Is surely the answer to the question posited by The Daily Mail
Why ARE women's breasts getting bigger?
Sadly the answer is a bit more prosaic Story Here
Now please excuse me whilst I feign outrage at the above blatant sexism and demand that I sack myself from my blog.
Fuck my luck, honestly.
Got a text yesterday from old friend* and occasional commenter ‘eddle. Did I want to meet up in town that evening for a drink and Katsu Curry.
Well the answer was obviously in the affirmative, I had not seen my very good friend in an age , nor had an authentic Katsu Curry in as long. (Been up to town, but not on anything that merited a Katsu Curry)
Well they say that lightning doesn't strike twice** But in this case it did, if one was of a suspicious / paranoid mind, one might think The Tokyo Diner did not want our custom, as again, as with October 16th 2010, The Tokyo Diner was closed due to a power failure ‘again’.
It seems very convenient that over 3 months apart, the day we decide to go, they close. A restaurant that prides itself on being open 364 days a year.
Do they not like me? Do they not want my custom?
Or was it ‘eddle throwing Miso soup over herself, the first time she was there and the shame is insurmountable?
Who knows?
We did get our Katsu Curry again at the Mitsukoshi Diner but it wasn’t the same.
If they don’t want us there, just let us know.
That being said, it was an absolutely splendid evening.
*Old friend as in, I have known her for nearly 30 years now. But also old friend as in, she is older than me, in fact for 8 days each year, she is two years older than me. :)
**Yes I know it does, that’s why we have lightning conductors
Some of you may have read my posts on how I was almost killed to death by the Sunflower Seeds installation at the Tate Modern.
But was saved from almost, possibly, might have, small chance of, negligible risk of, being killed to death by our our wonderful Elf & Safety people.
Although in doing so they rendered the artist’s vision of his work and its meaning completely null and void. But hey, at least nobody was killed to death eh?
But wait there’s more (there has to be, right?)
New health scare over Tate Sunflower Seeds exhibition
The BBC has learned that the installation of 100 million porcelain "sunflower seeds" was made in China using paint containing lead.
Oh noes won’t somebody think of the children
‘The BBC has learned’ has it?
What, after being tipped off by some egregious H&S cock still trying to justify why they closed it down for some risible reason.
One of the most striking exhibitions at the Tate Modern for years is at the centre of a new health scare.
No it isn’t, you just made that up, there’s nothing scary about it. It’s just another example by The PTB to keep the serfs afeared for themselves and you in control as ‘We Know Best What Is Good For You’ See we are still protecting you all along, from stuff you didn’t even know about, aren’t we marvellous, vote for us or more importantly, pay for us.
So what has the potential MASS MURDERING Tate Modern have to say for itself
"The results showed that exposure to the dust during the period when the work could still be walked on was below the relevant workplace exposure limits.
So bollocks then.
Let’s have a word count on the article (214 words including the headline)
Scare x 2
Concerns x2
Risk x2
Health x3
Safety x2
Well played sir, I would struggle I think to do that, is there a special ‘How To Alarm The Public Over Trivia’ module in your staff training manual.
Please just fuck off and leave us alone.
You fools, don’t you realise the risk you’re taking
Addendum: “One of the most striking exhibitions at the Tate Modern for years” – Well it was briefly, now it’s pointless and just taking up space
I am reminded by Pseudonymph that today is Australia Day. Please pop over to Rad Mamblings for a small sample of Aussie music talent.
It’s a great country and if fate had taken a different turn in 1966, I’d be an Australian today.
So in honour of the occasion I give you ‘The Philosophy Department of The University of Wollamaloo’
So Friday came as Friday does and as is my wont these days I popped along to Marks & Spencer’s to reward myself for a job well done with a packet of ‘Yum Yums’.
There is nothing finer on a Friday night (other than going on the piss) than settling back with a good book, a mug of Tetley Extra Strong tea, safe in the knowledge that you’ve got enough cigarettes to last at least until Saturday lunch time and a packet of Marks & Spencer ‘Yum Yums’.
It might be a ‘comfort food’ thing, but there’s something about their doughy sugaryness that when combined with tea makes the cares just slip away.
But alas and alack, NO ‘Yum Yums’ (they are popular)
However in their appointed place were these.
I am not a culinary adventurer, I know what I like and I stick to it. But I really wanted ’Yum Yums’ So in the spirit of inquiry and an absence of originals I thought I’d give them a go.
They looked the same through the plastic, “So Yum Yums with jam in them.” I thought “What could go wrong?”
As it turns out EVERYTHING IS WRONG.
THEY ARE NOT YUM YUMS
For a start the batter/dough texture is different, then they have powdered sugar on them not glazed and finally they have frikkin jam in them.
What you have here is a regular jam doughnut only straight and not round, they bear as much resemblance to a proper’ Yum Yum’ as a frog does to an elephant. If I want a jam doughnut I’ll go to Greggs, thank you very much Mr Marks and Mr Spencer.
So be warned, they are not an alternative or a replacement. Avoid the crushing disappointment I suffered, I had to turn to strong drink to take way the pain.
PS: Before I get any comments like, ‘But Pavlov’s Cat both Sainsbury's and Tesco do ‘Yum Yums’ surely you could go there, I’m sure they are the same?”
I will answer, “NO THEY AREN’T, they have things called ‘Yum Yums’ But they are the ‘Own Brand Beans’ of the Yum Yum world and I’d rather go without”
The One And Only ‘Yum Yums’
Accept No Imitations
Well, not as many respondents as I’d hoped. Certainly not enough for a chart, but interesting in its own way.
The winner in the ‘High’s’ with an impressive 15,782 feet is Behind Blue Eyes with bonus points for location and song lyric recognition.
In the ‘Low’s’ David Gillies with a subterranean –300 feet down a slate mine in Wales takes the prize. [Ed. If you have to go to Wales ‘down a slate mine’ is probably the best place to be]
Highest
| How High (ft) | Who | Where |
| 15,782 | Behind Blue Eyes | Bolivian Plateau, Bolivia |
| 13,796 | Pavlov’s Cat | Mauna Kea, Hawaii |
| 10,023 | Pseudonymph | Haleakala, Hawaii |
| 9718 | David Gillies | Zugspitze, Austria |
| 7298 | ‘eddle | Alpen Pass (average) Switzerland/Italy |
| 3560 | Julia M | Mount Snowden, Wales |
Lowest
| How Low (ft) | Who | Where |
| -300 | David Gillies | Slate Mine, Blaenau Ffestiniog, Wales |
| -262 | Pseudonymph | Hainault Gold Mine, Australia |
| -250 | Julia M | Channel Tunnel, English Channel |
| -220 | Pavlov’s Cat | Under Hampstead Heath, Northern Line, England |
| -138 | Pavlov’s Cat | Red Sea, Egypt |
I should like to point out and in no way is this sour grapes [Ed. O’Reilly] that if I had not specified Sea Level. I would definitely have won, as everybody knows that Mauna Kea if measured from its base on the ocean floor is over 33,000 feet and is the tallest mountain on earth. So there.
Not unfortunately a MASSIVE COCK, or even a GIANT NAZI COCK, but rather a normal sized cock all be it one with razor blades strapped to its legs.
Given the increased incidence of animals attacking humans which recently have proved fatal to the humans involved. I ask myself is it wise to actually go about arming them?
The man has only himself to blame.
Champion rooster slashes its owner's throat for being asked to fight once too often
The bird is said to have attacked owner Singrai Soren and slit his throat with razor blades he had attached to its legs.
OK because I’m bored and because I’m actually interested to know* a couple of questions for you my beloved readers for a slow Wednesday. (Answers in feet and inches please measured from sea level, none of that metric shit and where and when please)
1. How high have you been?
(That is physically standing on the earths surface, honourable mentions for altitude in a plane only to SR-71 Blackbird pilots. Also answers like “Well I was ripped to the tits on mushrooms at Glastonbury in 99” will be ignored.)
2. How deep have you been?
(Under the earths surface that is, although I will accept submissions of below the sea surface as a depth for any Divers or submariners reading. )
Bonus points for whoever gets the next line to the Post Title above.
Depending on the volume of answers there may be graphs.
Tell your friends, you know you want to. [Please]
“Made it Ma, top of the world”
*and I think I may win question 1. [It’s my blog, so there]
And there was me thinking it was going to be difficult to find another job when my contract ends in May.
Not married*, not got kids, don’t want any, goes straight on my CV.
Thanks Nick, I take back all I’ve said about you being a wanker.
'It's a sledgehammer for businesses': Ten month paternity leave for fathers savaged by city chiefs
Nick Clegg was today accused taking a sledgehammer to businesses with his plans to overhaul the rules on parental leave.
The Deputy Prime Minister confirmed in a speech today that the coalition will press ahead with measures to allow fathers to take up any remaining unpaid maternity leave if mothers go back to work early, up to a maximum of 10 months.
.*Yes I realise this is not a prerequisite these days, but I’m old fashioned.
I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t get away with this now, but those were simpler times.
But it made I laugh.
Cats, always so smug with their landing on their feet. Not so cocky now though, eh?
It certainly has been bliss since the election, being able to turn on the radio or TV and NOT being shouted at or hectored to renew my fishing licence, stop smoking, car tax, TV licence, what I should eat or what I should drink etc. etc.
But it couldn’t last could it.
So there I am settled down to watch Chisum on FIVE this evening [big John Wayne fan] and in the ad breaks, up pops a crap advert for the NHS 5-a-Day promotion
'”Bollox!” says I.
Now it’s an old ad, I remember it from Labour days, so no new money spent on making it and it was on FIVE and I’m sure their rates are low.
But someone has obviously made the decision that the time is right to start SHOUTING at us again and spending our money to tell us what to do.
Let’s see what Govt ad’s come back next, my money’s on ‘Green’ ads.
PS: Don’t you just love the strap line on the website ‘NHS Choices, Your Health, Your Choices’
Yeah, right up until your choices about your health disagrees with OUR CHOICES about YOUR HEALTH and then see what we’ll do for you [Nothing] even though you’ve paid for it.
UPDATE: Damn, lost my own bet, the very next commercial break had an advert for Reading For Life However they are an offshoot of The National Literacy Trust their 2009 accounts don’t show how much they got from Govt but in 2008 of a total income of £1,668,617 it shows that £1,122,403 came from Govt grants.
Now I actually approve of getting more people to read, if more people read, maybe The PTB would not get away with the shit they do and given the personal choice, it is a charity I may well support. But do I want to fund it out of my tax, “Hell No” .
It appears that further to my post on photo’s of an ENORMOUS COCK.
That GIANT COCKS are everywhere even DORKING
Now London is to get a MASSIVE COCK in 2013
Nice, but what’s it all about?
Katharina Fritsch's ultramarine cockerel, designed to symbolise regeneration, awakening and strength, will take its place on the plinth in 2013.
Splendid, to my mind there is nothing that symbolises; regeneration, awakening and strength, than an ENORMOUS ERECT COCK standing proudly against the morning skyline.
And if this post doesn’t get my hit rate up, I don’t know what will.
France is our biggest ally, declares Obama: President's blow to Special Relationship with Britain
I guess we should have seen this coming after he sent back the bust of Churchill just weeks after his inauguration.
I have always thought that the ‘Special Relationship’ existed more in the minds of UK Politian's and the media than in actuality and was seen somehow as ‘quaint’ by more recent US Presidents.
Never the less there is something there, two World Wars and The Cold War proved that. It would have been the BOAR backing up the US if the Russian (sorry Soviet) tanks had come streaming through the Fulda Gap. (This may seem like ancient history to younger readers but as someone who grew up in the 70’s & 80’s it was all too real.)
So Obama wants to climb into bed with the Socialist, Federalist, Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys and I’m sure eventually the Sausage Munchers. Well fuck them all,
Then when he bleats the first time they turn round, lie to him and arse rape him, as they will (and as we in the UK have found out since entering the EU) I for one won’t be crying.
I say we should perhaps apologise to our ‘proper’ cousins in Australia, New Zealand and Canada for sadly neglecting them and try and build better bonds with countries that still have some affection for us.
NOTE: I did see this reported on the BBC front page, but it seems to have gone now, if anyone can find the link, please post it in the comments.
That felt like an eight day week.
God I’m weary.
Excuse me while I go to my happy place for a while.
Shipwreck Beach, Kauai, HW. USA
click for larger
.
What better way to spend a Bank Holiday Monday
Perhaps one should not admit to a crush on a comic book character. But I always thought The Ballad of Halo Jones was one of the best stories produced by 2000AD. Exciting, moving & poignant at the same time, plus with a kickass female lead.
I think it would have made a great movie, but sadly not to be. Then again who would play the eponymous title role.
At the time I thought Lori Petty would be a good choice, but unfortunately she went with the appalling Tank Girl. (Which probably also derailed any thoughts or plans for a Halo Jones movie). Or even Wendy James maybe, she was obviously a fan (see end video)
Of modern actresses of the right sort of age, could any of them cut it? Both Zooey Deschanel and Kirsten Dunst could play the early vulnerability, but maybe not the toughness at the end. Natalie Portman certainly, but she’s already done Star Wars.
Any other suggestions in the comments please.
[This is a repost from June 2009 inspired by two things, the first being the increased hit rate from the MASSIVE COCK post and secondly James’s comment in the same post. I make no apologies, there is always room for fictional characters with unfeasibly large testicles.]
Click images for larger testes in new tab/window
As I mentioned in a previous post, I am gradually going through my photo's and placing the ones containing 'she who will not be named' into a separate folder. Well the work continues.
But in doing so I came across the pictures of these handsome chaps, the photo's were taken in a town called Mashiko, Japan,
It is famous for it's pottery and there are lots of independent potters shops to look in and some splendid examples of Mashiko-ware can be had, if that's your bag.
What they also make are these chaps, thousands and thousands of them, all over the town. they are called Tanuki which is Japanese for a Raccoon Dog . The Tanuki is considered a sort of patron spirit of the restaurant, bar trade and you will find him outside these establishments all over Japan welcoming visitors.
He's shown with an empty Sake bottle in one hand, an IOU in the other and a fat stomach.
And what got my attention unfeasibly large testicles , in fact legend has it his scrotum can cover 8 tatami mats. Oh my the japes he gets up to with his enormous balls are myriad
The children even sing songs about him.
"Tan-tan-tanuki's testicles,
there isn't even any wind
but still go swing-swing-swing."
But enough wittering, follow the links if you'd like to know more. So to my point, if there is one.
The massive Tanuki pictured above* is one of the first things visitors to the town see if they arrive by train or car ( it is on the edge of the main car park, and all the tourist buses off load here as well). You look at it, do a double take and then just smile and think "Well this must be a pretty cool town."
So my feelings are perhaps, sod the Angel of the North or the White Horse of Kent, lets every town have a huge statue of a cartoon animal with massive bollocks.
Then perhaps we wouldn't take everything so seriously. I know I wouldn't.
* I have left the Ex-bitch in the picture purely for scale (5'5'') but have carefully obscured her face, in case the evil gets out out.
