Stop Giving Them Ideas

Yeah, that’s what we need, teach bears to ride horses, next step Bear Cavalry,  think I’m joking just wait.

Imagine this charging towards you, but instead replace the Dragoons with angry bears.

Not so funny now is it laughing boy. One would think with the continuing rise of cow attacks this would be a bad idea. Why only yesterday they were reported as carrying out what can only be seen as a further reconnaissance mission.  Note the quotes

'It used to be sheep, and that's bad enough, but cows are a whole different kettle of fish.”

Ignoring the rather confused analogy , the sheep obviously reported back that it was to much for them, send in the cows, natures shock troops.

“It's frightening for many of the older people here to have cows walking down the street, peering in their windows, it's ridiculous.”

See a reconnaissance, just wait.

I mean teach bears to ride horses what ever next , Jesus Christ On A Bike say it ain’t so

We are sowing the seeds of our own destruction. We might as well throw in the towel now before rampaging armies of Kodiak Bears riding  GIANT NAZI COWS  take to the streets.

I for one welcome our new animal overlords

A Kodiak Bear Riding A GIANT NAZI COW
[artists impression, click image to enlarge]

 

[Ed note: Another lazy place holding post I’m afraid, the real life situation is getting me down, the job hunting is fruitless, you don’t even get acknowledgments these days let alone interviews, add in traipsing back and forwards to the hospital to visit Nan all the time, Also it was my birthday Monday and birthdays are never fun when you’re out of work, ]

Picture Ed FAIL of the Day

Ok slightly pedantic, but this is their JOB people.

Not A Glock
click for larger

“But how can you tell Pavlov’s Cat you pedant?”

Well it could be that I know that the Safety Catch on a Glock is in the trigger (which it isn’t above) and that the frame of a Glock is made from an advanced polymer (again which the above isn’t) or that I have a 1:1 Airsoft Glock 17

Or I could just Google Images Glock Pistol  and see that that is not a Glock Pistol.

Now as you can see the image was lifted from somebody called ‘Internet’ so why didn’t the Picture Ed do what I did, it is his/her job after all.

This is a Glock 17  a bit of a difference.

Actual Story Here

 

Update: Prompted by Mark in the comments, for those of you dying to know, the actual pistol in the first image is a Sig-Sauer P220 and the image was lifted from here.

Aaaah How Cute Is That, Now Kill It Dead

A bear cub that gained fame when it had its photo snapped with a Newfoundland RCMP officer has been killed because it was feared to be too friendly.

Cute Original Story Here

Horrifying Follow Up Story

Sometimes it seems bears just can’t catch a break.

This is also why some people may think I am stand-offish and aloof, but see what happens if you’re considered ‘too friendly’ .  Just saying is all

‘Cause Tramps Like Us Baby We Were Born To Run

Sad news about the death of Saxophonist Clarence Clemons 

It’s a sunny morning, going to go for a drive with the windows down  and this soundtrack.

Come And ‘Ave A Go

If you think you’re hard enough

click image for story

Whilst being able to break a mans arm with a wing (allegedly) would be enough for most Avian Assassins. Once again we see a swan trying to punch out of its weight class.

Admittedly it is not as much of a mismatch as last time,  but still. c’mon swan, try something a bit smaller to start with, maybe a Smart Car or a G-Whizz, remember what happed to the Koala.

 

In other news: Real life is unfortunately not any better, so apologies for lack of regular input.

The Toeing of the Cat

The Policeman is obviously a cat person.

Anyone who is owned by a cat, will know this pose and I have never seen it better illustrated.

They sit inside or outside the door, looking wistfully at you or mewing piteously  with occasional glances in your direction. “If only you would please come open this door, I really want to get in or out” they say. “I know there is a perfectly good cat-flap, but I really want to use this door and you are my slave after all”

Then in thrall to their Cat-Jedi Mind Trick, you get up and open the door for them and then what happens, they take one step forward and stop, paws on the door sill and hold. So you stand there waiting for the cat to make up its mind whether it wants to go in or out.

(It could however be some cat dominance game. “Alright Tuggers you’re late tonight” “Yeah Smokey, I made him wait 5 minutes holding the door before I left. The dick” “Nice” )

Then you realise, “Wait a second! I’ve been standing here like a dick for five minutes, holding the door open, waiting for the cat to go in or out, I don’t even do that for the wife/girlfriend/significant other.”

So then commences the ritual of ‘The Toeing of the Cat” a gentle shoving of the rear of the cat with the foot as illustrated in the picture above. Normally accompanied by the uttering the sacred phrase “In or Out it’s your choice”

The cat will then either proceed on its way or do a neat U-turn around the toe and return to its radiator, your bed or digging for gold behind the sofa, in either case acting as if that had been its intention all along.

Not however for one minute am I criticising cats, this blogger for one welcomes our new feline overlords.

See, Judges Can Do It When They Want

Recently in the comments to another bloggers post about ridiculously short sentences, I opined as to whether there was a reason why we do not sentence consecutively anymore but always concurrently.

Was there perhaps a legal reason, after all even with sentencing guidelines, 18 months for this, 6 months for that etc. if served consecutively would add up to a decent bit of jail time.

It appears that there is no reason why not as this malevolent turd found out.

Finally, a judge who gets it: He jails stunned burglar for 15 years to protect 'dignity of elderly'

The jail term – a year longer than the maximum sentence for house burglary – was handed to Leonard Johnston for three serious break-ins and assaults on two of his victims.

He looked shocked, having expected to get a ‘discount’ after pleading guilty to the offences.

I bet he did, hoping I suppose to get a few 3’s & 5’s to be served concurrently for a total of 5 years inside, out in 2.5 , in the words of Nelson Munce “Ha Ha”

Whist we wait for the inevitable appeal, I would still like to doff my cap to Judge Sean Morris

Top Judge

Sub Editor Fail of the Day

Rods perhaps?

Do they ever read what they’ve written?

Actually fail twice as this is not from a headline accumulator, so must have been written separately

Belligerent Beaver Bites Buttocks*

click image for story

Sad story though, poor thing was rabid. so not a planned attack.

But a 2 ½ stone beaver <snork> . And as JuliaM pointed out any mention of Beavers is teh funneh

No, Stop, You’re Killing Me!

 

*Yes it was the leg, but as before, alliteration sells the story

We All Do Things We Regret

But I wonder if anyone has shown this to Mick and Dave recently.

Caveat: May cause 80’s flashbacks, those of a nervous disposition do not watch, once seen cannot be unseen.
(If you can make it to the end, you’re a better man than I am Gunga Din. my eyes they burn)

Fishing For Sticklebacks

Just to let you know, posting may be light for a while [I don’t say ‘will’ as I’ve said it before and then done a post a day for a month]

Life is a bit in the shitter at the moment, as you know I lost my job last Friday, I’ve had one interview, but not a sniff of anything else at the moment. Then yesterday my Nan (of the fractured hip) called to say she couldn’t move and was in a deal of pain. So once again an ambulance was summoned, unfortunately unlike last time, it was followed by an 11 hour wait in A&E for her to be admitted for tests and an orthopaedic consult.

So job hunting is going to be split between hospital visits and dealing with social care for when she gets out, which I don’t really need at the moment.

I know some people have it a lot worse and I shouldn’t be moaning.

But there are times when all you want to be is to be 4 years old again, on a spring day, in a river, in your wellies, net in hand, fishing for sticklebacks.

 

click image for larger

Catching sticklebacks
In a river, net in hand -
Four years old again.

                                          Macheath