For Behind Blue Eyes

Dear Travelling Companion of Behind Blue Eyes

I understand you are apprehensive of continuing on your planned trip to Japan, the continued media hype would have anybody worried. But that’s all it is, hype made by placemen with an anti-nuclear Green agenda that would see us all back in the Stone Age (apart from them of course) read around a bit more, its actually not that bad. I wouldn’t imagine the Fukushima reactors were on your planned itinerary anyway.

I can assure you, if you change your plans now, you’ll probably never go again, I saw it too many times, people who said they were coming to visit, but even when offered free room & board in Tokyo always found something changed their plans “Well we were going to come, but  2 weeks in Florida is only £800, so maybe next year”. The disaster being another perfect excuse to put it off.

It is not a holiday for everyone, I must admit. It is a 12 hour flight for a start and not a beach in sight at the end of it. Plus to really experience the place in the time you have, you have to be on the move, Bullet train, subway, walking etc.

But when you come back and people ask you “I haven’t seen you around, have you been away?” and you answer “Yes, I’ve been to Japan”

The answer is normally “Wow, I always wanted to go there, what’s it like” (or at the moment add ‘Weren’t you scared?’) and your ‘cool’ points rocket up the chart.

I have travelled a fair bit and at no other time have I felt the both the feeling of being a ‘Stanger in a Strange Land’ and of being completely at home as there. They even drive on the ‘proper’ side of the road and the Japanese for beer is ‘biru’ [pronounced ‘beer-oo’] “Nama biru oni-gashi-masu’ ‘A draft beer if you wouldn’t mind please.

It is an experience second to none and if you are already thinking of going, you will already be in the right frame of mind.

[Although a friend of the Ex, some fat, Welsh bitch, after I’d spent the day showing her around Tokyo, I asked her “So what do you think?” to which she replied (Can’t do the accent) “Well a city’s a city, isn’t it, they all look the same. To which I responded “This one fucking doesn’t, you ignorant cow”]

As I said to Blue, if I had the money or a company that would employ me I’d go back today.

You will be welcomed with open arms (or more likely polite bows) If there’s one thing the Japanese admire its courage and to visit at such a time would gain you much respect.

Plus you’d be missing out of some of this.

View Full Album

And besides you could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

Best regards

Mr Pavlov’s Cat

Hell Of A Hat

“Hey, Check Out Samir, He Crazy!”

I must admit, were I to join an armed rebellion, my choice of headgear would be more along the lines of a Kevlar trilby or possibly homburg.

Rather than a bandana of .50 Calibre shells.

But that’s me always safety over style and why I’ll never be on the cover of GQ.

In tribute to the man above here’s Hell of a Hat – The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

.

Sakura Time

A word from Sohan, possibly the best host/chef of the best restaurant I’ve had the privilege of dining at Bourbon Street Tokyo

Click images to embiggen

Yoyogi Park – Sakura Parties

 

Of course you all know by now Sakura is Japanese for Cherry Blossom

What’s The Difference Between A Yakuza And A British MP?

Well

One is a member of a highly organised group with a strict code of ethics and a sense of personal honour. That realises that they are still part of the nation as a whole and attempts to help his fellow citizens during a time of continuing crisis.

From Society's Shadows, Yakuza Among First With Relief Supplies

Tons of relief goods have been delivered to victims of Japan's catastrophic earthquake and tsunami from a dark corner of society: the "yakuza" organised crime networks. Yakuza groups have been sending trucks from the Tokyo and Kobe regions to deliver food, water, blankets and toiletries to evacuation centres in northeast Japan, the area devastated by the March 11 earthquake and tsunami which have left at least 27,000 dead and missing.

The other is a British MP

Parent MPs Get Cash As Child Benefits Are Cut

The Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority - the new Commons watchdog - published relaxed expenses rules which will see the overall bill rise by millions of pounds. The concessions to MPs follow complaints that the existing system - set up after the expenses scandal which rocked Westminster - has been "anti-family" and bound up in red tape. Under the new rules:

MPs will be able to claim up to £2,500 in accommodation for each child up to the age of 18. The current age limit is five.
31 MPs in places like Milton Keynes, Luton, Reading and Guildford will be able to claim full accommodation costs of £19,900. They had only been allowed "London weighting" of up to £5,090.
Official credit cards can be used for hotels, stationery and office telephones rather than just travel.The budget for staff costs is going up by about £5,000.

Not A Yakuza

Disclaimer: Kitano ‘Beat’ Takeshi is not a Yakuza, but has made films about The Yakuza, the picture is for illustration only, he is the Japanese Stephen Fry, but way cooler, if he was a temperature he would be Absolute Zero.

.h/t for the Yakuza story to Brother Pavlov’s Cat

A Good Thing To Know

This is why I love hte interwebs, there is just so much useful information

Created by Oatmeal

It Seems Just One Word Would Have Done “Bollocks”

So never mind 30 words or fewer and the upset and bad feeling it caused.

It appears it was an exercise in futility as well.

Because at 9:15 this morning all of us on Fixed Term Contracts were asked to assemble in the tea-room where we were told there were to be no contract extensions after all for anybody at my office (and also the competing offices in the pool)

So I need find myself another job by May 27th or find myself back signing on across the desk from the same people I’ve been working along side for the last 15 months. (At least I know how to work the system now)

Yes it was a Fixed Term Contract, so I should not be surprised, it had to end sometime, but it had been extended once and it’s not like unemployment is going down anytime soon.

Also, it has happened to me before and I’m sure will happen again, but at the moment it still feels a bit like this.

I Bet They ‘Clang’ When He Walks*

 

Hideaki Akaiwa, in Miyagi prefecture, decided not to wait for rescue workers. With a scuba suit on, he waded through flooded streets to rescue his wife, and later his mother. He continues to look for more survivors.

Full Story Here: The Los Angeles Times

 

*His big brass ones that is

.

Nuclear Boy Has A Stomach Ache

Possibly the clearest and least ‘panicky’ explanation of events at Fukushima I’ve seen so far and funny too.

H/T The Register

“Why Is There No Looting In Japan?”

I have put the title in quotes as it is not me asking this question.

In all the guff that has come out about the still unfolding tragedy in Japan. This is the question that has annoyed me the most.

(Well that and the BBC and the Greens using the opportunity to scare people about Nuclear Power at every chance.)

Wolf Blitzer said it on CNN “Has there been looting in Japan?”and I’ve seen it repeated in other places, lately by the normally sensible Ed West in The Telegraph.

“Why Is There No Looting In Japan?”

It is the sort of question that can only has asked by someone who has never visited or lived there. I may be being over sensitive as perhaps some of the best times of my life  so far was living and working in Japan, but there seems to be an implied “What’s wrong with these people, our peasants would be looting the shit out of the place if it was them.” and that is sadly true. If you hold up a mirror all you see is yourself.

I’ll tell you why there is no looting in Japan.

Because it simply doesn’t occur to them to take stuff that does not belong to them. The sense of community and personal honour will not even contemplate such a thing.

I’ll give you a couple of personal examples;

Example The First

Once in the office, I was reading the BBC UK  and ‘tutted’ about a street mugging by a MONA of an 84 year old who had then died, all for some paltry sum.

A Japanese co-worker asked me what was wrong, so I told him. He then asked what a ‘mugging’ was. So I had to explain that it was someone using violence or the threat of violence to steal money from someone  in the street, I could see from his face that he just didn’t understand it, not through his lack of English which was excellent, but the fact that he had no frame of reference, it was like Steven Hawking trying to explain Dark Matter Theory to thee and me.

I then went on to talk about ‘Burglary’ He was aghast, the concept that someone would violate your personal space/home was an anathema to him. (Personal space/home is very important in Japan, it is inviolate) That someone would enter your HOME and take things that were not theirs was abhorrent

"But, Cat San” He said “Why do they not just get  a job if they want these things ?”

To which I had no answer and it still makes me wonder how we came to accept this as 'something that just happens'

Example The Second

The largest Japanese bank note is the ¥10,000 an ‘ichi-man’ at the time I was living there this was about  £65, a deal of money at any time, but being as a Becks was ¥600 it was probably equivalent in buying power to a £25 pound note on a night out.

A Gaijin friend was going home from Geronimo’s at about 1:00am and needed some money for the next day, so he went to the the cash point and got out ¥50,000 (It comes in 5 notes, Japanese shop keepers or Taxi drivers do not have the same conniptions as ours do when presented with a £50 note) 

I saw him the next day in the bar looking glum, I asked the problem and he replied

“I got ¥50,000 out the cash point, got a taxi home, paid for the cab with one note, but when I checked just now I only have ¥30,000 , I must have dropped one putting it into my wallet.”

To which a Japanese acquaintance also at the bar interjected.

“Have you tried the Police Station?”

We scoffed incredulously at him, Roppongi Crossing on a Friday night is as busy as Piccadilly Circus and still being naive and new to Japan we put thoughts of our own countrymen in place of his.

“No, really” he said “Let’s go over” 

So they went over the road to the Police Station, explained that he had lost an Ichi-man at around 1.00am near the CITI Bank cash point.

Lo and behold the note was produced from beneath the counter, with the correct instance of its finding and a stern admonishment to look after ones money as ‘you worked hard for it’

_______________________________________________________________________

I could go on, but I’d only bore you and I realise I’m starting to ramble.

Yes there is crime in Japan, we’ve all seen Beat Takashi’s Yakuza films. But that is ‘Organised Crime’ and is mainly about ‘Protection Rackets’ ‘Gambling’ etc.

But crimes against the person are almost unheard of and when they happen they make the National News as ours barely make the News Shopper

As the days go on, if the situation worsens there may be examples of what we would call ‘looting’ in devastated areas but I can assure it you it would be for essentials to stay alive. Not White Goods and DVD players and they will probably leave money or their name and address afterwards.

Yet to me, Japan still remains the only country in the world where the vending machine below can sit unmolested on the pavement all night and it pretty much sums up why there is no looting in Japan.

For those times when the Off-Licence is CLOSED and you don’t want to go back to the bar, Ladies and Gentlemen

The Beer Vending Machine

click for larger
(Yes that is a 1 litre can in the top left and yes that is a street ashtray
and an advertisement for cigarettes)

..

Could You Fill The Goddamn Kettle?

No really, because I know for damn sure I filled it up last time I was in the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea.

That’s all I had, one cup of tea and now the kettle is empty again. Did it evaporate between then and now? Did the Martians steal the precious, precious H2O?

Because I know I left it 95% full and now Goddamn it, it’s empty.

So how about this? In a spirit of courtesy and common humanity, next time you drain the kettle by making you and your chums cups of Low Fat Instant Cappuccino or Twinning's Camomile with Mint & Alfalfa.

That whilst said cups are brewing. YOU FILL THE GODDAMN KETTLE! you rude, ignorant, ill-mannered scumbags.

Kamakura

click pictures for bigger Buddha's

“The last building housing the statue was washed away in the tsunami of September 20th, 1498 during the Muromachi period.Since then, the Great Buddha has stood in the open air.”  [Source]

Well all friends still in The Land of the Rising Sun have now checked in, reporting no injuries to them or theirs which is a relief.

Whilst a calamity and any loss of life is saddening. As can be seen from the quote above, its happened before and will happen again.

The fact is that Japan is well prepared for events such as this  more so than any other country I should imagine. Even a Gaijin such as I had to keep ‘Earthquake kits’ containing survival rations etc. at home and in the office and take part in the regular drills. You knew your assembly point, local evacuation centre and so on. So we should be thankful that the loss of life was not greater than it would be if it hit somewhere like say Bangladesh.

So may Buddha watch over you my friends and I’ll be back for a Katsu Curry soon I hope.

.

30 Words Or Fewer

Been quiet this week I know.

On Monday we were told that to have any chance of any possible contract extensions after the end of May. [they still don’t know if there actually will be any]

We had to justify our merit to be considered for said possible extensions by detailing how we met four competencies in 30 words or fewer for each of the four, by Close of Play Thursday.

As the employment situation is still pretty grim and a job’s a job. I had to go for it, so I’ve been burning the midnight oil the last few nights.

Still they were handed in yesterday and I think I did OK and out to the pub tonight.

So let the cards fall where they might.

Remember every time you use the toilet you should always ‘Flash’

click images for bigger

It Was Long Ago And It Was Far Away

And It Was So Much Better Than It Is Today.

Hanging around hospitals and sick rooms is not good for the soul, there’s too much time on your hands doing nothing but brooding and introspection. It can leave you maudlin.

And so it brings us to today's Sunday Steinman.

Many years ago I cared deeply for a young lady and she the same for me I believe. But she wanted someone ‘safe’, which at the time I wasn’t and being young, stupid and arrogant, I was having too much fun to make the kind of compromises to my lifestyle that were required for the relationship to continue.

Mistake, who knows? Would I trade off the marvellous things I’ve done and seen since, for seventeen years of love and companionship, ah there’s the rub. See what I mean about introspection.

In the end she married an accountant and you can’t get ‘safer’ than that.

Still for a brief time there 'we were glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife’

So here’s to you KM,

This was her favourite song.

How’s That Less Packaging Campaign Working Out?

Not so good it seems, as the message hasn’t reached ‘The Man From Del Monte’

I mean WTF, individually wrapped bananas, the ‘fruit’ that actually comes with it’s own individual wrapping. I mean this is so forehead slapping, I have no further words.

The man from Del Monte he say “Fuck You Gaia”

Interesting Banana Facts

1. The Banana ‘Tree’ is actually a herb

2. The dark spots in the middle are what once were seeds, Shop bananas are produced from ‘trees’ bred from cultivars or off shoots.  Which is why in Australia you will see protected zones around banana plantations as you can’t just grow new ones from seed.

3. Banana ‘Trees’ don’t ‘walk’ it just looks that way (ask a botanist)

4. Dried Banana skins DO NOT make a hallucinogenic tobacco (ask a 5th former)

5. Bananas are a good source of Potassium, this does make them slightly more radioactive than other fruit due to higher levels of naturally occurring Potassium-40. The term ‘Banana Dose’ is used in the nuclear industry to describe minimal exposure (what japes they must have).

H/t IHEARTCHAOS

Note: Looking at it again this may just be a very clever marketing ploy to get more Brand Recognition for ‘The Man’  All publicity is good publicity as they say.

NOT OK Computer

By a process of elimination, I can only conclude that it is the mother board that is just about to fail.

No biggy, everything important is backed up to an external drive except Firefox bookmarks, which is an arse.

So commenting and blogging will be very light until a stopgap machine is in place.

Just thought you might like to know.

Posted via mobile phone (Which is still hella cool)