The Policeman is obviously a cat person.
Anyone who is owned by a cat, will know this pose and I have never seen it better illustrated.
They sit inside or outside the door, looking wistfully at you or mewing piteously with occasional glances in your direction. “If only you would please come open this door, I really want to get in or out” they say. “I know there is a perfectly good cat-flap, but I really want to use this door and you are my slave after all”
Then in thrall to their Cat-Jedi Mind Trick, you get up and open the door for them and then what happens, they take one step forward and stop, paws on the door sill and hold. So you stand there waiting for the cat to make up its mind whether it wants to go in or out.
(It could however be some cat dominance game. “Alright Tuggers you’re late tonight” “Yeah Smokey, I made him wait 5 minutes holding the door before I left. The dick” “Nice” )
Then you realise, “Wait a second! I’ve been standing here like a dick for five minutes, holding the door open, waiting for the cat to go in or out, I don’t even do that for the wife/girlfriend/significant other.”
So then commences the ritual of ‘The Toeing of the Cat” a gentle shoving of the rear of the cat with the foot as illustrated in the picture above. Normally accompanied by the uttering the sacred phrase “In or Out it’s your choice”
The cat will then either proceed on its way or do a neat U-turn around the toe and return to its radiator, your bed or digging for gold behind the sofa, in either case acting as if that had been its intention all along.
Not however for one minute am I criticising cats, this blogger for one welcomes our new feline overlords.
Reminds me a bit of the rumour launched by a German satirical magazine saying that the UK Police has special units called "Entenpolizei" who were dedicated to helping ducks cross the road.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes, toeinfg the cat. Much carried out in the Longrider household.
ReplyDeleteOne of our cats - long gone, now - was scratching his chin scrabbling under the wooden gates. Like a dick, I put a catflap in the gate. Did he use it? Well, yes, in a manner of speaking. He would sit behind it looking up the drive and then scrabble under the gate to investigate what he had seen. The present crew still do.
Yep.
ReplyDeleteI've carried out this manoeuvre around a thousand times.
Although I did reduce the standard waiting time to 15 seconds. I was wasting much of my life waiting "to toe".
CR.
I have one of those 'litter pickers' stationed by the back door, and a menacing 'snap' of the prongs is usually enough to persuade a recalcitrant cat...
ReplyDelete@LR The current one does much the same, she lays looking through the cat flap, but if anything interests her, she will get up and go stand by the door to be let out. Also if she can see anyone in the room through the french doors, she will NOT use the cat flap.
ReplyDelete@CaptainR but you still wait though, they WIN still
Our cats have learned how to work a door. They sit there and fucking howl until a human caves in and opens it. Half the time they then go back the way they came and go to sleep.
ReplyDeleteOh yes. So familiar. One of ours makes a noise with the cat flap, gives up and then waits for the door to be opened.
ReplyDeleteMind you, slightly more intelligent than Fatty Cat who would only go through a transparent cat flap as she didn't believe there was an outside when it was opaque despite being shown numerous times!
thats funny cause its true...lol
ReplyDeleteOur cats get the other half up during the night (we don't have a catflap). They then demand food before going out, so he stands there waiting for them to eat, freezing his bits off, before opening the door. Then they decide it's too cold/wet and go back to bed.
ReplyDeleteThey don't wake me - much as I love them I'd simply assist them straight out of the door :-)
GoodTwin