I see a ‘No Smoking’ sign.

I must admit the one that does make we want to spark up as soon as possible is the Airport. You’ve just landed after a 12 hour (non smoking flight) and what’s the first thing you hear over the Tannoy.

No. not ‘Welcome to the United Kingdom’ not ‘Please follow the corridor to Passport Control’ or ‘Please have your documents ready for inspection’

But “Passengers are reminded this is a NON Smoking airport’ [Well good for it] then “ XXXXX Airport is a Non Smoking Airport” or “There is No Smoking anywhere in the Airport”

Every few minutes, “There is No Smoking anywhere in the Airport” all the way from the plane, “XXXXX Airport is a Non Smoking Airport” all the way through passport control, “There is No Smoking anywhere in the Airport” while you’re waiting for your bags, “There is No Smoking anywhere in the Airport” whilst you’re getting your bags through customs, “There is No Smoking anywhere in the Airport” whilst you’re looking for your minicab driver and trying to work out if that is your name spelt freeform or actually someone else. “Passengers are reminded this is a NON Smoking airport’ whilst you’re pushing your trolley past the over priced WH Smiths to the car park.

Well then yes, call it the ‘Ironic Effect’ but then I really do want a cigarette and standing amongst the buses and cars spewing CO, particulates and carcinogens, I go to the designated smoking area and  I bloody well have one.

 

*As recently as 2005, I had to have a spinal operation at the London Spinal Clinic [Ed. well duh, you weren’t there for your piles]  (I was covered by BUPA insurance then) As I was doing the check in, you know, the religion, next of kin stuff. The receptionist then asked me if I wanted a smoking or non-smoking room.”Smoking please” Being as I was going to be virtually bedbound for a week.  Now banned I would imagine whether they wanted to offer it or not, much like smoking and non smoking hotel rooms.