Pavlov's Cat

The King Tries To Hit Back

2012-01-15T09:29:00.001Z

[It seems this has become a theme after all, mainly because I am stuck in Leeds for most of time at present for training and my focus is elsewhere also I have no ‘personal’ internet access, the choices are £1 for 10 mins on a PC in the lobby or £20 for a days Hi-speed access in the room]

It seems Burger King Japan have launched a sort of response to Wendy’s Premium range

I have to say colour me unimpressed, I mean Nacho’s in a burger, what’s that all about, I can’t see how that would enhance it at all , there’s also a lot of salad in there which personally I think is a bad thing, if you’ve got Avocado why do you still need the lettuce?

They are still not a patch on the XT Steakhouse, must try harder Burger King Japan

Quelle Surprise

2012-01-10T17:52:00.002Z

Remind me again Pavlov's Cat what job was it you were doing, when you and your fellow Fixed Term Agreements were told that due to the improving economy none of your contracts were not being renewed.

It wasn't this one was it ?

Oh it was, will you be applying again?

Now steady on , there's no need for that sort of language

It Was Always ‘Wrong’: Reprise

2012-01-06T21:55:00.000Z

Excuse me but “AAAAAAAAARGH, it was always ‘WRONG’ you twunts”

I refer you to my earlier comment

UPDATE: The Daily Mail have now changed the headline to

Widow murdered at river cottage: Police fear grandmother who lived alone was stabbed to death in botched burglary

Which is something I guess.

More Burgers YOU Will Not Be Eating Today

2012-01-05T06:23:00.001Z

Yes this is becoming a feature it seems

Whilst other countries are treated to burgers with a bit of a ‘Wow’ factor ,Most notably Japan it seems. (But not just Japan , keep reading to the bottom) we here in the UK are left with the McDonalds Festive Deluxe, which was neither Festive, nor Deluxe.

As has been reported elsewhere, the burger chain Wendy’s is to re-enter the Japanese market with a range of premium burgers, most notably the

Fois Gras Rossini
(feat. fois gras & truffle terrine)

Not for you? Ok, How about;

The Avocado Wasabi　

Still no? Are you sure I can’t tempt you with a;

Truffle & Porcini Grilled Chicken

No again? Well you’re a hard person to please, so lets go for a plain Ol’

Chilli Burger

[source Wendy’s Japan]

On a side note , Wendy’s are my favourite burger chain, the fries are awesome, They made a brief showing in the UK in the 80’s in London, however the franchise was owned at the time by Whitbread breweries, who realised they could make more of a profit margin by selling a flat loaf of bread with tomato sauce and rubber cheese on top for £10.00 to mug punters and so converted the few outlets into Pizza Huts, For that reason I have not to this day set foot in a Pizza Hut ( Well that and I just don’t like pizza)

However, not to be outdone in signature burgers it seems our continental cousins have entered the fray for featured burgers.

To celebrate the launch of Star Wars Episode 1 in 3D , Quick( a Benelux franchise) are celebrating with the below.

Can’t wait for that?

How about on the 30th January

[Source Quick website requires Flash].

Sub Ed Never Seen ‘Shark Week’

2011-12-29T20:10:00.001Z

It really is now a matter of public record that Daily Mail reporters and picture editors are stunningly ignorant about the natural world.

Like the time they labelled a Whale Shark a ‘mammal’

So it’s not even worth a Face/Palm when you come across something like this in a story about an attack by a pod of Killer Whales on a school of Sharks. You’d finish up black & blue.

Yeah don’t think that was an informed decision on the sharks part. What’s it going to do now? Wait till they’ve gone away? Walk into town and catch a bus to the next bay over?

Dickheads

[Not sure where the enormous beats came from, maybe the whales were laying down some wicked drum & bass as a soundtrack]

Today’s Cow (ish) Attack

2011-12-28T17:46:00.001Z

Whilst we wait for Mark Wadsworth to find the obligatory Yule Tide UK Cow Attack story.

Normally involving an elderly person just out for ‘a nice walk’ accompanied by an over excitable Yorkshire Terrier called ‘Trevor’

Here is a cow (sort of) attack story from the lovely island of Hawaii ,HI

Man attacks four outside Kona bar with cow's femur, police say

Hawaii County police said a 45-year-old man injured four men, one seriously, with the thigh bone of a cow in a fight outside a Kailua-Kona bar Saturday.

Rest of story

But they don’t explain why he has such a thing in the first place, which to me is the most interesting question.

Perhaps he wanted to go all ‘Sampson’ on them, but was unable to come up with the jaw bone of an ass.

Still a cows femur, can’t be that bad can it.

Oh right.

Library picture
(not from my library!)

30 Words Or Less

2011-12-27T08:43:00.001Z

I found I had been Bookedfaced by an old friend when I returned from a Boxing Day soiree.

Sigh

Probably best not to do these things after copious amounts of Becks, Madeira and stilton

It’s an interesting exercise though almost like Haiku writing.

Today In The Town Of David

2011-12-25T01:21:00.001Z

Those of you who read this blog [and I thank you] know I’m not a religious person, Raised a Catholic till confirmation, which I refused to take, educated in a school founded for the education of the sons of missionaries (C of E), it didn’t stick. I’ve read about Zen, Buddhism, the Koran, Dawkins etc.

If you want to label me, I suppose I’m an Agnostic, I’m a scientist at heart, I want proof, but I’m going to hedge my bets until then, but on bad days sometimes I wish I had ‘Faith’.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, I am a firm believer in Christian morality, whether I believe the carpenter from Nazareth was the Son of God or not, is not important, the message is something I can believe in.

Have a Happy Christmas

Update: Judge Couldn’t Use It In Sentence

2011-12-23T07:17:00.001Z

If you recall back in the mists of the 25th November, we had the following exchange between Judge and Defendant

Judge Roger Chappel warned him of "a substantial custodial sentence".
The teenager asked: "What do you mean by substantial? I don't know that word."
The judge replied: "Long."

I postulated at the time whether;

This will also be another case of a Judge who does not know the meaning of the word ‘long’.

Well, good job I wasn’t taking bets as it turns out the Judges dictionary is indeed different to the rest of the general publics where it comes to the definition of both ‘long’ and ‘substantial’

Kichenside received a sentence of two years and six months for robbery, two years for violent disorder and 16 months for burglary, to run consecutively. He also received a further 16 months, to run concurrently, for a second count of burglary.

Now doing the maths that comes to 5 years 10 months inside. Now you may consider that a long stretch as does the continuing disingenuous MSM which trumpets in the headline.

And it would be if he was to spend that time in prison. But you, me and the desert nomads of Ulan Bator all now know that there is no way he will be ‘locked up for 5 years.”

So how did our miscreant Ryan Kichenside (18) react to this ‘substantial’ sentence considering :

He has ten previous convictions for offences including shoplifting, threatening a witness, assault and possessing an offensive weapon, was under a youth rehabilitation at the time of the offence. [Note: 18 years old]

Well

As he left the dock, he shouted to friends and family: 'I only have to do half, it’s a walk in the park.'

I wonder if the Judge was still in the court and heard that, or more likely he was back in chambers for a large sherry, basking in the glow of a job well done

The British justice system is broken and not fit for purpose

Perfect For The Office Party

2011-12-22T07:00:00.000Z

If you live in Japan that is.

Yes once again we in the UK are gypped, bilked and generally ignored when it come to burgery experimentation [Ed. Is this turning into a feature? PC: Maybe]

click for larger

For more Festive Burgeryness visit Burger King Japan

Not to be outdone McDonalds Japan comes in with the Big America range

Featuring the Grand Canyon Burger

Adjective Fail

2011-12-21T21:11:00.001Z

The excellent Jihad Watch often describes some followers of the ROP as Misunderstanders of Islam.

However you can’t get more of a misunderstander than the headline writer at The Portland Press Herald. I really don’t need to explain why this is so very wrong do I?

h/t to Sippican Cottage for bringing it to my attention.

Kim Jong-Il Looking Through A Trap Door At Some Meat

2011-12-20T00:08:00.001Z

No really

Did every house come with a Kim Flap , just in case he wanted to pop in and look at dinner?

Possibly, we all know how much he liked looking at things except cucumbers

A Crooked Public Servant? Say It Ain’t So

2011-12-18T20:14:00.001Z

A quick précis

Employed as Director of Low Cost Housing in Chelsea, Maine USA on $360,000 per year

Only worked 15 full work days in Chelsea in past year (rest taken up with meetings, junkets etc.)

Resigned when salary came to light and investigation due to start.

On the day he resigned he claimed back $81,578 in untaken holiday , also claimed $114,237 in payment for years of unused sick time.

He wrote both the cheques to himself as he was the approver

Authorities tried to stop the cheques, but he had already cashed the vacation one, no word on the other.

Read the full story

Chelsea’s housing boss was rarely on the job

Just 15 full days in town this year, records show

I would imagine in council offices all over the world this mans picture is going up as something to aspire to.

Your Love Alone Is Not Enough

2011-12-14T07:10:00.001Z

Hello there, how are you all?

I realise I’ve not been here for a while, Fear not, I have not been rendered rheumatoid by a ruminant, ravaged by a rabbit, gored by a goat or bewildered by a Wildebeest.

The simple reason is the new job started ‘proper’ about two odd weeks ago, first part of training done, now on to ‘shadowing’ which unfortunately is not as exciting as it sounds as well as dipping the toe into delivering training whilst being supervised.

So what is left of the little grey cells is being pushed to the limit, as anyone who has changed industries will know, whilst the framework is basically the same in any job, picking up the industry specific stuff is tough. (and I’ve done this about 5+ times now, it doesn’t get easier)

I’ve also got to get used to being on the road after being stuck in offices for most of my career, yesterday Peckham, today I’m in ~~Cuntish~~ Kentish Town, tomorrow Kingston upon Thames, planning that only a Field Ops Controller based in Leeds that has never been to ‘That There London’ can achieve.

I have not forgotten you all best beloved, the first thing I do after getting in and making a cupatea is sit down to FeedDemon and read all your musings of the day, I read them all from A to Z, JamesH to JuliaM [Ed: that’s J to J you dickhead]

It turns out what I would have written has already been covered and probably better than I could have done,. so keep the good work, people are listening,

What?

Oh the post title, one of the small joys of spending time on the train or in the car is I get to listen to more music than previously.

This week I has mainly been listening to rock guitars.

That Such Things Exist Is Worrying

2011-12-01T06:05:00.001Z

That they are being used to keep ‘The People’ away from Parliament and the PTB is positively scary.

The PTB are ‘forting up’

Originals & story via The Daily Mail

It Was After His Nuts, D’Ye See

2011-11-30T17:52:00.001Z

I’m not sure if this goes under ‘animal attacks’ or potential Darwin Award nominee [Ed. use both]

Man Aims For Squirrel, Hits His Foot Instead

A Benton County, Ore., sheriff's officer says a 36-year-old Monroe man told deputies he was startled by a squirrel that ran up his left leg so he fired at it but hit his foot instead.

The Speaker’s New Portrait

2011-11-28T20:55:00.001Z

There’s a lot being said about the Speaker’s new coat of arms, a mere £17,000.

However there is also a portrait for another £22,000 , this may seem excessive, but is actually quite reasonable as I happen to know this was the second portrait commissioned after the first was rejected for reasons unknown.

click to make bigger (the picture that is)

I know it’s a cheap shot, it’s not big or clever. But then again neither is he.

It Wouldn’t Be The Weekend Would It

2011-11-26T09:33:00.001Z

without at least one Daily Mail Sub-Editor FAIL

Oh wait another one. They are swallows actually, says so in the story

clickity image for story

Can You Use It In A Sentence?

2011-11-25T19:12:00.001Z

Jail warning... and a vocabulary lesson for riots scooter hoodie

Judge Roger Chappel warned him of "a substantial custodial sentence". The teenager asked: "What do you mean by substantial? I don't know that word." The judge replied: "Long."

So we have a piece of inner city pond scum who doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘substantial’ [no surprise really]

And yet one wonders if this will also be another case of a Judge who does not know the meaning of the word ‘long’.

Out in just TWO years: 'Soft' sentence for serial teen offender caught on camera fleeing after brazen stabbing of a young man in broad daylight

Plus other too numerous to mention, just read JuliaM most days

I will await the actual sentencing with interest.

A Turn Of Phrase

2011-11-24T23:07:00.001Z

Raedwald is in Krakow, Poland, for what reason I know not. But;

The ghastly EU symbol was confined to something the size of a postcard on a few civic projects obliged to acknowledge funding, but there was no pride or belief in it - in complete contrast to Budapest, which revelled in EU membership as a Labrador revels in cow shit.

I’ve personally seen the same as in Budapest in; Ireland, Greece and Spain, all glorifying the the largess of the EU.

How you left now?

I Don’t See How Arguing Is Going To Help

2011-11-24T14:48:00.001Z

It’s Just Crazy Enough To Work

2011-11-24T10:26:00.001Z

Civil servants 'to staff borders' during strikes

Civil servants from across Whitehall are being lined up to act as border staff at UK ports and airports during next week's public sector strikes.

After all those that are actually doing the job don’t seem particularly effective

Net migration to UK in 2010 at record high

Annual net migration to the UK in 2010 was 252,000 - the highest calendar year figure on record, figures show.
The data from the Office for National Statistics showed immigration remained steady at 591,000 but there was a drop in the number of people leaving the UK.

BTW. Aren’t the Borders Agency people Civil servants as well? I suppose

‘Different Civil servants, not the usual ones, but rather other ones from different offices, but still government employees ‘to staff’ borders’ during strikes

Isn’t as catchy.

Weekend Work Experience Sub-Eds Clock On

2011-11-18T21:01:00.001Z

Over at The Daily Fail

Expect plenty more by Sunday

Why You Always Assume It Is Loaded

2011-11-17T17:48:00.001Z

click to play

Aurora Bore-ollocks More Like

2011-11-15T07:30:00.001Z

Once again I find myself in latitudes far above those I am commonly used to. However as there was a break in what seemed to be a perpetually occluded sky and I have been placed in a North facing room on an upper floor, I thought that I would spend some time on the balcony with a glass of wine and a cigarette and take in the celestial firework show that is the Aurora Borealis or 'Northern Lights' as it were.

File Picture

And what did I see? Nothing, nada, zip, not a thing. The sky remained resolutely empty of stunning cascades of light, there were a few glows on the horizon, but I believe they were perhaps the cooking fires of the local tribesmen.

Of course first thing this morning I complained to the Duty Manager at Reception, only to be laughed at, he said something along the lines of [I can't do the accent] ;

"Eeeee lad, tha knows you cant see T'Northern Lights frum here. Tha has ta ga foorther North than this-un"

Further North? I don't even think that's possible

The North as envisioned by Pavlov's Cat

Where The Rose Is Sown

2011-11-13T10:24:00.001Z

Saturday Sub-Ed Monkey Strikes

2011-11-12T19:12:00.001Z

From where else The Daily Fail

By Toutatis!!!!

2011-11-12T09:00:00.000Z

Yes I know, some people have far too much time on their hands and it has become common amongst grant seeking academics to hang their latest research on popular culture, especially if they can make it a bit controversial.

Asterix history debunked but Gaul myth will endure

The Asterix comic books, first created in 1961, have done much to mould popular beliefs about the Gauls through their diminutive, moustachioed hero and his corpulent sidekick Obelix.[Ed. ‘Well covered’]

But the books by René Goscinny and illustrated by Albert Uderzo have got it almost all wrong, according to the exhibition "Les Gaulois" under way at Paris' Cite des Sciences.

For a start, the Gauls were not forest dwellers but lived in complex towns and villages, aerial archaeology suggests, clearing woodland to raise cattle, sheep and pigs, and farming cereal.

But then we come to

What!!!!!

Any fule kno that Obelix is a Menhir sculptor and delivery man , he wouldn’t know a dolmen even if the sky were to fall on his head

I guess the author has never read an Asterix book in his life either that or perhaps he is a Roman and as everyone knows “These Romans are crazy”

As a ‘well covered’ gentleman myself, I feel it is my duty to point out another example of ignorant, not bothered to research journalism.

ADDENDUM
Something I didn’t know, that literally made me smile.

Obelix's name is a pun on the French word obélisque (obelisk), suggested by rotund physique and his habit of casually carrying heavy stone monuments (menhirs) around with him. In fact "obelisk" is also (in both French and English) a variant of the word obelus (obèle), a typographical mark ("†") often found in a companion role to that of the asterisk, after which his friend Asterix is named. [Ed. Nice]

Very, very clever and a huge tip of the hat to René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo, the Asterix books from my youth still find their way into the bathroom on occasion when there is a shortage of reading materiel.

Half A Beast?

2011-11-08T07:00:00.003Z

Well may be,

This week I am currently staying in hotel room number 333

Last night in the bar, a fellow trainee was bemoaning the fact that perhaps the weeks starting a new job and undergoing intensive training was possibly not the best time to give up smoking and that he was 'dying for a cigarette'

'Well" I said "You are welcome to one of mine" indicating the packet of B&H and lighter sitting on the table and so with a snatch and run worthy of the Artful Dodger he was away to the outdoors.

I'm sure Screwtape would have approved

Kicking Kangaroo KO’s Kiddie

2011-11-05T14:19:00.001Z

From the Land of Wonder another tale of Roo Rage.

Toddler attacked by kangaroo which tried to claw him to death as he played in his back garden

A two-year-old boy playing with his toy wheelbarrow was bowled over by a kangaroo which then pinned him down and tried to claw him to death.
The screaming child's terrified parents ran at the animal and managed to chase it away - but not before it left Zakkiah Galea with severe wounds to his face and body.
His mother Nicole Galea last night told how the aggressive kangaroo left her in fear that her son had received fatal injuries in the attack on the family's ten-acre property at Port Macquarie, in northern New South Wales.

Well he seems to be getting better, but it must have been a nasty few minutes for the youngster. Still he will have learnt the important lesson that animals are not our friends.

However one confused commentator seems not to have read the story properly

One can only hope that it is a spoof for poops and giggles, however given the general standard of commenting in The Daily Fail it probably isn’t.

And once again it gives me a chance to post a picture of me almost being KILLED TO DEATH by a marauding marsupial ( Note the clever distraction technique, while the stealth duck goes in for the lower extremities)

I Bet There Were Some Disappointed Footballers

2011-11-02T21:52:00.001Z

when they clicked this link

Try Aldi's new Four Bird Roast - it's perfect for Christmas

Quote of the Day

2011-10-29T11:38:00.001+01:00

"It was the relentless pursuit of beaver that opened the great Northwest."

New Democratic Party MP Pat Martin.

he he he said beaver

£5.99. Surely You Can’t Be Serious

2011-10-29T09:31:00.001+01:00

I am serious ……..and don’t call me Shirley.

Hello, I’m back from the ‘The North’ for a brief stop over and laundry, the Panserbjørne haven’t got me yet and I’m driving back up tomorrow.

The hotel they have us in is very nice and was probably quite exclusive in its day, although it’s looking a bit ‘worn’ at present, but it still has a few pretensions of grandeur i.e it is not cheap.

There’s no bar/snack menu, everything has to be ordered off the restaurant menu and at £13.50 for what is fish & chips no matter how much you tart it up and £15.50 for a cheese burger and chips even if it is 100% Aberdeen Angus, well let’s just say there’s not much left of the ‘per diem’ if you eat in. Fortunately there’s a 2xMeals for £10 pub just down the road so that’s sorted.

But really £5.99 to watch a 31 year old film is taking the piss, did I mention there’s no free wifi either, no, if you want to connect to the net you can use the in-room ‘HI-SPEED INTERNET’ a bargain at only £4.95 for 15 minutes or £19.95 for 24 hours (and that’s clock time, not time actually connected)

So I will be travelling back with a portable hard drive loaded with movies & TV and a £10 PAYG dongle.

An amusing (to me) aside, As an exercise, we individually had to prepare and deliver a 10 minute presentation on a random subject with very little time and materials. After I’d finished the trainer seemed impressed and asked if I’d ever done any presenting before, how I chuckled [inwardly of course]

Still the breakfasts are good (and inclusive) Although I have no idea what the green stuff is doing there, perhaps it fell off a pot plant in passing.

Live Long and Prosper

North To The Wall

2011-10-24T06:30:00.001+01:00

I am heading North today to start my new job, the farthest north I’ve been in many years, Leeds in fact. Last time I was in Leeds was for a demo for the Miners Strike in 1984, I wasn’t personally demonstrating, but I was the only one in the students union they could find that could drive the minibus.

I will be living out of a hotel till Friday and as I don’t have a personal lap top , blogging and commentating will be by phone if at all. Just letting my loyal reader know that I haven’t abandoned him/her.

I will be oop there weekdays for the next 4-6 weeks, I probably won’t have much time for exploring, but any tips or places of interest to recommend please do so in the comments.

A friend has already given me one useful tip on how to recognise a dyslexic Yorkshireman, apparently he’ll be the one wearing the cat flap.

TTFN

Want To Be A Dictator? It’s About Knowing When To Quit

2011-10-21T20:06:00.001+01:00

Much is being made of the capture and summary execution of Colonel Ghadaffi, about the fall of all such men and all the ‘Sic semper tyrannis’ that entails.

The Daily Mail even lists the downfall of The World’s Infamous Dictators …..and how they met their violent ends

It would seem being a dictator and tyrant is a pretty hazardous job or is it?

Yet they could only come up with six, of which one, Adolf Hitler committed suicide and another Saddam Hussein was executed after a trial according to the laws of his own country.

So I thought I’d take a look at how some of the other ‘Infamous Dictators’ ended their days.

Name	Country Ruled	Where Died	Age at Death	Cause of Death
Idi Amin	Uganda	Saudi Arabia	78	Natural Causes
Jean-Bedel Bokkasa	Central African Republic	CAR after lavish exile in France	75	Natural Causes
Francois ‘Papa Doc’ Duvalier	Haiti	Haiti (in office)	65	Natural Causes
Erich Honecker	East Germany	Chile	81	Natural Causes
Mobutu Sese Seko	Zaire	Morocco	66	Natural Causes
Augusto Pinochet	Chile	Chile	91	Natural Causes
Pol Pot	Cambodia	Cambodia (after exile in Thailand)	72	Natural Causes [still debated]
Alfredo Stroessner	Paraguay	Brazil	93	Natural Causes
Suharto	Indonesia	Indonesia	86	Natural Causes
Joseph Stalin	Russia	Russia (in office)	74	Natural Causes
Mao Tse Tung	China	China (in office)	82	Natural Causes
Kim Il-sung	North Korea	North Korea (in office)	82	Natural Causes
Francisco Franco	Spain	Spain (in office)	82	Natural Causes
Enver Hoxha	Albania	Albania (in office)	76	Natural Causes
Marshall Tito	Yugoslavia	Yugoslavia	87	Natural Causes
Ferdinand Marcos	Philippines	Hawaii, USA	72	Natural Causes
Nicolae Ceaușescu	Romania	Romania	71	Executed
Ruhollah Khomeini	Iran	Iran	86	Natural Causes

Still Going
Name	Country Ruled	Where Now	Age	Circumstances
Jean-Claude’ Baby Doc’ Duvalier	Haiti	France	60	Free At Large
Mengistu Haile Mariam	Ethiopia	Zimbabwe	74	Free At Large
Manuel Noriega	Panama	Panama	77	Prison
Charles Taylor	Liberia	Netherlands	63	On trial for war crimes
Kim Jong-Il	North Korea	North Korea (in office)	70	Supreme Leader
Fidel Castro	Cuba	Cuba	85	In Office
Robert Mugabe	Zimbabwe	Zimbabwe	87	President

So that’s an average age of 79 at death for some of the worst dictator's and tyrants of modern times, all of whom died pretty well taken care of.

So far from being the risky career choice that the MSM make out, being a brutal despot & tyrant is a pretty safe occupation

Makes you think

Once Again It’s Japan With The Burger WIN

2011-10-20T13:39:00.001+01:00

or Not Coming To These Shores EVER

After the disappointment of not getting; The Meat Monster , The Mighty Mega Tamago and the Windows 7 Whopper

Burger King to offer all-you-can-eat Whopper campaign for two weeks

TOKYO — Burger King Japan is once again holding its “B"iking campaign from Nov 1-15. It’s an all-you-can-eat Whopper campaign. If you order a Whopper set meal, you can order as many extra Whoppers as you can eat within a 30-minute period

Or if you don’t fancy that there’s always the XT Steak House

Click to go LARGE
TOKYO — XT stands for “extra thick.” The beef patty weighs 155g, compared to the 113-gram Whopper. It comes with cheese, shredded potato and grilled onions, topped with Chaliapin sauce (named after a Russian opera singer).
As part of a campaign to release the XT Steakhouse, through Oct 10, you can add your choice of lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, bacon, and egg to the burger for free, in line with Burger King’s mantra “Have it your way.”

However I might personally give the new McDonalds KBQ a miss

click for larger

The K is for Korean

The KBQ is a 100% beef patty topped with “sweet & spicy” bulgogi, melted cheese, crisp lettuce and spicy Korean gochujang sauce, all on a sesame seed bun.

Sources: Japan Today : Burger King Japan : McDonalds Japan

Remember The Tub Of Lard?

2011-10-20T10:22:00.001+01:00

In all the hoo-ha of the debate about the possibility of a Referendum on the EU, calls for three Line Whips and email campaigns to your MP’s to let him know your views.

I am always behoved to remind people of the words of Roy Hattersley MP for Birmingham Sparbrook 1964-1997 who said in 2005.

“For most of my 33 years in Westminster, I was able to resist Sparkbrook’s demands about the great issues of national policy – otherwise, my first decade would have been spent opposing all Commonwealth immigration and my last calling for withdrawal from the European Union.”

This is not a Con/Lab/Lib-Dem thing or a Left/Right thing or even a Pro/Anti EU thing . This is a Political Class against the People thing, a THEM vs. US

Always remember THEIR contempt for US is TOTAL

Inconceivable

2011-10-19T12:53:00.001+01:00

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

You know when so many people use a word or a phrase over and over again in the wrong way or the wrong situation it ceases to have any meaning or connection to what it was originally intended to convey, a bit like ‘decimate’ so it seems to have happened to ‘Human Rights’

Family told to pay £225 after boy breaks teacher's Tiffany necklace

from the article

The school's head, Sashi Sivaloganathan, is said to have told Zak's parents that it was a teacher's "human right" to wear whatever they chose to school, no matter how impractical.

Mrs Marquand said: "What about my son's human rights? He has a disability, it isn't his fault he behaves the way he does."

Sigh

You really want to give them a High Five

In the face

With a chair

No Bear, Honey & Jams Are Aisle 6

2011-10-18T16:28:00.001+01:00

A Boo-Boo Booby Trap

2011-10-14T08:30:00.001+01:00

Man pokes dead bear, gets electric shock

LIVINGSTON, Mont. - Authorities say a bow hunter in southern Montana suffered serious injuries from an electric shock when he used a knife to poke a dead bear that was lying on live wires.

Bears always seem come out the loser in encounters with humans, even if they win the first round they come off worse in the end. Score one for the bears. Although If the bears planned this and it was not just happenstance it shows remarkable cunning.

Where The Deer And The Antelope Try And Kill You. Part II

2011-10-12T12:00:00.001+01:00

And in this case succeed.

click image for story

The animal apocalypse is coming people, don’t say you weren’t warned.

That Should Fix It

2011-10-12T11:30:00.001+01:00

So the HoP Clock Tower is off the vertical, due in some part I suppose by the river of shit that flows past it daily (and no, I don’t mean the Thames)

My solution is to knock it back upright using the cannon on an M1 Abrams Main Battle Tank

There may be some collateral damage to the people inside.

But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Where The Deer And The Antelope Try And Kill You

2011-10-11T11:04:00.001+01:00

After all the hoo-ha about rampaging deer

Comes this tale of a hit and run from the South African veldt, Don’t tell me that with all the space out there that this was an ‘accident’ .

h/t Scary Duck

Don’t Do It Yogi

2011-10-06T10:56:00.001+01:00

"the ranger isn't going to like this!"

Bear breaks into Macclenny home, eats birthday cake

The bear apparently broke into a home at 2 a.m. Monday and grabbed food, including a birthday cake, before ambling off, according to commission spokeswoman Karen Parker.

Ha ha ha, sneaky

Wildlife officials set a trap baited with cupcakes, since this bear seems to have a sweet tooth.

Tee Hee Hee

Biologists tracking the bear say it had moved several miles south of Macclenny by Tuesday morning, and when it's captured, it will be put down.

Ah, not so funny anymore.

And as if bears didn’t have enough trouble at the moment

A New York man came up with an unusual plan to hurt his ex-girlfriend: kill a bear, skin it, and then dress up in the carcass and attack her.

The Associated Press reports that Clyde Gardner, of Malone, N.Y., planned to wear the bear hide and claws to attack his ex-girlfriend and kill her, leaving no trace of his foot or fingerprints at the scene of the crime.

Genius, even Colombo would have trouble with that one

Bears have still not recovered from this

Answer, Came There None

2011-10-05T11:00:00.001+01:00

There’s a lot of fluttering amongst the Lefties and the usual suspects that Education Secretary Michael Gove has BARRED or BANNED schools from attending a Palestinian Literary Festival

Evening Standard: Michael Gove bars schools from Palestinian literary festival

Children from local schools had been invited to take part in workshops at the festival and enter a creative writing competition on the themes of human rights and children under occupation.

Who could complain about that? I wonder what the reason for barring them was?

A spokesman for the DfE said: "The Secretary of State wrote to a number of schools seeking an assurance that they were not in breach of their duty under section 407 of the Education Act 1996 requiring that where political issues are brought to the attention of pupils, they are offered a balanced presentation of opposing views.

That seems fine to me , I like the fact that children should not have a one sided agenda forced on them at an early age. Make your own mind up, that’s what I was taught at school.

Not anymore it seems.

"All the schools responded confirming that they are not taking part in the festival."

So they actually BANNED themselves rather than arrange ‘a balanced presentation of opposing views’ Because that would mean hearing what Israel had to say about it all and that really will not do.

No, That’s Bears* Lady

2011-10-04T11:15:00.001+01:00

Not Deer

Mule deer attacks Idaho woman and man who tried to rescue her

BOISE -- Wildlife managers say a mule deer injured a woman near her rural Idaho home and the man who came to her rescue in an unusual, though not rare attack.
They say Sue Panter tried to play dead, hoping it would discourage the deer.

Two things

They say Sue Panter tried to play dead, hoping it would discourage the deer.

Face/Palm

Although there is always the chance that Sue Panter is a Daily Mail Picture Sub Editor in which case it’s an easy mistake to make. Remember these are the people who can’t tell a rifle from a shotgun.

an unusual, though not rare attack.

WTF! I keep telling you dudes, animal apocalypse is coming.

A handy guide

*Specifically Grizzly Bears, all that playing dead in front of a Black Bear will get you is its thanks for not moving around whilst it’s trying to eat. This is also slightly worrying for Daily Mail Sub Editors who it seems cannot tell the difference between the two.

Mail Subs Not Even Trying Now

2011-10-03T22:21:00.001+01:00

I know this pales compared to them posting the incorrect verdict in the Knox appeal. But it should be pointed out.

Front Page

Yep, that’s a Grizzly alright, well done the photo editor for once, been watching those Animal Planet videos, good.

Let us click through and read the story

In the time it takes to click a URL, hey presto the species has changed.

Story here

Look At The Big Number, Look, Look

2011-09-29T11:58:00.001+01:00

Why that’s almost to the Moon and back.

Hold on, 40,000m is 40km is 24.8 miles

Now I don’t know how much of South East’s network already has ‘conductor rail heating’ But I would imagine over the whole network an increase of 24 miles is a spit in a bucket.

I wonder why they didn’t go with ‘and add 40,000,000mm of conductor rail heating’

Much like when they converted selling petrol by Gallons to Litres, If you turn it into Metric you can get away with any old bollocks.

Full story and glow sticks here

The Horror!!!……oh wait

2011-09-28T18:25:00.001+01:00

The moral outrage is building as I click through to the story, letters to the Editor, Broken Britain, probably an immigrant / teenager / pikey. SOMETHING MUST BE DONE

and then.

Oh OK then. But still …

Bastard

Trimming The Fat

2011-09-27T09:38:00.001+01:00

Sorry couldn’t resist it

It was a headline just crying out to be written

and Photoshopped

Einstein Responds

2011-09-27T08:59:00.001+01:00

Native American Summer. Surely?

2011-09-26T11:28:00.001+01:00

I’m shocked and outraged I tell you, there may be some Native Americans who could possibly be offended by this and if they aren’t I'm going to find some and tell them they should be and then I'm going to DEMAND that all these writers be SACKED.

They Must Be Really Good Pies

2011-09-21T19:31:00.001+01:00

FISH and chips for just £1 had hundreds of customers queuing for up to three hours as a takeaway celebrated its first birthday.

They served up 2,000 fish, over a ton of chips and got through 28 buckets of batter.Fosters Fish and Chips shop put on the special promotion in Didsbury, Manchester.The fish and chip meal deal saved £4.75 on the usual price.
“We have to stop serving at 10pm. The queues were so big I had to tell people to stop queuing from eight.
One guy who queued for 45 minutes wanted a pie and chips – so we had to charge him full price.”

It Starts with Parasols

2011-09-20T11:30:00.001+01:00

Woman hurt in Frinton parasol attack

A WOMAN was left with a bruised eye after being hit with a parasol in Frinton.

Then escalates to hats

Man pushes woman onto Tube tracks in trivial row over hat

Police are hunting a smartly dressed man who pushed a woman onto the tracks at a Tube station after an argument about his hat.

I mean what ever next, will we be reading about

Mob Beats Man to death for wearing brown in town

A shoot of the cuffs to JuliaM for the Frinton story

Crazy Horses, Wah, Wah*

2011-09-18T09:01:00.001+01:00

I’ve never been a big fan of horses, sure I can appreciate them from a distance, they look good running especially when passing a winning post at 8/1, they are graceful and powerful, all the things that make prepubescent girls swoon (or at least the ones I knew growing up, I imagine the want of a pony is now replaced by want of Jimmy Choo’s or whatever Katie Price is selling).

Now a fear of large mammals is no bad thing, as Mark Wadsworth is ably documenting, cows can kill you on a whim. It is just self preservation.

Yet horses disturb me more than most other ‘domestic’ beasts, I don’t know what it is, maybe it is that their heads are too aquiline, almost raptor like. When they look at you there’s always seems to be a ‘knowing’ in the eyes, a ‘I could crush you in an instant, so don’t fuck with me’ look.

Now you may put this down to the nervousness of the city boy and it’s true I am a city boy through and through, I don’t like ‘the country’, it’s dark and it smells. I love my street lights, my paved roads, my 24/7 corner shops and lack of murderous wildlife.

“Oh pshaw Pavlov’s Cat” You say “You typical city boy, horses are lovely and gentle, my best friend is a horse, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Oh really, are you that sure?

Deadly Equines: The Shocking True Story of Meat-Eating and Murderous Horses

click for larger

Don’t seem so ‘crazy’ now, do I?

Pavlov’s Cat Almost Being Killed to Death (Again)

click to embiggen

Although all this horse is thinking is;

“I’ll happily go vegan if someone gets this fat fuck of my back”

(Authors Note: I have now lost weight since then)
[Ed. Note. Not that much, you’re still a fat fuck just not ‘that’ fat]

*Apologies to all those that now have The Osmonds in their heads for the rest of the day

11 Good Men and True + 1 Idiot

2011-09-17T09:55:00.001+01:00

Juror turns up at court in '21 today' sash...so judge lets her leave to enjoy her birthday

A juror was discharged four days into a child rape trial because she had booked a pampering session to mark her 21st birthday.
She had earlier caused a commotion in the courtroom when she took her seat with glitter in her hair and wearing a sash saying ‘21 today’.

This is four days into the trial mind, not the first day, she will have seen what people were wearing in court, so what on earth made this brain dead vacuous moron think this was appropriate dress for a court of law. Perhaps she thought ‘Well if the legal blokes and the Judge can wear those wigs and robes, I’m entitled to bling myself up for my ‘special’ day.”

That she was even allowed to take her seat beggars belief, surely it is holding the court in contempt? and warrants a severe admonishment at the very least, but then to be discharged because she had a ‘spa’ treatment booked, face/palm doesn’t come into it.

(However I am assuming the judge did this because he believed she would be worse than useless as a juror if the request was disallowed, better to get rid of her than keep her on the jury)

I’m afraid it is yet another sad example of our ‘me first, sod everyone else’ culture

NB: I have done jury service, on all occasions I was either suit & tie, or just trousers, ironed shirt & tie (gets hot in there). One young chap turned up in jeans & T-Shirt one day and was admonished by another juror to “Have some respect, we are making decision's about somebodies life here, this is serious business, treat it as such” He was suitably attired the next day.

Ant-hropomorphism

2011-09-16T15:28:00.001+01:00

It’s fish shooting time at the barrel that is The Daily Mail .

Once again both the writer (and picture sub) show a complete ignorance of flora and fauna combined with prose that would make even Disney blush*.

He ANT heavy, he’s my son: Mother shows her strength with a bit of child’s play

click for larger

Not to go into too much detail, if you want to look up more information on ants, there is a wealth of it. But just to point out, only the Queen Ant lays eggs and is protected at the heart of the colony. The majority of ants are sterile females with a few male drones to fertilise the queen kept in the nest. (you will see male ants outside the nest at certain times, they are the one that swarm on certain evenings here in the UK hoping to meet up with new queens,) So if anything it would be ‘daughter’

Nice pictures though. shame there doesn’t seem to a single accurate fact in the article

*Anthropomorphism – The attribution of human characteristics (or characteristics assumed to belong only to humans) to non-human animals, non-living things, phenomena, material states, objects or abstract concepts, such as spirits or deities.

Nice, Do You Get A T- Shirt?

2011-09-15T14:28:00.001+01:00

Whilst I am sure that to some it is on a par with getting a ‘Worlds Greatest …..’ mug on your birthday.

However I would still like to offer my congratulations to my personal favourites on the list.

And to those of them that are new entries as well. Well done you, absolutely outstanding and well deserved.

Top 40 Libertarian blogs

2 (6) Anna Raccoon

6 (7) Underdogs Bite Upwards

14 (13) Captain Ranty

16 (-) Autonomous Mind

19 (-) Ambush Predator

25 (-) Witterings from Witney

34 (-) Angry Exile

36 (-) Mark Wadsworth

38 (-) Longrider

It was also gratifying to see Orphans of Liberty steam in at number 13 a site that has only been up since December 2010, so well done as well to James Higham and Longrider for that.

Out of the 40 , there’s a lot of ‘Orphans’ well done all.of them also.

Do Ya Think?

2011-09-15T10:25:00.001+01:00

And todays Award for ‘No Shit Sherlock’ goes to The Committee on Standards in Public Life for its survey which found that there has been a.

'Steep' drop in public confidence in MPs, says watchdog

The percentage of people in England who think MPs are dedicated to working well for the public dropped from 46% to 26%.

That’s because we now see them as thieving, venal place holders out for the main chance.

The watchdog said it would be "strange" if the expenses scandal had not contributed to public unhappiness.

If I see something that, looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. The Committee on Standards in Public Life is not so sure.

Although it shows a "long-term decline in public confidence in those holding public office" since 2004, the report says that on many issues, the decline since 2008 has been even "steeper".

So 2004 about the time we realised Tony Blair had no clothes and when did Gordon become Prime Minister late 2007 wasn’t it?

Other findings included a drop in the number of people who believe MPs are competent, from 36% in 2008 to 26% in 2010,

It was that high?, they are competent only in stealing or spending OUR money

But only on "not taking bribes" did a majority of people - 67% - believe that all or most MPs exhibited that quality.

That’s because after ‘Cash for questions’ they realised it was better to loot from the inside and made it easier for themselves to do so and if it wasn’t for that pesky journalist they would have got away with it too. (They still do all right out of think tanks and banks when they leave though, funny that)

Still it’s only a survey and these things can be wrong after all 73% of respondents said Senior Police Officers were ‘Trusted To Tell The Truth’ although the survey was in January prior to Hackgate. so it might have dropped a bit by now.

I hate them all with a passion you can only dream of.

A Small ‘Yay Me’

2011-09-13T23:55:00.001+01:00

I know one shouldn’t count ones chicken before they are hatched, but it does look like that I am returning to the ranks of income tax paying serfs.

I had an interview last Friday. I do give a good interview, the majority of interviews I’ve had I have been offered the job (unless they were purely fishing expeditions). The primary interviewer had actually ‘read’ my CV and cover letter and saw beyond recent employment and asked pertinent and relevant questions. Also the 5 min presentation I had to give was a bit heart felt, so that didn’t hurt.

Like everybody I’m sure, I thought it went well, until I started second guessing myself on the way home; Was I too eager, too desperate, did I emphasise the wrong things, was I too cocky, did I bang on too long about my experience. You know the sort of thing.

I was told at the end of the interview that they had a lot of people to see and I would hear maybe at the end of this week, but probably the next.

So you wait for the call and in my case having had to start all over again too many times, you con yourself that it doesn’t matter, shit happens, but that’s not true.

So only on Monday last at 10;00 I answered the phone to an ‘UNKNOWN NUMBER’ . not a problem, as any one reading here will know I’m getting calls from Hospitals, Social Services etc. with regard to my Nan.

So when ‘Alison’* Introduced herself as '”Hello, this is Alison from XXXXXX, you interviewed with us recently,” my heart sank,“That’s it ,I thought “(I am a pessimist, I have been alive too long) This is a ‘thanks but no thanks’ call’"

But no, it was, “ We'd like to offer you the position of Training Executive based on the the terms discussed at interview. Would you like to accept?”

I was quite polite, instead of the ‘HELL YES!!!’ I wanted to say, I responded with a “That would be fine, thank you very much and I accept the offer”

So now I’ve had verbal confirmation and later email confirmation, but not as yet a contract, which will be coming soon, I’m told. The start date is dependant on getting the induction / training process in sync with the new hires, but should be ASAP.

I’m looking forward to it, it’s a job I’ve done before and know I can do well. It is slightly different as it is based at the users premises, so there is a fair bit of driving involved, but that's OK.

I also have to spend 4 weeks in Leeds over the initial training period, so I hope they hurry up, Winter is coming and I am a feared of wolves and the White Walkers.

Utter Cockwaffle

2011-09-13T07:50:00.001+01:00

Oh yes, once again from The Daily Mail

At least 100 burned alive after discarded cigarette butt sparks massive fire in Kenyan shantytown

Residents of the slum tried to scoop up the fuel from the burst pipe and sewer, but were set on fire when the petrol ignited after someone threw a cigarette butt.

I am not making light of the tragedy here, it is a terrible thing.

But this is just stupid, the Hollywood myth that you can explode petrol with a cigarette has been debunked so many times, you’d think this reporter would be embarrassed to repeat it.

Can You Ignite Gasoline With A Cigarette?

I’m not suggesting there’s any sort of agenda here, other than lazy, ill informed journalism, that would be crazy wouldn’t it?

Addendum:

It seems The Guardian don’t read their own back issues either.

The fire began without warning when a man tossed away a cigarette butt.

and yet the first ‘hit’ on the above Google search is

Arthouse Wankery

2011-09-09T09:47:00.001+01:00

Todays top quotes

From BuzzFeed.com* on

Topless Amy Winehouse Memorial Statue

So “artist” Daniel Edwards has drawn up plans for a Amy Winehouse bust at the behest of some British people he met on Facebook. It will apparently be made out of chocolate, pieces of a insane man's fantasy, and the sheer need to have 15min of fame.

Clicking through to the original piece leads us to

Anyone can just sit around drawing a statue of a topless, pre-implant Amy Winehouse made out of chocolate, but it takes a dedicated mental case to actually chisel into a Hershey bar and carve each protruding rib bone with your bare hands so Satan will stop living in your toaster. But this? This is just masturbating. Arthouse wankery into a solitary beret that’s later folded neatly into a hexagon and sold for $10,000 to some twatwaffle in Manhattan.

*If you don’t subscribe to Buzzfeed.com you should, it has lot’s of good interwebs stuff and pictures of cats

Leave My Cock Alone

2011-09-07T11:05:00.001+01:00

Blatant Attempt To Get Page Hits From Blank Minded Blogger

Terence

A 17-YEAR-OLD chef says his family and the community will be left devastated if Greenwich Council makes him get rid of his cockerel Terence.

Hyperbole thy name is local newspaper. What you actually mean is, you’ll be a bit sad and the community will go ‘meh’

Still Local Councils eh, with their petty ‘rules’

A spokesman for Greenwich Council said: “The rules around keeping animals in council properties are clear and form part of tenancy agreements.
“Hens can be kept under certain circumstances that safeguard their well-being, avoid nuisance to neighbours and make sure vermin are not attracted.
“The keeping of cockerels is not allowed because they instinctively make noise which is not appropriate in built up environments and can cause a nuisance to neighbours.
“Following noise complaints we visited the property and Mr King was informed of the rules which mean that unfortunately the cockerel can not be kept at the property.
“We would like to meet with Mr King and help him come to a solution which provides a long term home for his cockerel.
“We are happy that the hens are being well cared for and we have no objection at all to them remaining at the property.”

Actually that seems a pretty reasonable answer/response to me.

So you can keep the hens, but I’m afraid it’s no more cock for you my lad..

On Those ‘60 EDL Arrests’

2011-09-05T11:17:00.001+01:00

There can’t have been a MSM source on Sunday that didn’t trumpet the headline.

60 Blimey, it must have really been kicking off. It’s only a bit further down you read

Later in the evening 44 people on a coach taking EDL supporters away were arrested on suspicion of violent disorder.

So 44 out of the 60 were actually on a bus at the time, as Chief Wiggum would say

“That’s some fancy police work Lou!”

The BBC at least this time attempts to fill in some gaps, although the story is now a minor headline in the News/England/London section. (emphasis mine)

The coach was carrying 44 EDL members when it stopped in Mile End Road, Tower Hamlets.
About 100 Asian teenagers* then pelted it with bricks and stones, according to a BBC reporter at the scene.
Police arrested all 44 EDL supporters, who were travelling from a protest in Aldgate earlier on Saturday. A double decker bus was used to evacuate them.

Face/Palm

Want to see a video of the attack, it’s pretty clear, I expect they’ll be able to make some arrests now as they couldn’t at the time.

Youths Attack Coach Carrying EDL Supporters

A massive tip of the hat to Goodnight Vienna at Calling England

*This is very unusual for the BBC. I expect it to be changed later either to just ‘teenagers’ or the more usual ‘youths’

How Can We Frighten People Today?

2011-09-03T20:06:00.001+01:00

I have posted before on the woeful ignorance of The Daily Mail when it comes to firearms including both here and here.

But when it comes to frightening the public and reinforcing the PTB insistence on a disarmed public, even a group they seem to tacitly support can act to whip up ‘The Fear’ of the evil guns.

Chilling pictures of 'EDL members' posted online posing with an array of deadly weapons...

Lets have a look at this array of deadly weapons (click photo’s for bigger)

That to me looks like a gas powered air rifle.

On the left : An H&K MP5 almost certainly a replica, practically impossible to get in the UK (unless a policeman leaves one on the pavement)

On the right: An MP40 WWII vintage machine pistol, probably another replica , if not, it’s over 70 years old and not safe to fire (if you could get the ammunition)

Now these two could possibly be real, without a higher resolution picture it’s too hard to tell, odds are they are not.

On the right: an air rifle On the left: Another air rifle. Both perfectly legal still to own

OK that’s a gun agreed, but providing he has a firearms licence, perfectly legal to own and there is no law against posing like a prat in an unsafe manner (yet)

DM: EDL Flag posing with a gun

PC: EDL Flag posing with an air rifle

.22 Rifle Legal Shotgun: Also legal

Crossbow: Legal, anyone over 18 can buy one, dicks included

SA80: Standard issue to British armed services, if you look at the back drop this is probably taken at a recruiting stand at a fete or fayre, Where they let you sit in the trucks and hold the guns, fun when you’re 10, a bit strange when older. i.e it is not HIS gun.

Are you frightened yet by all those pictures of ‘guns’?

No then let us use our ‘words’ to ram it home.

‘chilling array of guns’ ‘array of deadly weapons.’ ‘a powerful looking rifle’ ‘with a scope mounted to the top.’ To the ‘top’ people imagine that (although quite where else you are supposed to mount a ‘scope’ I don’t know) ‘a grimacing figure ‘ ‘clutches a pair of handguns’ ‘slings two guns over his shoulders’ ‘a deadly shotgun ‘ ‘A terrifying haul of rifles ‘ (remember it’s 2 airguns and a .22, oooh terrifying).’another terrifying looking weapon is brandished’ brandished you see , not just held, brandished.

I would hate to be the writer and picture sub, they must have an attack of the vapours every time a Western comes on the telly.

You Don’t Say

2011-09-02T18:31:00.001+01:00

Really they’d be hard pushed to do it with anything else.

Is This What They Call A Zero Sum Game?

2011-08-30T11:55:00.001+01:00

Up to 80 people were rescued after they were swept out to sea during a charity swim to raise cash for the RNLI.

All the swimmers had been taking part in a 3.8km charity race round Joss Bay, Broadstairs, Kent on Sunday.
He added: "When we got down there we found that there was a number of swimmers that had gone out, I understand the numbers are in the high upper tens.
"In the end through a search between two inshore lifeboats, rescue boats, and some paddle boarders which were part of the event, all people were brought ashore and accounted for.

No, I suppose one shouldn’t mock as they were doing it for perhaps one of the only worthwhile charities still out there.

However I am obliged to Watch manager Gordon Wise for adding a new phrase to my lexicon.

“I understand the numbers are in the high upper tens.”

I mean that is pure solid gold management speak.

PC: Can you lend me some cash I’m a bit short?
Pal: Sure how much do you need?
PC: Something in the high upper tens should do.
PAL: WTF?

ref: Zero Sum Game – Wikipedia

I’m Not Following This Tax Malarky

2011-08-28T18:39:00.001+01:00

I’m over at Orphans of Liberty today

NAZI RACOONS and GIANT TESTICLES

2011-08-25T09:43:00.001+01:00

from The Register (ever eager for the main headline chance)

Amphibious Nazi raccoons menace Sweden

Hermann Göring's furry stormtroopers poised to strike

Sweden is bracing for an amphibious assault by a considerable force of raccoon dogs and raccoons, poised to cross the Öresund strait which separates the country from neighbouring Denmark.
Raccoon dogs (Nyctereutes procyonoides) are native to east Asia, where their populations are actually declining, but they have made themselves right at home across Scandinavia and continental Europe. Raccoons (Procyon lotor) are native to North America.
The raccoon dog was introduced into Latvia in the 1940s, and rapidly invaded neighbouring countries, penetrating as far south as Italy.
Two breeding pairs of raccoons were released outside Kassel, Germany, in 1934, with the authorisation of Hermann Göring's Reich Forestry Office, with spectacular results.

Hmm ‘Racoon Dog ‘ That would be the Tanuki as he is known in Japan, well known for his unfeasibly large testicles.

click for larger

I wonder how

"Tan-tan-tanuki's testicles,
there isn't even any wind
but still go swing-swing-swing."

Translates into Swedish.

I didn’t mention in my original piece , But the Tanuki has its own onomatopoeia ‘Ponpoko’

This is the sound supposedly made by the Tanuki using its testicles as a drum. I was told but never had occasion to use it, that you can use it in conversation if you believe the person is talking bollocks.

Man 1: I believe David Cameron and the government have things under control now and I expect things to get better very soon.

Man 2: Oh ponpoko

The Importance of Being Idle

2011-08-23T11:20:00.001+01:00

This conversation occurred after waiting 2 weeks for him to fix the water pump he broke whilst putting it on the ramp for the MOT. I noticed that the car kept cutting out when coming to a stop at traffic lights etc.

click for larger if needed

It Was Always ‘Wrong’!

2011-08-21T18:37:00.001+01:00

Full story: The Daily Mail

For sure there are many things wrong with the MSN in this country, not least the obsession with ‘Celebrity’ or to fully report on our depredations by the ‘great and good’ , their continued enslavement to the political class. But if I started listing them, I'd be here all day and into Monday.

But this particular one has raised my dander for years. How can a robbery or burglary ‘go wrong’ when the initial act was in itself ‘wrong’

A stunt can ‘go wrong’ a prank can ‘go wrong’ even a plan can ‘go wrong’ . but surely if that original plan was commit an illegal act, a ‘wrong’ act it cannot ‘go wrong’.

Do you ever read ‘A householder was devastated after a burglary on his house went right’.? No you don’t. Yet to me by implication by saying ‘she was killed in a robbery or burglary that went wrong’ Is to say that it would have been OK apart from the fact that someone was killed.

“Oh pish and tosh Pavlov’s Cat” I hear you say “That’s not the point at all and you know it, you are just arguing semantics for the sake of it. Everybody knows that burglary and robbery are wrong”

Do they? Have you been reading the same things I’ve been reading in the last 2 weeks, because I'm afraid that it seems that not everybody does know that.

We have come to accept in this country as a matter of course a low level criminality as an occupational hazard and this is wrong. The reasons for it are myriad and I’m not going to start going into them now.

Whilst I am sure that the Oxygen thief that carried out this act did not intend for anybody to be killed, killed they were, in fact all because they decided to commit an illegal act. If they had decided not to ‘do wrong’ in the first place Judith Richardson would still be alive.

To my mind describing the brutal murder* of a pensioner as something that has merely ‘gone wrong’ is both a symptom and a cause and also an insult to the victim.

*I say murder as to my mind that is what it is, however as we know, murder is very hard to prove in our courts, so it will probably be reduced to manslaughter and maybe not even that.

An Unfortunate Number?

2011-08-20T12:37:00.001+01:00

Sometimes a number conjures up associations and thoughts that perhaps the writer never intended.

But may be that's just me, being a cynical old fart and slightly mad.

I Am Not Surprised

2011-08-18T08:47:00.001+01:00

Japanese shame British looters with their honesty by returning £50 million found in quake rubble to tsunami victims

Japan has shamed Britain with its honesty in the aftermath of the earthquake and tsunami that brought the country to its knees.
While Britain’s courts are clogged with the steady stream of thieves and looters following last week’s riots, it emerged yesterday that the Japanese returned almost £50 million in cash found in the quake rubble.
In the five months since the disaster struck, people have turned in thousands of wallets and purses found in the debris, containing nearly £30 million in cash.

Also seen in Japan Today

Why am I not surprised?

What? didn’t you read my post on “Why Is There No Looting In Japan?” or any of the other Japan posts Shame on you.

O’Torii, Miyajima

BWAHAHAHAHA!

2011-08-16T12:12:00.001+01:00

Swindon switches street lights back on to boost safety

Hundreds of street lights in Swindon which were switched off to save money are being turned back on to boost safety
Council officials say energy-saving plans on 11 streets were revised as the roads were considered too dark.

I’m crying here, honestly there are real tears, 6 weeks into a 12 month trial and this is at the lightest time of the year. BWAHAHAHAHA

No English Category?

2011-08-16T11:28:00.001+01:00

click image to vote

Yes it the time of year for the Total Politics Blog awards, I went over to vote for a few of the good people who read this blog, I would vote for all, but there weren’t enough spaces.

Apart from the usual media whores, some people do deserve recognition for opening my eyes to stuff and also providing me with a good laugh.

And yet once again when it comes to selecting ‘Categories’ there is not one for English blogs and there are many out there. Yet you can get voted for by just being in Scotland when you write your blog, but not for actually living in England. and writing.

click for larger

Where for instance would I put the excellent Bexley is Bonkers , very local, very specific, very English. I suppose I could put it in Non-aligned, but I feel it doesn’t do it justice.

Although I suppose given the years of the denigration of Englishness. By that way of thinking any blog that would declare itself English automatically goes into the ‘Right Wing’ category.

Serving Suggestion

2011-08-15T14:12:00.001+01:00

A Kent man found 37 guinea pigs dumped in his back garden on his return from holiday.

Click for bigger

This is not me, this is an Australian named Matt somewhere in Darkest Peru. As we all know Australians will eat anything provided you wipe its arse and walk it past the grill (sometimes even skipping the first step).

His verdict “ Crunchy and tastes a bit like chicken.”

Let Us Sit Upon The Carpet And Tell Sad Stories

2011-08-13T10:51:00.001+01:00

I’m still around in case you were wondering.

I spent last Friday to Wednesday acting as de-facto carer for my Grandmother, as the hospital turfed her out on the Friday bed clearing exercise and her [Don’t] Care Manager flat out lied to me that everything was in place for her to return home. (It wasn’t, hence my sojourn in Orpington)

So I was without internets for possibly the most exciting 4 days of the year and in any case I can’t add to all the millions of words that have already been written about the so called ‘riots’ ( Am I the only one annoyed they are described as ‘riots’ when they were just robberies with violence over a wide area).

The rest of the time has been spent applying for the available jobs out there, most of which due either to age or far too much experience I won’t even get a response from.

That being the case, everything I’ve tried to write has, to me, turned out self pitying and whiney, so not wishing to subject you to that, I’d rather remain silent, read my FeedDemon blog reader and comment where I can. Oh, and play Hash Tag games on Twitter.

I met a Koala once

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air

2011-08-05T08:56:00.001+01:00

Sometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"

And then sometimes I just feel like this.

Squeeze Till The Pips Squeak

2011-08-02T12:20:00.001+01:00

Westminster axes Sunday free parking

Free on-street parking in the evenings and on Sundays is to be scrapped across the West End.Westminster Tories voted to press ahead with charges to boost the council's £49 million annual parking income by up to £7 million a year.

Can some one explain to me, how in the name of Jebus this is supposed to help anybody, except the local council.

Surely as we continue to struggle out of recession, they should be encouraging more people to vsit the West End, go see a show, go to dinner. Not actively discouraging them.

Not everybody wants to get the Last Train home with Stabby McStab, Drunky McDrunk and Little Miss Sweary.

In any case my last train from town is 23:38, doesn’t give much time for lingering over a fine brandy and a Monte Cristo (pre July 2007). I could get a cab I suppose, but then add £30 plus to the night out (and in any case I live Sarf of the river)

This really does beggar belief.

Headline of the Week

2011-07-30T14:02:00.001+01:00

From the Daily Telegraph no less

Harry Potter dwarf spared jail over juggler's hat sex act

Although it had strong competition from

That is all, now be about your Saturday business. TTFN

Freeze Punk, RSPCA!

2011-07-28T12:54:00.001+01:00

Elite officers prepare to Flash/Bang pensioner for not changing her budgies newspaper

Grandmother convicted of animal cruelty and made to wear electronic tag... for being too upset to put elderly dog down

The death of a pet is a terrible thing, one that all pet owners sadly have to face, unfortunately our boon companions are not granted as long as us on the earth. Yet while they are here they provide such comfort, joy and companionship far and above their brief time with us. Having been in a similar situation I would have given anything for just one more day, but it was not to be and it’s a terrible decision to have to make.

This is very sad story and one you might have thought could be handled by a bit of empathy and sitting down with a cup of tea and a good long chat. But not it seems for the RSPCA.

We’ve seen all to frequently how the RSPCA has no compunction in using donations to fight court cases against wills that they feel they have been bilked out of their share. But this sort of heavy handed approach is becoming far more common perhaps it’s a ploy ‘pour encourage les autres’.

But that’s not the jist of this post, no, the reason I’m writing this is a couple of things stood out in the story, now, it could just be lazy reporting (it is the Daily Mail after all)

The RSPCA broke into her home and, after finding the dog with numerous medical problems, charged 71-year-old Mrs Spoor with causing unnecessary suffering to her loyal companion.

‘The RSPCA broke into her home’ did you get that ? they ‘broke into her home’

I’m sorry I didn’t realise the RSPCA had been given Open Warrants to enter peoples property.

As far as I know, the only people in the UK with ‘Open Warrants’ i.e not needed to be authorised by a Judge are HM Customs & Excise and the utility companies, the latter only being authorised to enter to disconnect the supply.

I hope I’m wrong, but I am assuming that the RSPCA approached the Police, the Police approached a Judge and the Judge based on the ‘evidence’ issued a warrant to enter this ladies home. Then the breaking in was carried out by a duly authorised & Warranted Police Officer accompanied by the RSPCA.

What’s worrying is that at no point did anybody say “Hang on a bit, this is an old lady here, looking to lose a friend, couldn’t this be handled a bit more sensitively?’

Which brings me to the second point ‘

and, after finding the dog with numerous medical problems, charged 71-year-old Mrs Spoor ‘

The RSPCA charged her did they, funny I thought that was the job of the Crown Prosecution Service or have the RSPCA become Judge Judy and Executioner* these days.

If however the CPS did bring the charge after pressure from the RSPCA whoever did it should be sacked as they are quite plainly useless, but I suppose on the stat’s sheet a conviction is a conviction in our don’t look at the quality, look at the numbers Judicial system.

Somewhere along the line the RSPCA seems to have lost sight of what it was actually founded for, It seems to have become ‘The Royal Society for the Policing of Cruelty to Animals’

I do know they will be getting no more money from me again and stories like this will only ensure that others will follow suit.

*Hot Fuzz ref, been dying to get it in

That’s a Lot of Cheese

2011-07-27T10:50:00.001+01:00

Now I’m quite fond of a bit of cheese, some extra mature Cheddar, a bit of Stilton on crackers at Christmas , I’ve even been known to partake of Brie on occasion (normally with bacon in a baguette mind)

But nearly 4 stone of cheese per year , surely that can’t be right?

I think even Wallace & Gromit would be hard pushed to do that and they really like cheese.

This One Goes To 11

2011-07-24T16:09:00.001+01:00

I must have missed the other King Charles, I only learnt of 2 in O’Level History

Clearly the Daily Mail knows something I don’t.

Story here

Much Like An Elephant Or A Klingon

2011-07-23T10:11:00.001+01:00

Teh Interwebs never forgives or forgets

This really should have been a case of check twice then check again before hitting ‘publish’

click for larger cock

The corrected version

Reves d'Etoiles….. C’est Finis

2011-07-22T10:32:00.001+01:00

A very sad day yesterday, when the space shuttle Atlantis touched down for the last time.

For now that’s pretty much it for those of us who grew up hoping for a chance to one day be an astronaut and now with Concorde gone as well, no chance of even flying faster than the speed of sound (unless you are fabulously wealthy)

I honestly thought growing up in the late 60’s –70’s that we would have reached Mars by now or at least had a Moon Base (like Space 1999).

Politics more than anything brings it to an end, If a politician cannot see any immediate benefit in a project to him/her it deserves no further consideration.

It is a sad step backwards on the road to making us all medieval peasants again, afraid of the dark and in thrall to the Lords of the Manor.

Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?

In the room adjacent you are undressing
and I imagine the wall between us is more
transparent than my heart. I trace the

shadow that marks the differences between
us (postpone for a moment the need to determine
who is light and who is darkness--both states are

preferable to the nothing in between). In this house
I wonder at the walls, how they could have been
built so much thinner than my own. At night,

deep at night, I lay awake imagining I am
on the roof mystified by starlight, lost in the
lack of self, the dark matter and the dark

energy, the dark at all, where I become the
shadow. This starlight itself is our distant past,
the place where we began. I am helpless against

the onslaught of memories. Between you and
between I there was the catalyst of love, the
spark that travelled one hundred thousand

light years to become us today. We were astronauts
training for space travel, hitching a ride on a
shuttle bound to skim Earth’s fragile atmosphere.

We catapulted fiercely upward in the poignant
attempt to grasp those altitudes previously
imagined only by poets and smitten nerds;

the moon, the stars, Jupiter's satellites, mere space.
We methodically composed a future without end
and now, stalled on this eternal landing strip, are left

embarrassingly unprepared for the inevitable
anticlimax. After all of it... after the one step, the giant
leap, the missions and the thrust, after the spectacular

and the tragic, after the epiphanies of hearts left
momentarily unbound by gravity of thought or
promise or debt, after we soared beyond all

expectations, we confront the persistent disability
that we are tethered here, after all, by our most
mundane realities. There is no app for reinvention.

Landing by Martin A Bartels

H/t to Clare Kirwan & Poetry24 for the poem

Unfortunate or Mischief ?

2011-07-21T20:07:00.001+01:00

From the London Evening Standard

How Many Times …. FFS

2011-07-21T10:44:00.001+01:00

Pedant post

Can we not get this right ‘Frankenstein’ was the name of the creator, the monster had no name. Unless by chance these fossils resemble a 19th Century European scientist

Nope, can’t see the resemblance, if however you are referring to the fact that the fossils resemble a melange of various parts of other creatures, much like the fictional creation of Victor Frankenstein then the headline should read

Mysterious ‘Frankenstein’s Monster – like’ fossils provide fresh clues to evolution of insects

Ah, I see in some circles it is acceptable to name the creature ‘Frankenstein’, but not by me Goddammit and never will be.

Story here

I May Not Know Much About Art…..Reprise

2011-07-19T15:46:00.001+01:00

But I know what I like and I like this.

"This Painting is Not Available in Your Country" Paul Mutant, 2010.
click image for larger

Paul Mutant's painting is intended to be commentary on the incoherent absurdity of territorial rights enforcement in the age of the Internet.

Lord Nelson Is Spinning

2011-07-17T10:01:00.001+01:00

Yes very amusing I’m sure, but surely this must have been filmed prior to the scrapping of ALL our Sea Harriers.

A little research is called for.

Directed by Outsider's Pedro Romhany, the shoot was based entirely in Thailand and encountered some interesting difficulties when the aircraft carrier they were using was put on red alert due to a skirmish between Thailand and Cambodia.

Yes the aircraft carrier is The Chakri Naruebet the flagship of The Royal Thai Navy.

So there you have it, in the year 2011, The Royal Thai Navy has more force projection at sea than the British Navy. Now who’d have thought that could happen.

That ‘thrumming’ sound you hear when you pass St Paul’s Cathedral is probably Lord Nelson achieving about 3600rpm.

No Need To Make New Law

2011-07-14T10:25:00.001+01:00

As The Appalling Strangeness and others point out , there is no need to make new law over the ‘phone hacking’ issue, it was already illegal.

In fact most of the 4000 new statutes (I hate to call them laws, see Captain Ranty for definitions) foisted on us by Nu-Labour, the minority could have been covered by existing law being applied, not some knee jerk ‘something must be done’ ill tempered legislation. The remainder is just imposed EU statute turning our legal system into a Code Napoleon.

An example of old law being used today

Carriage driver arrested outside The Chequers in Bickley for 'drunk' horse incident
Police followed the vehicle after spotting the driver slumped in the carriage with his two dogs in the back as it zig-zagged across the road at around 9pm on Sunday (July 10).
The horse galloped down the road before stopping outside the Chequers and the man stumbled out of the carriage.
Officers feared he was unwell and were met with the response: "Yes, I'm drunk, my horse is drunk, so what are you going to do about it?"
The man was arrested on suspicion of being drunk in charge of a horse and carriage on a highway, under the 1872 Licensing Act, and taken to Bromley police station for questioning.
He was issued with a £50 fixed penalty notice.

It may be a simplistic analogy, I am not a ~~bottom feeding ambulance chaser~~ lawyer , but there you go.

So what does it say the 1872 Licencing Act

Penalty on persons found drunk.
Every person who is drunk while in charge on any highway or other public place of any carriage, horse, cattle, or steam engine, or who is drunk when in possession of any loaded firearms, may be apprehended, and shall be liable to a penalty not exceeding forty shillings, or in the discretion of the court to imprisonment for any term not exceeding one month.

See, covered in a law made 139 years ago, Although it doesn’t say anything about sheep, maybe shepherds were more temperate in 1872.

Interesting the bit about “Drunk when in possession of any loaded firearms” see it actually was not illegal then to carry a firearm for your own protection, how times change.

Question

Slightly O/T , it may be an old wives tale, but I remember being told, that you couldn’t be arrested or charged with ‘Cycling while Drunk’. As no such offense existed, as the mere fact you were capable of riding a bike meant you were not within the definition ‘drunk’

Any thoughts?

It’s For The Cheeeeeeldren……. Eventually

2011-07-13T12:44:00.001+01:00

picture edited to make paedo safe

Try to follow Councillor Tim Stevens train of thought here as he eventually gets from the clamp down on counterfeit tobacco to the cheeeldren .

Councillor Tim Stevens, said
“Illegal tobacco is thought to be responsible for four times as many deaths as drugs. Cheap tobacco makes smoking affordable, which reduces people's motivation to quit, encourages smokers to smoke more, and makes it easier for children to take up the habit.”

So not really about protecting Tax Duty , it’s for the cheeldren.

“Illegal tobacco is thought to be responsible for four times as many deaths as drugs.”

O’Reilly, I smell a made up ‘ASH thought’, show me the numbers.

Also what the cocking hell is a ‘Portfolio holder for public protection and safety,’ I thought that was the Police’s job.

Can we get back to Local councils just emptying bins, sweeping the streets and keeping the street lights on. You know what they used to do, before they became social engineers.

Guns and The Daily Mail (again)

2011-07-10T10:45:00.001+01:00

So, the headline

Oooh, “hunting rifles”, It conjures up images of bolt action beasts, snipers, big game hunters, etc. Never mind that at most in the UK we can probably only get a .22 Calibre rifle licence if we can prove to the PTB that it is a necessity.

Following the attack, a local gamekeeper inspected the gunshot wounds and claimed rustlers had used a rifle powerful enough to hunt deer.

So what photo does the Picture Editor after combing teh interwebs for suitable imagery use to illustrate this ‘ rifle powerful enough to hunt deer.’

That’s right, a bloody shotgun

Story here

[Yes it’s another pedant post, but cut me some slack will you, I’m having a tough time at the moment, I just lost my job, I can’t seem to find another one and I’m fighting off depression by the skin of my teeth]

Couldn’t Find A Badger Picture?

2011-07-05T11:16:00.001+01:00

click for larger

Whilst not technically incorrect, I can’t help thinking that perhaps the News Shopper needs to expand its Stock Photo Library.

I know these days we have to have ‘visuals’ with everything but perhaps the story might have been better illustrated with a picture of say a bad badger (It is not as if they don’t have previous in posting animal identification pictures) or even a picture of a petrol station.

story here

Love the comment “Young man driving like a pratt makes up badger story.” It’s what we’re all thinking

You Might Have Missed This

2011-07-03T10:19:00.001+01:00

Seven anti-facists face jail for an attack on two 'Nazis'

Seven anti-fascist protesters are facing jail today for plotting to ambush two men making their way to a 'neo-Nazi' event.
The masked and hooded demonstrators lined a railway platform waiting for their targets to get off a train, and attacked on hearing the command: "Kill the Nazis", the court heard.
Patrick O'Donovan was punched and kicked to the ground and his companion Michael Heihl was chased onto the tracks at Welling station, Kent, the jury was told.

Why might you have missed this?

Well, I’ve looked and looked, but out of the MSM it seems only the London Evening Standard deemed it worthy of reporting.

Regardless of your opinion on the politics (both groups to me are equally loathsome) The fact that a mob was formed to beat and possibly more, to then travel and then not ‘counter-protest’ but with the intent to inflict harm, should be reported. (The initial mob was reported as being 30 strong and things can get out of hand very quickly if you add in the shout of ‘Kill the Nazi’s)

Is it because the MSM is so far Left these days that any reporting of malfeasance by its followers is strictly off limits (see no articles about the UAF) or is it because the victims were allegedly ‘Fascist’ they deserved what they got.

All I know is that if the headline had read.

Seven Neo-Nazi’s face jail for an attack on two ‘Anti-Facist’s’

You would have seen it plastered on everything from the Red Tops to the broad sheets.

Stop Giving Them Ideas

2011-06-29T11:04:00.001+01:00

Yeah, that’s what we need, teach bears to ride horses, next step Bear Cavalry, think I’m joking just wait.

Imagine this charging towards you, but instead replace the Dragoons with angry bears.

Not so funny now is it laughing boy. One would think with the continuing rise of cow attacks this would be a bad idea. Why only yesterday they were reported as carrying out what can only be seen as a further reconnaissance mission. Note the quotes

'It used to be sheep, and that's bad enough, but cows are a whole different kettle of fish.”

Ignoring the rather confused analogy , the sheep obviously reported back that it was to much for them, send in the cows, natures shock troops.

“It's frightening for many of the older people here to have cows walking down the street, peering in their windows, it's ridiculous.”

See a reconnaissance, just wait.

I mean teach bears to ride horses what ever next , Jesus Christ On A Bike say it ain’t so

We are sowing the seeds of our own destruction. We might as well throw in the towel now before rampaging armies of Kodiak Bears riding GIANT NAZI COWS take to the streets.

I for one welcome our new animal overlords

A Kodiak Bear Riding A GIANT NAZI COW
[artists impression, click image to enlarge]

[Ed note: Another lazy place holding post I’m afraid, the real life situation is getting me down, the job hunting is fruitless, you don’t even get acknowledgments these days let alone interviews, add in traipsing back and forwards to the hospital to visit Nan all the time, Also it was my birthday Monday and birthdays are never fun when you’re out of work, ]

Picture Ed FAIL of the Day

2011-06-24T13:22:00.001+01:00

Ok slightly pedantic, but this is their JOB people.

Not A Glock
click for larger

“But how can you tell Pavlov’s Cat you pedant?”

Well it could be that I know that the Safety Catch on a Glock is in the trigger (which it isn’t above) and that the frame of a Glock is made from an advanced polymer (again which the above isn’t) or that I have a 1:1 Airsoft Glock 17

Or I could just Google Images Glock Pistol and see that that is not a Glock Pistol.

Now as you can see the image was lifted from somebody called ‘Internet’ so why didn’t the Picture Ed do what I did, it is his/her job after all.

This is a Glock 17 a bit of a difference.

Actual Story Here

Update: Prompted by Mark in the comments, for those of you dying to know, the actual pistol in the first image is a Sig-Sauer P220 and the image was lifted from here.

Aaaah How Cute Is That, Now Kill It Dead

2011-06-23T10:34:00.001+01:00

A bear cub that gained fame when it had its photo snapped with a Newfoundland RCMP officer has been killed because it was feared to be too friendly.

Cute Original Story Here

Horrifying Follow Up Story

Sometimes it seems bears just can’t catch a break.

This is also why some people may think I am stand-offish and aloof, but see what happens if you’re considered ‘too friendly’ . Just saying is all

‘Cause Tramps Like Us Baby We Were Born To Run

2011-06-19T10:09:00.001+01:00

Sad news about the death of Saxophonist Clarence Clemons

It’s a sunny morning, going to go for a drive with the windows down and this soundtrack.

Come And ‘Ave A Go

2011-06-16T10:55:00.001+01:00

If you think you’re hard enough

click image for story

Whilst being able to break a mans arm with a wing (allegedly) would be enough for most Avian Assassins. Once again we see a swan trying to punch out of its weight class.

Admittedly it is not as much of a mismatch as last time, but still. c’mon swan, try something a bit smaller to start with, maybe a Smart Car or a G-Whizz, remember what happed to the Koala.

In other news: Real life is unfortunately not any better, so apologies for lack of regular input.

The Toeing of the Cat

2011-06-11T08:17:00.001+01:00

The Policeman is obviously a cat person.

Anyone who is owned by a cat, will know this pose and I have never seen it better illustrated.

They sit inside or outside the door, looking wistfully at you or mewing piteously with occasional glances in your direction. “If only you would please come open this door, I really want to get in or out” they say. “I know there is a perfectly good cat-flap, but I really want to use this door and you are my slave after all”

Then in thrall to their Cat-Jedi Mind Trick, you get up and open the door for them and then what happens, they take one step forward and stop, paws on the door sill and hold. So you stand there waiting for the cat to make up its mind whether it wants to go in or out.

(It could however be some cat dominance game. “Alright Tuggers you’re late tonight” “Yeah Smokey, I made him wait 5 minutes holding the door before I left. The dick” “Nice” )

Then you realise, “Wait a second! I’ve been standing here like a dick for five minutes, holding the door open, waiting for the cat to go in or out, I don’t even do that for the wife/girlfriend/significant other.”

So then commences the ritual of ‘The Toeing of the Cat” a gentle shoving of the rear of the cat with the foot as illustrated in the picture above. Normally accompanied by the uttering the sacred phrase “In or Out it’s your choice”

The cat will then either proceed on its way or do a neat U-turn around the toe and return to its radiator, your bed or digging for gold behind the sofa, in either case acting as if that had been its intention all along.

Not however for one minute am I criticising cats, this blogger for one welcomes our new feline overlords.